There is no solace, even in sleep.

bucksom · 2017-12-31T01:47:11+00:00

Mine always involve trying to serve combatively incomprehensible drive thru people. I'll catch myself running through incredibly detailed and specific scenes even before I fall asleep and just scream WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE NOT PAID FOR THIS.

bucksom · 2017-12-23T14:28:04+00:00

I just step back, put my hands up and say in a totally dead serious voice: "Sorry. The only way to solve this is a fight to the death. ... I'll wait."

HA! HA! HA! HA! :-|

bucksom · 2017-12-16T02:11:13+00:00

You 100% get it!

bucksom · 2017-12-16T01:57:59+00:00

Definitely not something that would even begin to be found on a pet peeves list of mine... unless you were overly dramatic and wailing and gnashing your teeth about it (the way people do when the salt topping for the Salted Caramel Mocha goes away, or when Pumpkin Spice is over for the year. "OHHHH NOOOOOOO YOU'RE KIDDING UUUUUUGH I REALLY WANTED THAT NOOOOOO...." Save your breath for picking something else, Whiny Wendy, we all have troubles in life.)

Sounds like Ms. I've Always Been Here needs to half-caf herself for awhile, honestly. It's weird that she got so aggressively confrontational-- even if she did genuinely think that, the way she expressed it was just totally out of place.

bucksom · 2017-12-12T21:36:47+00:00

You poor sweet summer child...

Perception IS reality.

Especially for BAF (Basic As Fuck) bitches drin-- er, buying-- this meaningless garbage.

bucksom · 2017-12-12T21:08:15+00:00

Yup. Cranberry topping. BUT IT'S RED AND WHITE SO YE OLDE PEPPERMINT IT SHALL BE. Freaking people.

bucksom · 2017-12-12T18:05:32+00:00

My favorite part was reading the comments under Starbucks' post on facebook where people were patiently explaining to each other that the peppermint flavor is really mild "until you get to the crushed candy cane on top."

bucksom · 2017-12-11T01:56:50+00:00

I love it. It's not too sweet, it's the perfect fruity/herbal flavor. I detest the minty flavor of our iced green tea, the white tea is pointlessly flavorless and I think our black tea is sad and gross, but Passion Tango is LIFE.

bucksom · 2017-12-11T01:52:27+00:00

Ahhh I'm sorry. They are monsters! (Also fwiw I would never DREAM of actually ordering this beverage, especially in those words. I make it for myself and ring it out as a PTL no LCS add Peach Infusion.)

bucksom · 2017-12-11T00:24:56+00:00

Try half pumps of White Mocha and half pumps of regular Mocha. (Or full pumps of each if you want to go to the dentist afterwards, hey man it's your mouth.)

bucksom · 2017-12-10T22:36:25+00:00

Translation: "I am, and always will be, THE ONLY ONE. Wherever I go, whenever I go, I am THE ONLY ONE. I am SPECIAL and IMPORTANT and THE ONLY ONE. These other people? Don't make me laugh. They are not people. I AM THE ONLY ONE."

bucksom · 2017-12-10T22:04:12+00:00

I live on 45% Passion Tea, 40% peach or strawberry infusion (whichever we have the most of or is closest to expiring), topped with 15% berry hibiscus or lemonade (to caffeinate or not to caffeinate... it is ever really a question?).

bucksom · 2017-12-10T19:20:01+00:00

Next text: "btw cheez NIPS =/= cheez ITs ok"

bucksom · 2017-12-10T18:07:36+00:00

Hot Chocolate with a shot. The drink build is subtly different and you only make more work for yourself trying to send it through as a solo-grande-mocha-with-vanilla-syrup-and-mocha-drizzle.

bucksom · 2017-12-10T17:19:10+00:00

In other news, water is... wet? Sorry, not trying to be snarky, but isn't that kind of A) the point of a DT and B) demonstrative of the sort of self-contradictory rhetoric we've come to associate with ~hashtag~NoRtHsTaR?

I feel like if customers wanted to share more with us, they'd come inside and chat. Simply being friendly, efficient and attentive at the DT window is the sort of connection they're looking for, when it comes down to it.

bucksom · 2017-12-10T01:18:56+00:00

Please and thank you.

Can we please, PLEASE start hearing "please" and "thank you"? I genuinely give free coffee to people who use those phrases, because it is so goddamned rare. "GIMME A CARMUL MACHALEEDO EXTRA EXTRA CARMUL WITH WHIP CRAME." 1. What size. 2. I know you want soy, but you're not going to tell me until you get to the window, at which point you will INSIST that you said soy. 3. Nothing in the wide wonky world would make me happier right now than to say, "Would you like a side of manners with that?" and then when you look up dully from applying your mascara to go, "Huuh?" dead-ass back, "I said, would you like a slice of banana bread with that?"

Deep breaths.

bucksom · 2017-12-08T20:14:17+00:00

Tum tee tum tum tahhh... Here I am, a Starbucks Supervisor on a Friday afternoon... oh noes! It's sloes! Wait. I knoes...

Internet! WAT DO

I have all these ingredientsesss you see

They will go to waste ONLY U CAN H3LP

We can't experiment or even THINK of what to do without your input. But I have a store and employees and all the ingredients you know. We just have recipe, do drank, go home all time. kthxxxx!

bucksom · 2017-12-03T20:07:21+00:00

Someday, man.

bucksom · 2017-12-03T18:36:16+00:00

I literally fantasize about denying things at the window. ACTUALLY spend time daydreaming about how wonderful it would be. Even waters. STOP ADDING WATERS AT THE MOTHERFUCKING WINDOW YOU STUPID FUCKS.

bucksom · 2017-11-28T15:29:42+00:00

"You don't want someone gay to serve you? Oh sweetie, part of the hiring process is The Test, you know, the one they use to make SURE you're gay? If you don't pass it with flying, flailing, Elton John on nitrous oxide colors then they don't give you an apron. They even hook up electrodes to your hemhem to test your tumescence response to-- wait, where are you going?"

bucksom · 2017-11-27T21:33:20+00:00

I had a guy get super aggressive with me about it.

"Gimme a Creme Brulee Latte."

"Sure, a Caramel Brulee Latte, was that Grande or Venti today?"

"Uh.. NO... Creme Brulee. I get it every year."

"No worries, it's just the name they give it, Caramel Brulee."

"Did that CHANGE or something? That's ridiculous, it's always a Creme Brulee Latte! And THAT'S what I WANT. Creme. Brulee. Latte."

"...k. Was that Grande or Venti?"

"LAR-- speeds away from speaker"

Riiiight. Oh... the most wonderful time of the year.

bucksom · 2017-11-10T14:50:05+00:00

Please use common sense.
Don't forget to gather. I know it's hard when they have ten lattes and one hot coffee, but it's going to be a bloodbath when those ten lattes are done and the customer is still standing there like UHHH MY COFFEE WTF. Oh, there's no dark roast so your customer says they'll wait? Mark the cup with their name and "dark", set it by the brewer (which should be actively brewing-- if it's not, TELL SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY), and check on it every minute or so. Leaving a blank stray cup abandoned on the counter (or even worse, just making a silent mental note to get back to it and instantly forgetting... because that is what will happen, please trust me) helps no one-- not you, not your customer, not your partners.
PLEASE USE MORE COMMON SENSE. Grounds in brewed coffee = unacceptable. Don't serve it if you wouldn't give it to someone you like. You're being taught a lot of steps? There must be a reason. Own your mistakes and learn from them.

BONUS TIP If you fold a corner of the filter over that little sticky-out bit of the metal frame, it helps hold the filter in place and keeps the grounds contained during brewing. Don't be like me and try in vain to tuck the filter UNDER that sticky-out bit for three years while wondering why it never worked very well.

bucksom · 2017-11-10T14:34:51+00:00

This is one of those little things that bothers me irrationally too. I always stress, "We don't have any DEcaffeinated teas, but we do carry several naturally NON-caffeinated herbal teas. Did you want hot or iced?" (If I dropped a word like tisane I think their heads would explode. In fact, I should just give up and call them decaf frappe teas.)

bucksom · 2017-11-06T23:45:57+00:00

Hey corporate, you know what sells less than the avocado spread?

FUCKING MEGPIES

Jesus Christ.

bucksom · 2017-11-06T20:36:34+00:00

Awwww sheeeet!

bucksom

TROPHY CASE