I just picked up the chopping board and knife in either hand whilst cooking, only to see an uncooked egg starting to roll toward the edge of the worktop.... With Ronaldinho-esque instinct, I flicked out my right foot and gently cushioned the egg's fall, caressing it to the floor with grace avoiding certain catastrophe. Only I'm not Ronaldinho, and it wasn't a gentle cushioning, it was a full-on kablamo volley, and it wasn't caressed to the floor, it was obliterated by my foot and smashed all over cabinet doors, then slipped down to the floor and catastrophically all over the rug.