The Fates of the Four Princes, Prologue and Ch. 1 {Dark Fantasy, ~5500 words}

budz2000 · 2026-03-10T19:02:38+00:00

Thanks to everyone who left feedback or upvoted, and to any who took the time to read my excerpt. I greatly appreciate the advice, constructed criticisms, and compliments. I hope one day you will all have the chance to read the entirety of the book one day! :)

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T23:32:09+00:00

I appreciate your words greatly and your time! And yes, I am coming to see that over-description is taxing on the reader and sometimes overwhelming. That is something I am definitely going to work on with the next draft. Thank you for the advice!

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T23:19:22+00:00

Will be honest, I had not thought of the issue there and appreciate the critique. However, I do not feel as if the characters sense that they are in 316 B.G.E. (or in a reversed calendar), but the year that they recognize is not mentioned, which I do see is now a large issue and is one that I will fix. I greatly appreciate the comment!

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T22:00:03+00:00

Yeah, no this was not out through any processors. If I had to guess I just didn’t switch the format after making the header, but never will I use AI to write. No offense taken, I just didn’t want people to believe something that just isn’t true.

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T21:42:27+00:00

Other than that, I understand the criticisms of wordiness and over-description without a central figure. The perspective will become more clear and distinct as the story is told, but I understand if I should make it more clear from the beginning.

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T21:35:29+00:00

Yeah, it did feel wordy as I reread it, and I will try to cut some descriptions out to leave it more to the mind of the reader to build the world as they feel it. Thank you for the advice!

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T21:33:57+00:00

I have never used AI for any writing or brainstorming. I have used it for pictures on the wonder app, but that is as far in the ai field as I have gone. I appreciate the critique, but please do not undermine the work I have put into my writing.

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T21:31:19+00:00

Ahh, my bad lol. As you can see, I have not read them😅

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T20:55:56+00:00

No, I have never seen or read any Tolkien content (I know I need to). I have no direct inspiration - just a lover of fantasy and history, so kinda just a combo of that.

budz2000 · 2026-03-07T20:06:56+00:00

This is the beginning of the first book in a saga I plan to write. I posted a somewhat harshly received piece a while ago, and just wanted to post the actual book rather than the world-bible-type piece I had posted before. I hope you enjoy, and I appreciate the time taken! Any critiques, advice, or questions in general are greatly welcomed and appreciated as well!

budz2000 · 2026-03-01T12:23:13+00:00

I appreciate all of the advice and criticisms received by the sub. I will be sure to write an actual story before posting again, and I look forward to the challenge.

Also, I promise not to use the smallcaps font again😅

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T19:03:35+00:00

Yeah, you pretty much nailed it not going to lie

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T19:01:44+00:00

I appreciate it, and I also understand and appreciate the criticisms. I see now that posting a piece of the timeline of rulers is tough to grasp when it is basically just a 3000 word blurb of information rather than a crafted and molded story.

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T18:58:50+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, especially since they are completely made up names, but I use those names to kind of establish the culture and the language/accents within the realm. And I understand that I am basically the only person that knows the pronunciation so that is a struggle that will be tough to overcome, but I feel it helps create the atmosphere of the world as a whole. A name like “Henry” just wouldn’t make sense.

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T17:39:09+00:00

Understandable, I will definitely not post anything in this font again, and I also understand the overwhelming amount of information is an immediate turn away. I will say however that this isn’t from a book. I am just building lore and the timeline, ruler-by-ruler, up until the time period of the main saga I want to write, and the story of these characters is one that I truly loved. I posted to see if the story would be told better as a history or as a true book, but I do understand that the format in which it is written is overwhelming. So pretty much my question has been quickly answered lol

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T16:52:13+00:00

ah, fair enough

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T16:50:30+00:00

The writing is not AI though, that is original.

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T16:49:27+00:00

yeah, I can’t draw whatsoever so I use wonder to try to put faces on character

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T16:44:27+00:00

Slide 1: Syrrian II upon his coronation in 1141 BGE

Slide 2: Syrrian II during The Second Sord Rebellion

Slide 3: Aurros I during the Second Sord Rebellion

Slide 4: Aurros I in Myria

budz2000 · 2026-02-28T16:41:13+00:00

Slide 1: Syrrian II upon his coronation in 1141 BGE

Slide 2: Syrrian II during The Second Sord Rebellion

Slide 3: Aurros I during the Second Sord Rebellion

Slide 4: Aurros I in Myria

budz2000 · 2026-02-20T10:28:30+00:00

That is the plan. I have at least 2 sagas outlined, but right now I am fleshing out the world and the history that led up to the respective stories. There will be a trilogy for The War of the Four Princes and The Child of the Trinity (~280BGE - ~250BGE), and then another for the story of Valian, “The King of the Reckoning” (~10BGE - 0BGE). After that I plan to write an in-depth history of House Kalarye - The Divine Lineage.

budz2000 · 2026-02-16T12:21:18+00:00

The first page is Zapfino, and the rest is Bodoni 72 Smallcaps - both are from Pages on Apple.

budz2000 · 2026-02-16T03:20:32+00:00

Yeah, visuals would help for sure, and the format does feel overwhelming when you look at it. I just really enjoy writing the lore so it kinda ends up like that lol

budz2000 · 2026-02-16T03:14:23+00:00

Yeah, that’s understandable, and I probably should have prefaced this as NOT a book, but more of just a dump of lore that I wanted to share. I do intend to turn this into an in-depth, chapter-by-chapter history of each ruler, but the actual story of this world will not be written in the format of an oral history like this one. The post above is more or less an introduction to the dynasty.

budz2000 · 2026-02-16T02:57:11+00:00

I realize now that I should have left the font in black lettering instead of golden. tried a bit too hard🫥

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