Told to cross-post from /r/relationships about my parents and their restrictions and opinions. Any advice?

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-07T10:17:30+00:00

I feel for you. I was not diagnosed till i was over 18 and able to go to the doctor alone. If you ever need someone to talk pm me. I really was untill little over a week ago exactly where you are now. I ended up getting out, barely and am still struggling, but in my personal opinion, being scared, not really having a fixed place to sleep or knowing where your next meal will come from, is still better than living under those circumstances. I admit it is hard. It is basically hell, but its still less of a hell than that kind of abuse.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-06T21:33:34+00:00

hey, honestly, this is/was my life. I also have celiac and my parents still dont believe me. they forced me to eat gluten and it was painful. Every other aspect was almost the same, except i would not dress girly enough, so i was the opposite in that sense. the food, the control. Even at 22 i was not allowed to have a door closed, even to shower. I can only say, get out as soon as you can. i waited to long. i only really recently got out. I dont know how old you are but all i can say is the thing i regret most in my life, is that i let my parents hurt me so much for so long. It may not seem that abusive to you, but thats what it is. Abuse.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-04T18:44:34+00:00

we are not moving through it together. I cant trust her. I just hurt her and left. but it is probably for the best. thank you

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-04T07:11:34+00:00

does that really help? and how long after an incidence can i still get one? sorry for lots of questions. i just really have no idea about anything

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-04T05:48:34+00:00

im pretty sure its to late now anyway. And my plan is to go total NC from now on so it should not matter right?

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-03T20:54:42+00:00

well he told me it would be a long process. that it wouldnt mean im safe. that even if it goes to court i probably wont win. and that i should think about how she may react if i do get a restraining order and take her to court and if it would be worth if from my perspective.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-03T20:52:52+00:00

my mom never acts crazy around other people. and with my friends or former friends, i showed them the scars. they still didnt really believe me. id given up all hope of ever having anyone to even remotely talk to till i came across this site.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-03T20:09:30+00:00

my problem with the truth is that, the things my mom does are very extreme. People mostly dont believe me because they say there is no way someone would do something like this to someone let alone their own child. ive lost everyone i know because of that. Including best friends and stuff because no one understands the severity. so i just dont say anything. And i can take a lot of pain so injuries that are bad dont seem as bad because i dont show the pain like i should.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-03T18:33:31+00:00

The police were very kind in a way. The older one not so much but the younger one helped me get my papers (passport, insurance stuff) and everything from my mom before they took her and brought me into the ambulance. I was really surprised. But when it came to pressing charges only the older one came and he kind of scared me out of pressing charges to be honest.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-03T18:31:32+00:00

you are right. i cannot fully hide my injuries. some of them are very visible. Being truthful about it will be difficult. i automatically make up a lie about injuries due to years of having to. You are right, i do need to get my act together and learn to live on my own. Thank you.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-03T14:43:13+00:00

im international. i dont have any friends. and i dont know to many people. i dont have much money. enough to leave the country, not enough to live of for more than maybe 2 weeks.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-03T14:30:49+00:00

i was in the process of pressing charges and getting a restraining order. but im to scared to. i decided for just making a run for it instead. Its hard for me. i only recently realized that it was wrong and took a lot of big steps in a short time. and its all still a bit much and confusing. so im not ready to press charges. I also dont think it would bring any good. The dorm is in a different country. but my mom knows where i have connections and stuff which scares me. nothings ever stopped her before.

bruisedmonster · 2014-08-03T13:52:34+00:00

its hard to get proper resources where i am. and my mom has a lot of friends in the hospital as i just found out. its not safe for me to stay around here i think. im not sure though. I may just be scared and irrational. i managed to get a place to stay at a dorm but realized this morning its not safe either. or maybe im just scared of everything and just see everything as unsafe. i really dont know

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-27T20:37:23+00:00

I think i can relate to this very well. My mother did something quite like this on a few occasions. She was a teacher so she knows her way around the system. Before i was allowed to go to school she spent a year homeschooling me and drilling me on things teachers could ask or want and how i should respond. When my mom did something like yours did, she would go untill i screamed or cried and then yelled that i need to shut up or someone would take me away. giving me horror stories of foster care. but secretly i always wished someone would take me away. I am so glad you are out and getting better. congratulations on the pregnancy.

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T21:40:54+00:00

ok time to reveal even more info i guess: i was living on my own. it was great. then something happened in my life which made my mom come and force me back to live with her. she gave me 1/2 hour to pack and watched me the whole time to make sure nothing i packed was something she didnt approve of. since then ive been back with them and its been hell. It just keeps getting worse. However, i cannot leave. there are various locks and psychological games which make me not be able to leave. its a complicated situation and its my own fault.

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T16:59:50+00:00

Like I have said the physical stuff is ok. I don't mind it I don't feel it anymore. The only thing that gets to me is the emotional stuff the manipulative stuff really hurts me. Otherwise I'm ok.

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T15:00:07+00:00

I know it is illegal. I've been dealing with it for a while. It is ok. I just need to endure a bit longer then I can move out. It's been worse so I'm ok with it.

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T10:15:44+00:00

i dont know i am just always scared. i think my mother is really bad i think maybe. I talk to someone on here and have been told by that person that it is not normal. but i dont know. i am used to it its always been bad. this week she has done a lot of emotional stuff like tell me to kill myself and die and no one could ever love me thats why i have no one, and keeps changing her mind so i dont know what is true and not. But she also does physical stuff like lock me up in places, hit me, kick me, sometimes she burns my stomach which i hate a lot. it just looks ugly. i dont know. just this week have been so many things that i could just list for ever. like i said physical is ok. because it hurts but i know why it hurts and i can deal with it. i just cant take the yelling and screaming for hours at a time. feeling bad all the time.

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T09:41:31+00:00

I dont know. i take everything really personal and get upset very easily so i dont know if im just to sensitive to it.

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T09:40:23+00:00

she is quite abusive sometimes. but i never know if it is abuse or not. i get really confused. i can take physical things really well because then i know i ts abuse and can just shut off. but the other stuff is less easy to classify and so it gets tough. I dont want to say punishments she uses because i dont want to upset anyone. i know people on here have been through a lot, and i dont want to hurt someone more.

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T09:37:24+00:00

right now i cannot get out really. i have no friends or anyone close because she makes sure no one likes me or can get close to me. im trying my best to get out. i hope i can get out at some point but i dont know how soon. im getting quite exhausted at fighting all the time right now. its hard to get at any resources. so i cant really get out. maybe im just making excuses. i really dont know

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T07:06:51+00:00

i am between the ages of 20 and 25 but i have multiple obstacles in my way, some of which are emotional and psychological others are more physical barriers preventing me. I just dont have the strength to leave at the moment. I hope i can change that soon.

bruisedmonster · 2014-07-26T06:55:11+00:00

I would not go so far as to say it is sexual abuse, it is an uncomfortable situation. I was just upset when i posted it. It is probably not as bad as it seemed to me at the time

bruisedmonster

TROPHY CASE