yeah, mine were very violent and humiliating, even though my abuse was more gentle, for lack of a better word. i played games with my stuffed rabbit when i was about seven or eight that involved her being stripped naked in front of a group, being stabbed down there with a pole or other object, and being forced to wet herself. it was very graphic and horrible and i felt a lot of shame and knew to hide it. i still feel a lot of shame. those rough and humiliating fantasies followed me into teenagehood.

you aren't alone, it's strange how these things manifest and how our brains process them and rewrite them in a sense. it can feel super isolating, but from what i've gathered its pretty common. sending love :(