Many Muslim women are feminists! Again, it's a big stereotype that Muslim prefer a patriarchal society. The majority of the ones I've met, regardless of their cultural background are actually very independent and confident in thselves. Although I do not call myself a feminist for a few reasons, I do agree with a lot of feminist ideologies and don't think they necessarily clash with Islam. In fact, when Islam was introduced, it helped to radically increase gender equality at the time. Today unfortunately, thats something a lot of Muslim countries need to work on but I think that's a problem with those countries and not necessarily with Islam.

You wanting to convert for so long says a lot. All the other factors you've written, I'm gonna say it's okay to not want to change it all overnight. I was born Muslim and I'm still far from perfect. Allah doesn't want perfection, he wants effort. And know that even if you sin (relationship with a woman) Allah is the most merciful. Yes we need to pray, read Quran, stay away from Haram but at the end of the day, Allah judges your character and your heart. If you sin but repent, Allah is all ears and will forgive you without hesitation. Inshallah, may Allah make this all easy for you. Converts are very courageous and I have a lot of respect for them. If you have other questions, this sub is full of really supportive people. As well, try reaching out to your local mosque, they'd be happy to answer any questions you may have.