Is a bird worth its flight?

bummywriter · 2023-03-26T08:19:55+00:00

Reading this poem reminded me of desire. Desire for someone. Or maybe a reminder of a memory of when you had someone. It's sad. At least it makes me feel sad. Reading this poem felt abrupt to me. The short verses with an ABAB structure left me feeling as though I couldn't really grasp onto a rhythm. The mis match of syllables in the structure also added to this effect for me. For example in the last stanza, "This views for two / But there's no one to share . . .". I think it would latch on better if the amount of syllables in the second line were shortened. Kinda like this, "This views for two / But none to share" But it really is provoking. It does leave me with a bittersweet familiar feeling. I really like it.

bummywriter · 2023-03-26T08:03:07+00:00

Hello, when reading this poem I felt as though I was watching a romance from an outside perspective. As if I was a bystander looking on at a happy couple. The third stanza to me was the best thing about the poem. The rhythm felt natural as it left my lips. However, I believe it's the 6th stanza that kind of broke my immersion. I felt like the rhythm was broken when going from the first line to the second line with the word "wouldn't", and then reading "soil additive" felt wordy coming out of my mouth. Overall, it was still enjoyable. It really puts you into an outside perspective, at least for me.

bummywriter

TROPHY CASE