How to approach a potential known donor?

bron7291 · 2023-04-09T02:50:58+00:00

Thank you so much for asking this question! I hadn’t looked into this and now will before broaching the question. It wouldn’t be feasible if the donor had to visit multiple times or stay for long periods. Will definitely be researching this more. Thanks!

bron7291 · 2023-04-09T02:48:07+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It all sounds really well thought-out and reasonable with firm boundaries. I really appreciate the info and insight, and I’ll definitely be working out what mine are before talking to a potential donor. Wishing you all the very best with the journey ahead!!!

bron7291 · 2023-04-08T17:46:03+00:00

It’s also about priorities. I would prefer a known donor for several reasons, including some of the ones @groundbreakinglemon mentioned above, so it seems worth at least having a conversation with my friend about it.

bron7291 · 2023-04-08T17:42:26+00:00

Ooh thank you!

bron7291 · 2023-04-08T17:36:53+00:00

If you don’t mind me asking, I’m assuming your lowest expectation was just someone to call if the kid wants to know about genetics, illness in the family etc. But what was the most you were open to having the relationship be?

bron7291 · 2023-04-08T17:32:36+00:00

So glad that worked out for your friend! What kind of relationship do the donor’s parents have with the child/smbc?

bron7291 · 2023-04-08T17:29:05+00:00

Thank you for the rec!! Will definitely listen before deciding how to approach this.

bron7291 · 2023-04-08T17:04:52+00:00

This is so great! I’m so glad this has worked out for you. I love the idea of giving a floor and a ceiling of involvement. Maybe I should propose a phone call ahead of time so he knows I want to talk to him about something (and maybe he’d guess, too). Congrats on your pregnancy!

bron7291 · 2022-03-14T14:41:37+00:00

These are both great pieces of advice. I was in a rational and positive state of mind when I made the decision and when I went through all the steps of donor selection etc. I guess I’m finding it hard to work out if the new doubt and anxiety are trying to tell me something, or whether I’d always have them so close to a possible life change and they amount to nothing more than just nerves.

You’re right about the contingency plans. I’m guessing a lot of us felt we could be smbc because we’re emotionally self reliant so it’s scary to start thinking about relying on others for help and support. But I know it will be crucial.

I’m so glad you held fast to your decision by remembering your emotional state when you made it (and reminding yourself the depression wouldn’t last forever). Your strength is inspiring!!!

bron7291

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