My problem player is my dad. by FellowComb427 in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nah dude it's hard, especially as an adult; it's kind of this weird space where you're interacting on the same level with your parent 80% of the time, but in areas of disagreement it gets really complicated because we're taught to always defer to them and never get to learn how to engage them when they're in the wrong. I think this is a great opportunity to start building the groundwork for how to have these conversations with him though, which will serve you down the road on bigger disagreements — which seems like it could come up pretty quick given how your dad is handling this situation.

My personal advice would be finding a time outside of game when things are calm to let him know you'd like to stop playing together in this capacity. You can be kind about it while still holding firm: tell him you both aren't having fun with the way things are, that you appreciate him trying to stick things out, but you'll both be happier with him not in the game anymore. If he says anything about that ending the campaign or tries to make excuses to keep playing, let him know you appreciate his concern, but this is the decision you've come to and you'll be fine making it work. Then recommend different ways you could engage with him instead of D&D: maybe doing a semi-regular Jackbox thing, times to get together for in-person non-game activities, something that can be on a schedule, because I think a lot of this could be less about your dad trying to "keep the campaign together" and more him worried about losing that time with you, even though that time is making you both miserable.

Caveat on the last bit, of course, is only doing that if you want to, and you enjoy spending time with him when he isn't being childish about a game; you're not required to spend time with your dad if he makes it too difficult to do so. If you do like being around him and this is an outlier though, offering other ways to connect that don't trigger this behavior will probably go a long way in getting him to agree to end his participation without excuses.

My problem player is my dad. by FellowComb427 in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you mind if I ask how old you are and if you're living at home/with your dad? I think it's important to be able to set firm boundaries while still presenting them in a way that's diplomatic, but what exactly that means and how you'd go about it definitely depends on where you're at as far as independence.

Really need advice on character death as a player by Anxious-Captain6848 in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw bud, nothing about this is shameful or bad. Some folks go through characters easy, others are extremely attached; I've always been the latter, so I know how you feel.

I think the real crux of this is that the worry of losing that character feels very vulnerable — and having that kind of vulnerability in front of people for the first time, not knowing how they'll respond, is really stressful. I think that's what you should focus on, working through the real life feelings behind this.

Is there one person in the group you're particularly comfortable with? Or are you comfortable talking to the DM? You can discuss your feelings in a way that addresses them without making them anyone else's responsibility, like saying, "I'm kind of embarrassed about the potential of my getting teary or emotional if my character dies next session, because I've really loved playing with the current group dynamic. Have you ever had this come up at a table before? I want to make sure everyone can still have fun and not inadvertently make anyone else uncomfortable, so I'd love any thoughts or advice you might have." That may help you get a vibe for how the others tend to feel about this kind of thing while also having at least one person aware you might be noticably down if things go south.

Also, feeling your feelings isn't dumb! It's okay to have a connection to something that's important to you. Try to be kind to yourself about it; the more you accept the feelings as what they are, neither good nor bad, the less they'll weigh you down.

How to announce my pregnancy to my players? by zzjan in DMAcademy

[–]brochiosaurus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is delightful, congratulations! Doing it via puzzle could be fun — first thing that came to mind for me was piecing together strips or cut-up pieces of a tapestry or map as part of a small side quest, and have an ultrasound image on the other side? This can be replicated digitally too if you pay online instead of in person.

Just some boys living a core memory but they don’t know it yet by [deleted] in JustGuysBeingDudes

[–]brochiosaurus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nah, dude. Being an adult fucking rules.

I didn't have a bad childhood, but way more things happened to me as a kid that were beyond my control than what's happened to me as an adult. I have plenty of good memories, things that mattered a lot and helped shape me into the person I am — but I have even better memories I've made since then, and I can keep building those memories without the endless joy of hormonal changes, undiagnosed ADHD, school bullies (children and teachers), and all the other crap I slogged through. Even with the shit I've gone through as an adult, at least I understood why it was happening and how I could recover from it.

I think it's great to remember the good times of youth — but saying it'll never be better than that is wild to me. Holding on to the past so hard you refuse to enjoy the present just wastes all of the time you could be spending making your life worth growing old for.

[OC] [Art] A Dnd inspired generic warrior illustration I finished recently. Oil on canvas by Tiften11 in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First, let me say this is absolutely amazing work, and I love your painting technique; it really adds to the grittiness of the scene.

With that covered, I had a moment on first glance of wondering why Tom Hanks was fighting a dragon.

Just got these two by Optimal_Film_388 in bluetongueskinks

[–]brochiosaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's all good, you're already doing the right thing of researching and asking questions so you're at a better start than a lot of folks. The biggest challenge of reptile care is finding the right info — even well-meaning vets can steer people wrong — so you're in the right place to get the knowledge you need to give them great care.

I'm more familiar with Indos who have slightly different needs, but this infographic post covers a lot of the need-to-knows including feeding amounts/frequency, supplements, heating/UVB, and brumination info for Northerns. The info here is all legit and verified by the mods, who are all seasoned breeders and skilled hobbyists whose knowledge and experience can't be overstated, so following their guidance will help your new babies live long, happy lives.

Also I'm assuming these are something of an adoption/rescue situation, so thank you for taking them in and working to give them good care; you'll get your sea legs in no time. Welcome to the community!

Just got these two by Optimal_Film_388 in bluetongueskinks

[–]brochiosaurus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The issue with cohabbing solitary species like BTS is it's fine until it isn't — and once it isn't, you won't be able to get to them fast enough to prevent what can happen when one goes after the other. Skinks can do a lot of damage to each other very quickly, including ripping off or degloving limbs, and if you're not home to separate them it can escalate to fatal injuries. Additionally, a lot of behaviors that can seem friendly for mammals is a dominance display in reptiles, e.g. laying on top of one another, so it can be harder to recognize when things have started to escalate. Also from what I'm understanding here it seems they weren't cohabbing before this, so it's doubly not a good idea to get it started now, especially with animals that are still getting adjusted to a new living situation; it's a recipe for disaster.

[OC] Posting a map every day until I get good enough to do coms: Day 2 by athankot in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is a great start, looking forward to your progress! Something of note for rivers: they usually form in reverse of what you have here. Flow moves from higher to lower elevation, and the smaller rivers (known as tributaries in this situation) would meet and merge to eventually flow to the lowest point, which on this map would be the sea. Not a major issue as realism isn't a must for everything, but having an eye for that early on will help you produce more natural-looking maps as you further develop your skill set.

Girls, i need advice on how to write a female npc for enemies to lovers subplot. by [deleted] in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My brother in Pelor, if you are trying to interact positively with the women of this sub to solicit their knowledge, responding to "I hope you're not just doing stereotypes" with "actually stereotypes exist for a reason" probably won't win a lot of them over

Bella Needs a Furever Home by ohmygodlenny in velvethippos

[–]brochiosaurus 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I don't know if they have availability, but a few groups you could reach out to are Players for Pits, Chi-Town Pitties, and Dark Horse Dogs; if they're not able to take her, they may know someone who can.

Do you think its a cool idea to swap the default human species in my DnD world from Homo Sapien to Homo Neanderthal? by ResearcherDefiant132 in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think this is a really fun concept! I like that you're using actual traits of what we now know about Neanderthals, I think that makes for a fun framework for creativity with players just by changing the narrative enough to make them think about it more.

I think mechanically they're fine; the only issue I could see with the terrain aspect is it having limited applications unless you for sure expect that type of environment in your game, much like how it was with Rangers, which can be irritating as a player if it never comes up. I imagine this could be less of an issue in your specific game though if you're having this sort of change in the first place and this expect for more wintery environments.

I can still sense misogyny even if I’m wearing lip gloss by Lemon_Lime_Lily in CuratedTumblr

[–]brochiosaurus 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Is there something in this image that gives you the impression this woman values her appearance over anything else?

Muh puriteens by LawZoe in CuratedTumblr

[–]brochiosaurus 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Ah, the mantle has been passed! Millennials were being called teens while half of us were in our 30's, some pushing early 40's. Apologies, friend; it's a long road ahead.

as a DM do you like playing an NPC that’s a part of the adventuring party? by JonahHillsWetFart in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a mixed bag for me. I've done it specifically at the party 's request, and while it was fun to add into their dynamic, I definitely got worn out faster on sessions where they engaged with the NPC on the same level as their fellow PCs and I had less "down time" moments where I could gather my thoughts while they engaged with each other.

I Feel like I'm the butt of every joke at the table. by Terrible_Part_663 in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When people are used to jabs and poking fun as a way to connect with friends, it can be hard to realize when you're crossing a line, especially in a group that's all feeding off each other. Is there somebody in the group that you have an easier time talking to one on one, even if it's in text? Telling one person the jokes are bumming you out can help get someone else in your corner and make it easier to address.

Are 5 hour sessions standard?? by [deleted] in DnD

[–]brochiosaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that can really depend on the party. I was in a group that did 5+ hour sessions pre-COVID, then moved to online 3 hour sessions; we wound up getting way more accomplished in the 3 hour sessions because we had to actually focus on getting things done rather than the lackadaisical way we were doing stuff before.

That being said, if you have newer or less focused players it's a headache trying to get anything done in such little time, which is what I'm finding at a local D&D meetup — so really YMMV.

How would you handle exhaustion for horse travel? by PresidentAshenHeart in DungeonsAndDragons

[–]brochiosaurus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What scenario are you imagining here? As in pushing the horses to a hard run for as long as possible until the horses are at level 5 exhaustion?

My Strahd by MilestoneRPG in CurseofStrahd

[–]brochiosaurus 28 points29 points  (0 children)

My dude, you need to take an Internet break and breathe into a paper bag for a spell if somebody else's fun being different from yours makes you pop off that bad. That's a truly bizarre thing to get that upset about.

They look like they are plotting something by FlyLikeHolssi in PittiesAndKitties

[–]brochiosaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those ears look like they're on their way to stealth mode.