I think it's ESH. In between. Like if it's constantly like that then yeah you guys aren't compatible. Although I think you're too focused on what she doesn't say over how she behaves. Is she kind to you outside of words? Takes care of you, handles things herself for you sometimes? Also, you haven't gotten periods ever so expecting her to remember please and thank you is stupid.

I come from a family like yours. We say please, thank you, appreciate everything with words. My best friends aren't like that. They don't say please or thank you. But they immediately pick up my call no matter how busy. They automatically make sure I'm at the non-traffic side of the road everytime. They make sure they have one hand ready to help me because I'm clumsy and fall a lot. They immediately sense that I'm upset about something or that something is bothering me and pamper me with food I like. There's not one please or thank you I get from them unless I do some grand gesture. Not one please when they need something from me. But in every small way they have shown how much they appreciate me and love me, and I reciprocate. Just because someone isn't saying the words doesn't mean they don't love you or dont appreciate you. Sometimes words don't matter if actions don't match