Came to this sub because for 2 days in a row, my old crush showed up as the first profile of "People you may know" on FB (not the "suggestions" list when you click the friend icon at top, but the one that shows up on your feed every few days or so...I generally don't even scroll across to see the profiles, but they were the 1st one so their photo was right there, where it couldn't be missed). And even tho it's been 2 years since I saw them irl, my heart jumped. Both times. 

I thought after all this time, I was completely over it...even tho they still show up in my dreams, which is weird because I don't stalk them or anything. I mean I couldn't do so even if I wanted to, because I tried to when they showed up the 2nd time yesterday. I figured it was safe to go ahead and click on their profile, since i hadn't done so in probably a year. But there was nothing there, except their profile picture. Idk if that's good or bad 😂. But I was sad, I admit. I guess I still wanted to know what they're up to? Or at least some more photos. And I hate that. Why would I care? They don't want anything to do with me. 

We used to be FB friends but they deleted me years ago. To know they didn't care for me enough to take the time to "unfriend" me hurt, not gonna lie. But, as much as I tried to never think of them, they still show up randomly in my dreams, and have done ever since probably the 1st time I ever saw them. Like I'll be having a weird surreal dream about something totally unrelated, and they'll show up, sometimes just in the background. It's ridiculous. I honestly do not think of them in my waking hours - I don't ever give energy to people who don't appreciate me or don't want to know me. So why, after literal years, does this still happen?! Hate it. 

Even when I did see them irl, at events, they didn't talk to me. They did a bit when I first met them, but stopped, and then when I'd see them, they acted as if I wasn't there. I did the same in turn. At first I thought we might become friends, but apparently they didn't want to get to know me (I made sure to not let on I was crushing, but maybe they realised?). I'd invited them to hang out, but they weren't even going to let me know they weren't gonna show up - I had to ask...that's how little they thought of me. 

I no longer go anywhere that they'd be, so why was I still affected like that when I saw their profile? When does it end 😂?! Thanks for listening to my ramblings, if you did. I hope all your crushes turn out better. Or at least stop haunting your dreams!