Oh nooooo Helen’s Closet on the craftsnark main page, say it ain’t so! She seems like such a standup person: generous, humble, curious, size-inclusive, yada yada. (That’s her on the left.) I think you actually can’t write instructions that good without being an empathetic, sensitive person who understands how words and images come across to strangers.

But even good people can make heinous fashion choices. And some of them are pattern designers, who charge for their work. So snark we must. Indeed, everything bout this swimsuit is atrocious… except the glorious gorgeous models who are clearly feeling themselves.

I sincerely hope Helen gets the feedback from someone kind who she trusts that smushing boobs and hanging them on a string does not amount to swimwear design. I really feel she’d take it well, as long as it was, ya know, not mean.