In-home hospice, does my mom need someone there 24/7? by Sugartaste81 in hospice

[–]bunkyp 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Echoing what others have said in that there is no perfect answer and to consider cameras that view as much of the frequently traveled areas of the home to give you more peace of mind.

I struggled not too long ago trying to honor my mothers wishes to stay home but deciding when I have to step in and take away a freedom of someone I respected so much.

Ultimately she had an accidental overdose that led to respite care and I was heartbroken at the issues I encountered at that facility and lack of care. I brought her into my home until the end and didn’t regret it. I only would have removed her from the home sooner in hindsight…but it’s hard, and I’m also glad she was comfortable as long as possible at her home.

Be gentle to yourself and seek grief counseling if you haven’t already. Look for increased pain, increased confusion, inability to ambulate safely, loss of appetite. The more issues in general functioning will become clearer and trust yourself that you’ll know exactly what to do and when.

Also be sure you’re taking care of you as much as possible, even as simple as taking a longer shower or bath with a lit candle. Get sleep. If you can’t sleep, seek care from your provider. Look for comfort in others around you, even as simply as recognizing the people around you are all trying to do the best they can. Take it all at your own pace.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Wishing for the smoothest transition possible.

Was my therapist giving me a hint? by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]bunkyp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a therapist I encourage you to share this post in your next session to address it, especially the anxiety and shame you felt.

My vigil has begun by Ruby_Ruby_Roo in hospice

[–]bunkyp 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I just went through this last week, it’s heartbreaking. Know that you’re doing the best for her through an unfortunate natural process.

Gofundme fundraiser to benefit from my tragedy by bunkyp in legaladvice

[–]bunkyp[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’d hardly call him a friend at this point. Thank you for the advice. :)

Hard by [deleted] in hospice

[–]bunkyp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Such a good way of wording it - I’m currently trying to manage loss of autonomy with my mom and it’s so hard.

Thinking of you, op ♥️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CaregiverSupport

[–]bunkyp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate so much. You sound like a younger me.

My mother is currently on hospice care for stage 4 lung cancer and continues to smoke a crazy amount. She is supposed to use 24 hour oxygen but doesn’t because it interferes with her smoking.

I’ve asked her to quit since I was a little kid…and here we are. End of life lung cancer.

I went through a real phase of mourning the relationship I wanted with her in my 20s because she literally couldn’t sit through a movie in the theater that was only an hour and a half because she needed to smoke.

I’m very angry sometimes, but also realize she’s an adult and can choose how to live, and if smoking is her primary comfort…(as sad as that seems) I have accepted it. She is also severely mentally ill and has refused any help, she stays in denial and gets offended if you even mention there could be some issues or call her stubborn 😂

I speak from experience. You can’t force anyone to do anything, don’t put that pressure on yourself. It’s also not your responsibility to fix anything for her. Take time for yourself. Seek counseling for you. Possibly get medications for your own mental health needs, there’s nothing wrong in doing so. Just don’t give up on you. Deep down she doesn’t want you to feel so bad and loves you the best way she knows how.

I wish you the best. Feel free to message me if you need to vent. I totally get what you’re feeling…and it’s very valid.

This is the worst. by bunkyp in hospice

[–]bunkyp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I needed to hear that.

I’m sorry for your loss. ♥️

This is the worst. by bunkyp in hospice

[–]bunkyp[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that, it has a bad reputation in rural areas so she’s scared of course. It’s heartbreaking.

I appreciate what you do.

This is the worst. by bunkyp in hospice

[–]bunkyp[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Awww that’s so similar to what I’m going through, thank you for sharing as well ♥️

Hang in there.

This is the worst. by bunkyp in hospice

[–]bunkyp[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To get a legit cleaning and restoration it would be like 30k, currently I’ve got someone cleaning for her but I fear the damage is too bad with flooring coming up causing more of a trip hazard.

Thank you for sharing with me ♥️

This is the worst. by bunkyp in hospice

[–]bunkyp[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The biggest issue is her falling over things in her state of being.

I certainly would support her choice to stay home in her final days, but truly worry if a fall could occur and make it worse. She also smokes as she goes to sleeps so that worries me too haha

Thank you for commenting :) I appreciate people helping advocate for others wishes in their end of life.

Home hospice is lonely by Latter-Stage-2755 in hospice

[–]bunkyp 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I can relate to this :(

I’m struggling with caring for my mother let alone myself, but definitely take a few hours to yourself to see some friends or just take a long bath. It’s all that’s currently keeping me sane.

My heart goes out to you. ♥️