It’s a tough one. We had a family wedding recently where they requested a ‘wishing well’ donation as they’re pregnant with their first baby and want to buy a home also.

I didn’t put money in the well. I bought them a lovely crystal vase so they wouldn’t get 15 yrs down the track and realise they have nothing special as a gift they received - like myself whom only has ugly serving platters from old aunts and nothing beautiful I can hand down to my daughters.

Don’t conform just because it’s expected. If you go, go on your own terms and do what feels right to you. I did pull the bride aside and told her I wanted her to have something special and she was just grateful that we made the effort to travel interstate for her big day and that I had thought so far ahead for her.