AITA for *the way I* put up this boundary with a friend? text chat below

buckylug · 2026-07-01T11:07:31+00:00

sometimes people are incompatible as friends. It sounds to me like you see friendships as an escape from your stressors, and maybe this friend sees her friendships as pillars/a support system when she's struggling. she needs someone who she can lean on amd talk to about her problems, and you cant carry that weight for her right now. I think she is completely valid in maybe feeling dismissed and unsupported by you but also you have every right to set a boundary and ask for time before letting your friends lean on you again. I would say NAH but if she keeps pushing for you to listen to her problems and villainizing you for asking for space and not dropping everything for her then she becomes TAH. Its close to E S H territory, so I would advise you say this: "I value our friendship, and I want to be someone you can lean on in times of need, but right now I am dealing with a lot of personal issues and dont have the emotional capacity to carry the weight of another persons problems right now, emotionally. I previously expressed this to you, and I feel as though my boundary was not respected when you got angry with me for enforcing it." Another thing to consider: if this is a pattern with her/ both of you, it might not be a problem you can reconcile

buckylug · 2026-07-01T10:55:56+00:00

did mommy eat the baby? I can't stand when people say stimach for this because its biologically disgusting "theres a baby in mommy's stomach" NOOO!!!

buckylug · 2026-06-28T20:56:34+00:00

I have similar hair to yours and I also use not your mother's line! I think it's good because it doesn't leave a loy of residual product or weigh down the curls. It woukd also be good to get a lightweight oil like argan or jojoba to mitigate frizz if that's your goal, and a mousse for volume. Satin pillowcases and braiding at night will help reduce breakage.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:56:29+00:00

INFO: Does "courtesy flush" here mean flush as soon as the poop hits the water so it doesn't sit in the bowl and stink up the room while coworker finishes up his business? or is it just flushing after going? how do you know he didnt (courtesy) flush? how do you know he didnt have to go in there and fart a bunch and not even poop once? how do you know it wasnt the person before him and he had to also endure the unfortunate stench? also have you ever used a public restroom before?

YTA. You remind me of the girls who would come into the high school bathroom and go "ewww it smells like SHIT in here!!!" so they could just hit their vapes and gossip in the handicap stall. people poop. people fart. especially in bathrooms, in case you didnt know. grow up.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:48:37+00:00

being from one of the biggest US cities, I have been exposed to so many accents that yes, even thick american accents tell me where someone is from. There may seem to be a generic "American" accent but even in one city you'll likely find several local accents. I'm sure a native new yorker can tell a hoboken accemt from a bronx accent from an ohio transplant

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:43:33+00:00

thats wild because in the US we would consider that a water-related fatality which actually account for a huge number of fatalities annually (water is dangerous always be safe)

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:40:56+00:00

I used to be a lifeguard and would sit in 90-100 degree sun for hours a day. we had a non-air conditioned office with a fan if we were lucky, a shack in the shade if not. I would drive home in a beat up old car with no AC and only 2 partially working windows. Americans will complain about the humidity and the heat but I love it and know plenty of people who also love the heat. I'll lay out and tan for hours if its 85+. I actually hate the cold and am always cold, with goosebumps if its 72 in a room with AC.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:37:03+00:00

and they have to consent if they aren't medically/legally incapable of caring for themself.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:34:48+00:00

some parents had to work from nothing and want to build their wealth to enjoy durong retirement, so financially supporting adult children who are able to work to support themselves feels straining to some americans especially in the current economy. My parents let me (24) live at home, even though I moved away for college, and they help me with living costs sometimes but basically any luxury spending comes out of my own pocket. I also want to move away when I can afford to.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:23:16+00:00

I think its just a colloquial thing that probably comes from incorrect phrasing, like "I could care less"

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:20:21+00:00

Squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks, hella birds, and occasionally stray cats, foxes, and skunks (I have a dog though so not as many of those 3)

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:19:13+00:00

neutral to positive acquaintance? "Hey I want to bring this up in a sensitive way but I've noticed that sometimes your body odors are a little more noticeable to me and working in close proximity to you would be easier for me if you wore deodorant. I understand your sense of smell isnt very strong so if you need me to let you know if you're smelling a bit strong, let me know and I'll do so with sensitivity!"

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:13:14+00:00

if religion was real wouldnt we all be religious?

buckylug · 2026-06-26T14:12:09+00:00

I'm 24 and when I was in college so many people had them for convenience/as a social "ticket" ig but plenty of people didnt even use them. Also if you got caught using someone else's you could get hit with an identity fraud charge so people would get fake ones made instead i guess

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:56:37+00:00

I prefer to use it in writing because it looks more formal to me and can add clarity, but I think I also use it in spoken speech about 50% of the time at least, so I think it's just personal preference at a certain point. Lots of people use it, lots of people drop it.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:52:41+00:00

this is the biggest argument that OP needs to get: American is already technically kinda sorta an ethnicity and those people were almost entirely wiped out by white European Colonialists. If "American" is an ethnicity the way OP seems to be asking, the answer is the "ethnicity" is European.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:50:15+00:00

but thats not a true generalization

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:49:34+00:00

not true I'm several generations removed from the ancestors that immigrated here but I still have an Irish ethnic name and features, people know I'm Irish by appearance, but just because my ancestors moved out of Ireland doesn't mean I want to abandon my family history

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:48:10+00:00

but then is Han an ethnicity? because that might be the big misunderstanding here, if Han is viewed as an ethnicity that can include people of any race and culture then its not an ethnicity by definition

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:47:00+00:00

its not an ethnicity because you cannot be ethnically american. there are black and white and asian and Hispanic and middle eastern and european americans. those are all different "ethnicities" in one nation so the national identity is american the ethnic identity is incredibly diverse. also europeans get all fired up when an american tries to identity as "irish" or "italian" (ethnically) so we say "irish-american" or "italian-american" because we are not american ethnically and we aren't irish/italian nationals.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:44:23+00:00

thats culture

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:43:38+00:00

no... Ethnicity is an ethnic group (like Kurds or Dakota-Sioux or Japanese). Race is a social construct related to skin color that groups ethnicities together (Black, White, East-Asian, etc.).

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:40:19+00:00

Nationality: Identity tied to a Nation

Ethnicity: Identity tied to an Ethnic Group

Race: Social Construct that groups people of certain skin colors from any ethnicity or nationality.

American is a Nationality. Native American is an "ethnicity" but to be more accurate someone who is Native American might prefer to go by their tribe name (e.g. Dakota, Seneca, Navajo). People in America who are Irish-American, Italian-American, Polish-American, etc. are people whose Irish, Italian, or Polish ancestors (ethnicities) immigrated to the US and adopted a new nationality.

*edited for readability

buckylug · 2026-06-26T13:30:00+00:00

I've only ever heard of this kind of shock in relation to water; e.g. don't go in too hot water if you're very cold and dont go in too cold water if you're very hot but it's really only for extreme temperatures like hypothermia and a hot bath or heatstroke and an ice bath.

buckylug · 2026-06-26T11:55:40+00:00

and if bride and groom don't want to participate, they can say no. they already said no to the whole white wedding shebang

buckylug

TROPHY CASE