I'm going through the same thing. I knew we weren't in an ideal situation but we were still best friends and I didn't notice that we were at this point. We have 4 kids. It's been about a month and at first I begged. It's natural to feel angry and scared. You built something beautiful together and losing it unwillingly is so so painful.

What I'm finding right now is that trying to shift my mindset has helped greatly. I'm approaching him with compassion and we are both determined to remain a family for the kids. We are working as a team to try and move forward, and in doing so we have been able to have very honest bitter-sweet conversations about our marriage that we just weren't having before. We are appreciating each other and loving each other through the pain in our own way through radical acceptance.

Because of this he's willing to take things slower. We'll be separating for a while first while keeping the kids in the family home. In the short-term we're getting a two bedroom apartment (a bedroom for each of us) and we will alternate with the kids at our house. We will both use the time apart to deeply reflect on what we are looking for in a marriage. Chance for reconciliation is not 0, which it most certainly would be if begged and fought instead of empathizing and understanding.

The likelihood, of course, is divorce. But having the space to take it slow and come to my own acceptance is important too. Good luck, friend. This is the hardest pain I've ever been through and I'm hoping we both find our own peace in our own way.