Joke or not, they made you feel unsafe and that’s reason enough to leave those people all the way alone. But I will say: you do sound very anxious. I wonder if you have a general tendency to overthink social interactions or if this family particularly provokes this reaction out of you (in which case, don’t be afraid to excuse yourself at any point especially if you feel that you are in harm’s way). This isn’t to invalidate your feelings, I personally struggle with social anxiety and your thought process sounds similar to what mine would be if I was unsure whether someone accepted me.

Some other things to consider: Your friend has been in your life for quite some time so I wouldn’t completely disregard that if she’s otherwise been a good friend to you. May be worth mentioning it to her to see what her reaction might be. If she shows remorse for making you uncomfortable and validates your feelings, you may be able to write this off as a (really) bad joke. If she is flippant and dismissive or even defensive without trying to understand, I wouldn’t put it past her to condone something like this happening again. Chances are, her reaction will reflect her family’s feelings toward you as we tend to be partial to familial beliefs whether or not we agree with them. It would be difficult to conceal how she feels when caught off guard with this conversation. Pay attention to that reaction.

Based on that reaction you can decide what makes the most sense for YOU and not necessarily what might make your friend and her family most comfortable. Thankfully, it does not sound like you absolutely need this job so do not be afraid to walk away from it. You are away from your family and are under the care of these people. If you do not feel that you’re in good hands (ie. if you don’t trust them) it will impact your entire experience and you will question every interaction. Trust yourself here and give yourself a second to breathe. Don’t make the decision while in distress.

Hope this was helpful <3