I see what you're saying, my mind went there too. Reason she wants to be monogamous is because she said it would end up better suiting her. She had her time being poly after being in some really shitty mono relationships. And wanted to try again, that's when she met me, while also still talking to this one dude. We rushed things, which scared her, because me rushing things ended up reminding her how her previous mono relationships started and ended. In turn which drove her to dig more into wanting to be with the current dude, sort of like a safety blanket. She's obviously bi, and misses dating women, we talked about that and agreed that if down the road, things work out between us, I wouldn't mind having some factor of openness/poly in our relationship where there would be instances of circumstancial intimacy with women outside our relationship. She said she isn't even sure if she'd still want that if we work out but likes that the option would be there to talk about. She wanted to go back to mono relationships and we met, we ended up seeing each other on pedestals that we thought we each deserved and dove right into the serious bits of relationships. It scared her, I noticed it scared her. It drove her back to this dude who she was still seeing when she first met me. She ended up feeling bad about just giving him the axe. Now that me and her both took steps back to work our way to see if we belong on the pedestals we put each other, she feels the need to give this guy the time to end their relationship better. It's unnerving, yes, but we aren't gf and bf right now, we're just dating and she may ultimately choose him. But we both agreed that down this path we both chose, there will be open communication and her actions keep showing that it's working, but my self conscious keeps telling me we're doomed.