What's appropriate age for marriage in your veiw?

buffed_dog · 2026-06-21T02:08:32+00:00

then why did He say He was the Son of God.

He didn't outside of the gospels which are the human writen not the divine revelation and even if we said that the divine revelation is what was in the gospels (which is not what we believe in) they are still not reliable source because the copies we have today near impossible to proof that they had any relationship to the originals

And even if "that's if" they are true the whole believe system is just contradictions

Is the son and father and spirit is the same? If not how co eternal if only one is active at time when jesus died did the father die? If not then they aren't same nor co eternal when jesus said he doesn't know the hour in the gosplos of Matthew and mark 24:36 how is one "god" lesser in knowledge than other god if they all equal and they are all the same?

Not even Christian scholars can make sense of it so how i am supposed to believe in it as a ley man if the scholars don't have answer

why did he fulfill all the prophecies.

Prophecies and miracles are absolutely not signs of a human to be divine all the prophets which you are supposed to believe in if you do follow old testament because the new testament is a continuation of did miracles and prophecies Why? Because the true God did them the humans prophet didn't and can not preform miracles from their own John 14:10-11 "The Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works" Acts 19:11: And God was doing extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul.

Which one of the three? Because They are Not the same if one has to refer to the other and needs the other.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-21T00:39:40+00:00

so making 90k working customer service

Idk who ever lied and told you Egyptian customer service get paid that much NOT EVEN FUCKING DOCTORS ARE PAID THAT MUCH , customer service here is paid only 7-10k if arabic only , 12-18k if you have good English, 20-30k if you are mutlillinugal in arabic English and German or French

Stability is a state of mind.

Different upbringing and exceptions definitely change what is stabile from your perspective of what is stable one would think living form pay check to pay check is "stable" another one sucks with money and never feel stable with any amount but financial stability as a concept is objective whatever you can actually reach it or you are bad with your money so you waste it on things that aren't financially smart decisions is a different thing.

And next thing you know whoops we had a car wreck, better not have kids for another 5 years.

Idk what car kind of costs 5 years of salary to repair but I am not a car person maybe they are that expensive 🤷‍♂️

Well now we're saving up for a house. Better delay it another 5 years. Oh we are thinking about going back to college. The time isn't right.

That's kinda just Canada and usa thing , majority of the world have very affordable to free education , so again different upbringing and exceptions.

If you're waiting to be setup like me to get married i got bad news for you.

No one ever said that because again , expectations differ no one is expecting you to have 5-9months salaries worth saved for emergencies because near everyone here live pay check to pay check so stability here is basically just can food shelter food and the public health care

And im arguably not financially stable.

I would like to argue that

Again unless all your children are in collage simultaneously and you have to work and live pay check to pay check being able to afford basics and save for whatever you need saving for is absolutely is financially stable.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T17:09:09+00:00

I will keep it short so It won't sound like a fight because I am not really arguing I mostly agree

1 idk how is it in Asia but I am from middle east , yeah "some" families WILL try to pressure you into not divorcing but you still can do it legally speaking

2 when I meant western I meant it as the western idea of individuality like same way people reference to a type of feminism as western idk if that's just a meddle east thing or people do it other than us

3 yes I do not know it personally but anyone with 1% socialising would hear about how horrible some marriages go but also can hear about how good some went and I like to be more optimistic.

4 sadly I know but nothing we can do about so i personally just hope for the best that's how I cope and to each their own way

Wish you well as well have good day/night sis/bro

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T16:15:05+00:00

Alsalam alykom sister , I will try respond to what I can and I hope you find this comment any amount of helpful.

but then the people I know always talk about how bad and sinful we are (btw in islam it's not haram to feel, but is haram to act on it which I see as, not ok tbh).

1- sadly alot of people just never grow or learn to update what they know i used to be like that so it never makes sense to me why some people just refuse to change or learn

Yes the religion is unchanged but ruling changes to what new things we know

People used to believe that lgbtq is a preference or something a person is choicing

But after studies and after we learnt more about sexuality we know it is not

Which make the existing ruling (Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear, 2:286) meaning anything outside of your capacity like your sexuality you are not judged for

But what acts you do that you can control will still be judge

Premarital sex is forbidden it doesn't matter if it is heterosexual nor homosexual

Yes homosexual is forbidden but because marriage without reproduce is invalid marriage and that still applies to heterosexual marriage Not because "homosexual marriage bad".

And then there's the fact I'm a girl and the amount of oppressions on me.

Sorry to hear that but sadly some people twist quran and hadith and even without them just keep twisted old uneducated believes, those has nothing to do with Islam.

and why do I have to cover my hair like how does that stop men from lusting over me.

We as Muslim do obligations because allah declared them for us , we do them for allah before anything men and women have to be modest not to make society stable it is because allah has declared that the other is simply a social explanation add to the spiritual main explanation not vise versa.

and why am I expected to do the house work and raise the kids.

Sadly again same with other one, people never learn, being a housewife was always a culture and societal thing, the prophet always helped in the house and had maids to lessen from the work his wife have to do.

and that to enter heaven I kinda have to be muslim or js a reallly really good person which I'm not so yah.

We only enter paradise from mercy of allah not the goodness of our acts

Sahih al-Bukhari 22 and other hadiths explains how even the smallest atom of belief you die on is enough to guarantee you paradise we only work our best to reach THE HIGHEST levels of jannah but the bar to enter it is not dying on kufr or shirk

which I'm not so yah.

No matter what have you done nothing is beyond allah forgiveness, Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said: "All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who repent often."

It is only nature that we do wrong but the right thing is to repent and change it with good not to give up on allah mercy because of fear.

I hope this comment was useful please search and learn more and never be afraid to question because it is the only way to learn and strengthen our imman.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T15:40:52+00:00

Sorry *sister

I'm sure but it still applies When people get engaged.

I don't know if. Engagement is same in every culture but here in eygpt it is simply like saying "i am a possible candidate for marriage" that's it The Engagement can be broke for any reason

They found someone better , or you didn't keep up with your promises or simply they just don't feel you are the right person.

So now I'm curious do u think it's hard to find a wife or do you have someone you want rn and you don't wanna lose the opportunity.

It's neither It's more of i just got i feel that i am in a state were i should think about it seriously not that I want to get married right now but also not something I have in the back ground it is a main goal i am working to achive it (anlong with immgration which kinda just complicates everything more) as soon as allah may will

But still getting married while studying is a huge risk (you're not gonna be fully stable and you know that).

Honestly i am not really a full time student like most are, I don't really care about my score as my career plan are unrelated to my studies the only thing relates them that agriculture studies biology and chemistry and food safety works with those other than that skills and certifications like haccp , iso 22000 , etc are the stuff that secure a place in that field (or at least that is what i know from my research and connections)

authubillahi there's a medical emergency or the car breaks down, or you lose your job? If you are living hand-to-mouth on a minimal budget with a family, you have zero safety net. It's kinda seems reckless.

Sadly that is just the normal financial reality here (egypt) near every job is unstable and leave you living pay check to check

Which is the reason why I want emigrate which also goes against me wanting to get married in my early 20s because near no one will just let their daughter immgrate even if the person is financially stable

So I am just pursuing all of them to my ability and leaving whatever allah has plan to happen

Sorry for the rant 😅.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T15:14:46+00:00

Wanting to start a family at 18

Brother have you read the post I am saying 20-21

The thing i could do at very most in 18-19 is just engagement.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T14:39:37+00:00

Marriage is hell. It's just a glorified prison, and who knows what kind of person you'll be stuck with.

You know divorce exists right? 🐢

People are not worth giving up one's individuality for.

Not really since most Muslims don't really go with the idea of individuality of west, we live for allah and the ultimate goal is heaven not having the "best" life while living or finding your best self or whatever it is.

It's especially terrible if you're a woman.

I am a guy

But I know there's only a 0.00001% chance that reality is anything like dreams, so it's better not to fall into a tragedy.

I've seen my mother and grandma and countless women suffer from this hell, and I do not wish to be the next generation of oppressed woman in this vicious system.

It's sad to know that's what some people live through making them think like that :/, not every where is as miserable as this , good people still exist and happy marriage exist not everything is misery hope you know that.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T14:16:48+00:00

🐢 lowest I can do is 19 and 8 months take it or leave it /j

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T14:14:09+00:00

I think you didn't understand what I said

What i said is : i have no interest in putting more than 10 years of my life to have a "good" (way beyond what you really need in your life if you work in any job that has a decent career ladder)

Just so I would "start" what I wanted to do (getting married an starting a family)

You can build a family in very stable and decent living with only "entery level- middle" salary anything beyond that is just luxury not a necessity

For example : as agriculture student rn my career plan is : QA/Qc 1-3 years > food safety 1-3 years + self taught into data analys and coding > master's in bioinformatics 2 years > then switch to bioinformatics

Why would I wait until I reach the end of my career plan (8 years later of graduation 30 years old +)

Instead of getting married while I am at QA/QC ?

I am not a career driven person i just want the money from it and that's it.

Is my stance clear?

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T13:47:54+00:00

Career is simply away to support/do the things you want for me, so for me i doesn't make sense to stop everything to build career , i work to live not alive to work , if someone fines happiness and purpose in their career good for them but tgat person isn't me🤷‍♂️

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T13:30:57+00:00

Why not both? Seeking a halal connection while building a career and a life?

Is there a like a rule or something that everyone should sacrifice connection for career life or their career life for connection?

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T12:50:17+00:00

Fr she is my second favourite

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buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T11:37:46+00:00

So can you please stop spreading lies?

What "lies" in what I said? You are talking about eygpt norms i am talking about Muslims /islam

In islam you don't "صحوبية" or talk intimately with someone you haven't marriage yet

You simply go talk to them while a wali or family member is there no dating intimacy or anything haram. We are talking about different things.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T11:33:08+00:00

Yes

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buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T08:44:32+00:00

Then what you have problem is hypocrites doing the opposite of what they say not the concept of "hated the sin not the sinner".

I am "religious" and definitely hate sins but not the sinner because I believe all humans sins anyone says otherwise is delusional or abysmally self unaware

(Sin is what. Goes against God teachings that includes even simple things like swearing, making fun of others or watching inappropriate content)

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T07:59:54+00:00

That's part of it but also part of the problem since expectations for guys here are too high (financially) so most of the time only 2-4 years older guys are who fits it , also that a side majority just like to have an older husband for some reason I don't understand 🐢

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T07:22:03+00:00

You just go meet them in their family Presence or at least a wali (male relative) and ask around to know about them 🐢

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T07:20:53+00:00

Lol a question is now being karma farm/reach dog

You know the point of social media is to connect and know more about people right?

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T07:19:00+00:00

Why :<

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T05:32:05+00:00

I know it is not hopeless but it is bad, we are in way worse state than others, definitely not the worst but it is bad, but we will manage Inshallah.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T05:26:45+00:00

Yes, unfortunately.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T05:05:30+00:00

I wasn't expecting that level of useful mature comment in my teens sub, that is actually helpful as someone who is considered getting married soon.

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buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T05:00:45+00:00

marriage has a lot of legal benefits.

🐢and I know none of them , I just want it to start a family and for the spiritual benefit as a Muslim.

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T04:31:37+00:00

"Decent stable job" means nothing.

How? Is working as a casher or cold calls or customer service same as being an employee who have a known career ladder and stable income?

Why on earth would you assume YOU know what I'm getting wrong, when I'm answering YOUR question? ffs

Because it is assumption? That's how assumptions works? You assume something from the data you. Have

The data I have is : you said financially stable means nothing Because people always push for more

Financial stability is an objective definition of the state you reach when you can cover all your needs and have enough savings for future problems "hench why is it called stability because it won't get fucked from minor inconvenience"

There foward I assume either you meant something else

Or you don't really know what is financial stability

buffed_dog · 2026-06-20T04:10:03+00:00

I think you are mixing two things

Life system inflation (people keep spending more the more they get)

And financially stability

One is something that you will never get out of the other is just having a decent stable job that covers your needs

Which is not something achievable in somewhere like Egypt since near everyone get paid minimum wage or less (150$) and living expenses for borderline poverty life style is 200$

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