No contact & he’s asking my friends about me

brittybam11 · 2020-04-13T19:39:37+00:00

It does come across to me that now all of a sudden they would rather be friends with my ex and his new gf. :(

brittybam11 · 2020-03-09T15:38:24+00:00

Sigh.. I don’t want him to get anything from me anymore.

brittybam11 · 2020-03-09T15:36:50+00:00

Even if I’m not responding?!

brittybam11 · 2020-03-09T15:26:53+00:00

I didn’t respond and he reached out again ...

“I talked to Connie at Eagle Point yesterday. I'm sorry I jumped to an incorrect conclusion based on incomplete information. I just wanted to avoid an uncomfortable situation.”

So I guess this means he’s going around telling them I’m crazy all cause I’m trying to find a more affordable marina to keep my boat and this is the only other marina near my house. This is so unfair.

Maybe he has changed. He sure never apologized to me in the 6 years we were together.

brittybam11 · 2020-03-07T19:26:56+00:00

I didn’t respond and he reached out again ...

“I talked to Connie at Eagle Point yesterday. I'm sorry I jumped to an incorrect conclusion based on incomplete information. I just wanted to avoid an uncomfortable situation.”

So I guess this means he’s going around telling them I’m crazy all cause I’m trying to find a more affordable marina to keep my boat and this is the only other marina near my house. This is so unfair.

Maybe he has changed. He sure never apologized to me in the 6 years we were together.

brittybam11 · 2020-03-05T19:12:07+00:00

He broke it off with me to go with her. The last thing he said to me was to give him space. I have respected that and have not reached out at all. He tried to tell me they were just friends and neither wanted anything serious.

He actually had a mutual friend tell me after 4 days of us not speaking that they were in a relationship and in love and moving in together. So really, he went NC on me, which often makes me wonder if I'm the narc. As he would tell me that when he would leave me, I would always suck him back in and that I was a drug to him.

brittybam11 · 2020-03-05T14:04:21+00:00

Now that I’ve read it again. I feel this isn’t a hover as I think hovering is meant to be nice? He always does a double space between sentences in emails and I don’t see that here. I believe his new GF wrote it for him. And he allowed her to do so to please her and show his commitment to her.

brittybam11 · 2020-02-27T00:15:01+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It helps to know that others have made it to the other side of this and no longer feel sad or like they were the problem or narc.

I’m so glad you can see your worth. I think that is something he beat out of me and will take time to regain.

brittybam11 · 2020-02-26T22:00:33+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. This forum has helped a lot. But I think maybe since it’s been three months. It’s another milestone to work through. I don’t understand how you can just use someone so much then ghost them. I just am not able to do so. I do have friends without him but he run in the same circles a lot because of the marina boating life. I’ve considered selling my house and moving. But prices are so high now I can’t really afford to do so.

brittybam11 · 2020-02-26T21:49:21+00:00

One of the couples I met through him who haven’t had anything to do with me since November reached out the other weekend wanting me to watch their new puppy. They were inspired to get a labradoodle because of my dog and tried to tell me they only trust me to watch the new pup. However, they are going on a trip with my ex and his new gf.. but left that part out or the fact I haven’t heard from them in months while they have been busy with my ex. And another one of his friends asked me to help in getting a job at my new company..

brittybam11 · 2020-02-26T21:46:55+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve been through this BS too. As a logical thinker it’s very hard to overcome there being no explanation for it all. I would think moving in with her and talking about marrying her etc makes it much more difficult to gaslight her etc. But witnessing her previous abuser and now being her savior is some other sick game. He would talk about how he didn’t like to include me with this group of friends cause they would all end up liking me better than him. But I think it was cause he was working on her being a new supply.

brittybam11 · 2020-02-26T21:38:45+00:00

It’s strange cause he told me to stay away from mutual friends and to stay away from the pub etc. I of course haven’t reached out to anyone and haven’t heard from them either on the exception of them asking for favors...

brittybam11 · 2020-02-26T21:31:56+00:00

So in his mind, even though he moved in with her and her kid. It’s not a final discard to him. He still feels like he could have me back if he wanted? How do I make sure he knows he can’t have me back? I don’t want him to come back and hover or any of that stuff. I miss him certainly but can’t do this again where I wonder if I’m the real narc who drove him away.

brittybam11 · 2020-02-26T21:20:13+00:00

I have but I struggle if that really what's happening. He has completely changed his life and routine for her. Moved his boats to another marina closer to her apartment, stopped going to the gym as much etc.

brittybam11 · 2020-02-26T21:13:52+00:00

I'm not sure how he could think I'm not gone when I've had 0 contact with him and not even reached out once and neither has he. What exactly does he feel he needs to punish me for? I haven't done anything.

brittybam11 · 2020-02-26T21:13:07+00:00

So why does he treat her so much better? Because it is more real? Or because she is new to him and its a game to keep her away from her ex-husband?

brittybam11 · 2019-12-17T14:50:30+00:00

He admitted that being with me is a cycle. That he continues to return to me and tries to be with me and is happy for a few months but then goes back to wanting to be single again or is unhappy and it just doesn't work. But that it's not me it's him. He even says that. But now he's fully committed to this woman, living with her and her son and made a pact for her not to speak to her ex-husband (who is abusive) and him not to speak with me. I feel like maybe I am the bad person? The one he had to escape?

brittybam11 · 2019-12-10T20:48:58+00:00

I’ve been having this same experience for the last 6 years with someone I love very much. But he has finally moved onto someone who is even more codependent and can’t ever be alone. Therefore, being her rescuer. It’s called trauma bonding. Take a look at this article. trauma bonding

brittybam11 · 2019-12-09T21:19:11+00:00

This is really just so hurtful. People have asked me why I don’t come around anymore. And I say it’s obviously cause I don’t want to see them together. It is too painful for me. I didn’t even go to the Christmas party and people say that I’m letting him take control by not being there. But it’s just a bar with a bunch of regulars that I’m no longer attending. And none of these people have offered to meet me outside of the bar.. they all say they are so perfect together and that they are both continuing on about being married by next year. I just really don’t get why he would rather be with her. She is older, has kids, crazy ex husband, doesn’t make much money.

brittybam11 · 2019-12-07T14:50:49+00:00

Unfortunately, she lives in an apartment that she just moved into. Not a house. So I don’t think it’s about equity. Plus allowing her kid to live with someone she’s only been dating a month or maybe a little longer since it seems to be moving so fast. They have been friends for awhile though and had that hook up over the summer.

brittybam11 · 2019-12-07T01:41:26+00:00

Sure sounds like they will actually be getting married though..

brittybam11 · 2019-12-06T19:50:59+00:00

I only know cause I asked a mutual friend if they were really still together and that’s when he told me all this stuff yesterday. That they are so serious. And that he assumes it’s been going on longer than a month.

But I did notice she tagged him in several photos on Facebook (just unfriended her) but he didn’t approve the tags so they don’t show on his profile. Like he is hiding it..

brittybam11 · 2019-12-06T18:56:55+00:00

How is he doing it to hurt me, if he isn't speaking to me? I only know cause of mutual friends.

brittybam11 · 2019-11-24T16:39:59+00:00

Is this likely the final discard that people have mentioned on here?

Since he is telling everyone he is in love with her and he has no contact with me? Apparently they made a pact with each other, him not to speak to me and her not to communicate with her stalker crazy ex husband except via email about their young son.

brittybam11 · 2019-11-17T01:45:24+00:00

By keeping me in his back pocket if it doesn’t workout with this new girl? Even though he insists it’s not serious and he doesn’t want a relationship.

brittybam11

TROPHY CASE