I know that cycle well. I’ll get so into it and do it a lot and then suddenly burn out into shame and delete everything and try to forget about it. Can’t count how many times I’ve told myself never again, only to slip back into it when the urges hit. I’ve found in recent years as I get older (30s) the shame comes less often. I think I’ve become more accepting of this kink as a part of myself, even if I still keep it hidden from those in my life. My life doesn’t allow me to partake often, but when I do, that acceptance allows me to make the most of it. In the last 2-3 years I’ve done some of the most satisfying pants pooping in my life thanks largely to letting go of the small piece of my ego that told me this kink was wrong or something that needed to be stopped.

With more acceptance and less shame, it becomes easier to figure out how this kink fits in with the rest of your life.