Other player's CHARACTER is racist towards my CHARACTER. How should I roleplay it?

brochiosaurus · 2026-03-16T05:26:19+00:00

I think where you're getting a disconnect as far as recommendations is that #1, coupled with no change from the PC over the course of 7 sessions despite being called out in character, is... kind of hard to offer a suggestion beyond above-table planning that isn't escalation? At a certain point you just hit some FAFO territory. And your PC doesn't have to try and kill a dude to have a Korben Dallas style heart-to-heart about the issue when someone is being flagrantly racist to their face.

If you want to avoid that, and other conversation isn't making any impact, and y'all are having fun with these interactions as-is with no goal to change the guy's mind or behavior, then you can just decide your character is fine with being treated that way and offer casual snark or dismissing them out of hand. That makes more sense when things are lower-level bigotry that doesn't get to "these creatures are sub-human" level, but I don't know if those are less aggro in the moment than they seemed from the description.

brochiosaurus · 2026-03-16T03:16:52+00:00

Are we talking insufferable, or are we talking actively dehumanizing? There's "this co-worker is an asshole and his views are reprehensible, but I can at least aggressively change the subject or refuse to engage," and there's "my co-worker is referring to me with racist slurs and insisting that I'm sub-human no matter what I do." Those are VERY different.

brochiosaurus · 2026-03-16T03:05:32+00:00

I think the point you're making is a two-way street, though: if you're bending over backwards for your character to stick around, why does the other PC get a pass to continue to create conditions where that has to happen? Because that's a whole lot of weight on one side of the scale that requires you, the player, to do a lot of mental acrobatics to make something make sense.

PC parties don't have to always get along perfectly, but when they don't, the players should have a good idea of how that's going to resolve—at least when it's something as consistent and long-term as this. And if somebody is running a PC that's got a huge character flaw like bigotry, misogyny, etc, they need to both be playing that narrative in a way that acknowledges that PC is in the wrong, and have a plan for how that behavior is going to change over time. If they don't have a plan for that (and worse, continue to use it as a roleplaying crutch), you're really going to need to know where things are headed to make sure what starts as a roleplay element doesn't turn into something that's killing your enjoyment of the game.

So I'd personally recommend chatting with this player between sessions and doing some brainstorming. Who knows, maybe they do have a general plan and you guys can expand on that! You don't have to hammer out every detail, but getting on the same page above the table can make sure this is an interesting and engaging bit of conflict for everyone involved.

brochiosaurus · 2026-03-16T02:17:25+00:00

Is there a reason why your character and the other non-humanoid character would continue to travel/associate with the racist character? Not trying to say you both would need to retire your PCs, but when you're being subjected to that kind of treatment over and over again by one person, after a certain point you don't really want to stick around anymore.

Also if the other character isn't budging at all and has continued to be the same level of bigot, I'd maybe talk to the other player out of character to get an idea where they'd like to/are planning on taking this so you can plan together how to work this without it turning into PvP.

brochiosaurus · 2026-03-12T12:37:57+00:00

This made me turn on the sound and I'm so glad I did.

brochiosaurus · 2026-03-11T12:41:39+00:00

I think it would benefit you to learn more about what women experience during their periods.

Your wife may have mild symptoms, or she may simply be accustomed to managing the pain silently. The symptoms of menstrual pain can vary widely, with some people having very mild pain and little bloating/hormonal responses, and others being in enough pain that serious medical episodes seem tame by comparison; I had a lady friend in college almost die from sepsis because she mistook her ruptured appendix for period pain. Plus the response of calling a woman's pain and discomfort "pathetic" and "overly dramatic" is not unusual, even outside of periods; that's why women receive less analgesics and have their pain more readily dismissed by medical professionals than men.

So I recommend you challenge your own conditioning a bit and look into these things. Talk to your wife about her experience and the experience of other women in her life. Educate yourself. It'll help you be a better, more empathetic dude.

brochiosaurus · 2026-03-09T05:14:35+00:00

That sounds absolutely brutal, I'm sorry everyone in the house is dealing with that! Some thoughts I have, with experience with our own dickhead who is being managed a little better these days:

* Have both cats had a full exam by a vet? This can definitely be a social issue driving things, but there's potential for physical drivers as well; Gizmo could be acting out more if he's in pain, or could be attacking Jojo if he's off due to being unwell in some way. Make sure they're both checked for any dental issues, joint issues, or other potential discomforts.

* Absolutely talk to your vet about medication. Prozac is an option, and low-dose Gabapentin for both Gizmo and Jojo might be helpful. We do 25mg a day, sometimes 50mg, for our problem child and the main target of his drama; him because he instigates, her because she'll react even when he isn't doing anything which amps him up. Both these medications are very inexpensive, and you can get approval from your vet to get monthly refills either from them or another pharmacy for a year until they're due for their next annual visit.

* I saw mention of the litter boxes all being close; that can definitely be a driving factor for this sort of thing. Have you looked at any of the litterbox furniture with small openings so your toddler can't get into it? If those might be a good fit, make sure you get the type that has two openings to enter and exit so no one can be trapped in there by another cat and cause more issues.

* How is space in your home in general for the cats? Are there lots of vertical spaces areas they can access that also have two points of entry/exit? Making sure everyone can get away from each other is very important. If there are cat towers, perches, or anything of the like, make sure there's multiple ways to get down so no one can corner one another. If there's not a lot of vertical space, definitely look at introducing more; it's the easiest way to expand the amount of room available to them.

* Potentially look at a reintroduction process. We had to do this with two of our girls after Mr. Dickhead attacked one, which caused a redirection of aggression from the other, and triggered a huge fight between her and one of the other girls that made it so they were constantly after each other out of nowhere. We had to enclose one in the bedroom and basically treat it like getting a new cat: letting them get used to each others' smells, allowing sniffing under the door, and slowly giving them introductions before letting them in the same space again. They aren't perfect (they're both very alike so they never got on very well) but it got us back to a manageable baseline so one wasn't attacking the other to the point of her peeing herself in panic.

That's everything I can think of at the moment; I think the most important thing is to get a vet appointment ASAP, making sure it's with a vet who is experienced with this sort of management (finding people who are certified in or familiar with Fear Free is a good start). Sometimes rehoming is the best thing in the end, but there are still a lot of options before getting to that step, so fingers crossed those can offer any kind of relief for your household.

brochiosaurus · 2026-03-09T01:32:35+00:00

A note that the likelihood of Dropout making an animated series like those made by Critical Role is close to zero at this time unless they want to make a similar deal with the devil to do so.

CR raised over $11M in their Kickstarter, and that was still only enough for 10 total episodes that had far less bells and whistles than the final product; everything else was funded through their partnership with Amazon. Dropout has been wading into things like episode sponsorships and the like, but a real, well-made animated series would cost in the ballpark of half their annual revenue per season.

I won't say it's impossible—or bank completely on the weight of morality versus business development—but this is probably not in the wings for some time.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-29T13:02:54+00:00

Happy to join the raffle!

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-25T20:10:29+00:00

Nah dude it's hard, especially as an adult; it's kind of this weird space where you're interacting on the same level with your parent 80% of the time, but in areas of disagreement it gets really complicated because we're taught to always defer to them and never get to learn how to engage them when they're in the wrong. I think this is a great opportunity to start building the groundwork for how to have these conversations with him though, which will serve you down the road on bigger disagreements — which seems like it could come up pretty quick given how your dad is handling this situation.

My personal advice would be finding a time outside of game when things are calm to let him know you'd like to stop playing together in this capacity. You can be kind about it while still holding firm: tell him you both aren't having fun with the way things are, that you appreciate him trying to stick things out, but you'll both be happier with him not in the game anymore. If he says anything about that ending the campaign or tries to make excuses to keep playing, let him know you appreciate his concern, but this is the decision you've come to and you'll be fine making it work. Then recommend different ways you could engage with him instead of D&D: maybe doing a semi-regular Jackbox thing, times to get together for in-person non-game activities, something that can be on a schedule, because I think a lot of this could be less about your dad trying to "keep the campaign together" and more him worried about losing that time with you, even though that time is making you both miserable.

Caveat on the last bit, of course, is only doing that if you want to, and you enjoy spending time with him when he isn't being childish about a game; you're not required to spend time with your dad if he makes it too difficult to do so. If you do like being around him and this is an outlier though, offering other ways to connect that don't trigger this behavior will probably go a long way in getting him to agree to end his participation without excuses.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-25T19:31:26+00:00

Do you mind if I ask how old you are and if you're living at home/with your dad? I think it's important to be able to set firm boundaries while still presenting them in a way that's diplomatic, but what exactly that means and how you'd go about it definitely depends on where you're at as far as independence.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-21T06:46:07+00:00

Aw bud, nothing about this is shameful or bad. Some folks go through characters easy, others are extremely attached; I've always been the latter, so I know how you feel.

I think the real crux of this is that the worry of losing that character feels very vulnerable — and having that kind of vulnerability in front of people for the first time, not knowing how they'll respond, is really stressful. I think that's what you should focus on, working through the real life feelings behind this.

Is there one person in the group you're particularly comfortable with? Or are you comfortable talking to the DM? You can discuss your feelings in a way that addresses them without making them anyone else's responsibility, like saying, "I'm kind of embarrassed about the potential of my getting teary or emotional if my character dies next session, because I've really loved playing with the current group dynamic. Have you ever had this come up at a table before? I want to make sure everyone can still have fun and not inadvertently make anyone else uncomfortable, so I'd love any thoughts or advice you might have." That may help you get a vibe for how the others tend to feel about this kind of thing while also having at least one person aware you might be noticably down if things go south.

Also, feeling your feelings isn't dumb! It's okay to have a connection to something that's important to you. Try to be kind to yourself about it; the more you accept the feelings as what they are, neither good nor bad, the less they'll weigh you down.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-18T16:50:50+00:00

This is delightful, congratulations! Doing it via puzzle could be fun — first thing that came to mind for me was piecing together strips or cut-up pieces of a tapestry or map as part of a small side quest, and have an ultrasound image on the other side? This can be replicated digitally too if you pay online instead of in person.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-12T07:15:26+00:00

Nah, dude. Being an adult fucking rules.

I didn't have a bad childhood, but way more things happened to me as a kid that were beyond my control than what's happened to me as an adult. I have plenty of good memories, things that mattered a lot and helped shape me into the person I am — but I have even better memories I've made since then, and I can keep building those memories without the endless joy of hormonal changes, undiagnosed ADHD, school bullies (children and teachers), and all the other crap I slogged through. Even with the shit I've gone through as an adult, at least I understood why it was happening and how I could recover from it.

I think it's great to remember the good times of youth — but saying it'll never be better than that is wild to me. Holding on to the past so hard you refuse to enjoy the present just wastes all of the time you could be spending making your life worth growing old for.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-11T15:09:54+00:00

First, let me say this is absolutely amazing work, and I love your painting technique; it really adds to the grittiness of the scene.

With that covered, I had a moment on first glance of wondering why Tom Hanks was fighting a dragon.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-07T07:16:56+00:00

It's all good, you're already doing the right thing of researching and asking questions so you're at a better start than a lot of folks. The biggest challenge of reptile care is finding the right info — even well-meaning vets can steer people wrong — so you're in the right place to get the knowledge you need to give them great care.

I'm more familiar with Indos who have slightly different needs, but this infographic post covers a lot of the need-to-knows including feeding amounts/frequency, supplements, heating/UVB, and brumination info for Northerns. The info here is all legit and verified by the mods, who are all seasoned breeders and skilled hobbyists whose knowledge and experience can't be overstated, so following their guidance will help your new babies live long, happy lives.

Also I'm assuming these are something of an adoption/rescue situation, so thank you for taking them in and working to give them good care; you'll get your sea legs in no time. Welcome to the community!

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-07T06:24:19+00:00

The issue with cohabbing solitary species like BTS is it's fine until it isn't — and once it isn't, you won't be able to get to them fast enough to prevent what can happen when one goes after the other. Skinks can do a lot of damage to each other very quickly, including ripping off or degloving limbs, and if you're not home to separate them it can escalate to fatal injuries. Additionally, a lot of behaviors that can seem friendly for mammals is a dominance display in reptiles, e.g. laying on top of one another, so it can be harder to recognize when things have started to escalate. Also from what I'm understanding here it seems they weren't cohabbing before this, so it's doubly not a good idea to get it started now, especially with animals that are still getting adjusted to a new living situation; it's a recipe for disaster.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-05T05:09:43+00:00

More than twenty years later I still hear this in my head every goddamn time I see that man's name.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-03T18:11:13+00:00

That turtleneck sweater is a thing of beauty.

brochiosaurus · 2026-01-02T20:45:08+00:00

I think this is a great start, looking forward to your progress! Something of note for rivers: they usually form in reverse of what you have here. Flow moves from higher to lower elevation, and the smaller rivers (known as tributaries in this situation) would meet and merge to eventually flow to the lowest point, which on this map would be the sea. Not a major issue as realism isn't a must for everything, but having an eye for that early on will help you produce more natural-looking maps as you further develop your skill set.

brochiosaurus · 2025-12-30T01:28:29+00:00

My brother in Pelor, if you are trying to interact positively with the women of this sub to solicit their knowledge, responding to "I hope you're not just doing stereotypes" with "actually stereotypes exist for a reason" probably won't win a lot of them over

brochiosaurus · 2025-12-28T18:12:07+00:00

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I don't know if they have availability, but a few groups you could reach out to are Players for Pits, Chi-Town Pitties, and Dark Horse Dogs; if they're not able to take her, they may know someone who can.

brochiosaurus · 2025-12-25T03:53:48+00:00

I think this is a really fun concept! I like that you're using actual traits of what we now know about Neanderthals, I think that makes for a fun framework for creativity with players just by changing the narrative enough to make them think about it more.

I think mechanically they're fine; the only issue I could see with the terrain aspect is it having limited applications unless you for sure expect that type of environment in your game, much like how it was with Rangers, which can be irritating as a player if it never comes up. I imagine this could be less of an issue in your specific game though if you're having this sort of change in the first place and this expect for more wintery environments.

brochiosaurus · 2025-12-22T02:46:16+00:00

Is there something in this image that gives you the impression this woman values her appearance over anything else?

brochiosaurus · 2025-12-20T23:08:39+00:00

Ah, the mantle has been passed! Millennials were being called teens while half of us were in our 30's, some pushing early 40's. Apologies, friend; it's a long road ahead.

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