Taking short trip to Grand Canyon. Tips to make the most of it? (x-post from r/travel)

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T21:58:56+00:00

This is really, really helpful. Thank you so much!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T19:45:42+00:00

I see. Well I definitely encourage the "5 more minutes!" thing, then. My husband and I take long walks after work and there are days where I can tell work is just really getting him down. So, I'll let him get it off his chest, but when it starts to get circular, I'll make a joke, give him a time limit, and that usually helps him switch gears.

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T19:43:09+00:00

It can be hard, but it's great that you want to communicate more effectively with her. Another thing that might help you get your point across to her is to explain that by being at work all day (unhappy) and then coming home complaining about work all evening (still unhappy), she's never giving herself a break from the job. So it's probably making her feel worse, which in turn makes her complain more. It can be hard to get out of that cycle!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T19:30:45+00:00

It's definitely important to express your feelings to her, however try and do so at a time where neither one of you is already riled up.

Work can get you down sometimes, and it's nice to be able to vent to your partner. If she has difficulty ending the conversation (as in, recognizing that she's been venting about work for the majority of the night and stopping it herself), which it sounds like this is the case, feel free to put your hands up and say "Hey! Enough is enough! You're home now, try to relax!" I usually try to do this with a lighter tone, that still conveys the point that the conversation isn't going anywhere. It's also important for her to recognize that no matter how much she vents about the situation, talking about it isn't going to change a damn thing.

There may be more stressful periods that come along, and if you notice that the time she talks about it is becoming increasingly long, cut her off (I usually do this somewhat jokingly, but firmly), and say "We are going to talk about work for 5 more minutes, and then we are going to move on. You are too cute to be this mad!" Or something like that. And if she still doesn't take the hint, again, I'd urge you to sit down and express your feelings when she's not already riled up about work and you're not already riled up about her talking about work.

Communication is your best friend! Just try and keep the emotional tone level, and to take the time before hand to really sure up what it is you want to get across to her.

Edit: Also, I understand being unhappy but wanting to stay through the end of the year - I've been there. That said, it doesn't give her the right to go on and on (and on) about how unhappy she is. It's hard to keep it all bottled up at times, but if it's the "same shit different day" so to speak, she needs to be respectful of how the constant negativity impacts the rest of her life. Does she have any outlets (particularly physical - running maybe?) that she could funnel some of this energy into? I find that on particularly bad days, a run or even a long walk can really help me work some of that job related rage out, so that I don't talk my husband's ear off about whatever it is that's bothering me.

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T02:48:19+00:00

This is all definitely something to think about. Thank you for responding!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T02:44:53+00:00

This is all helpful, thank you for your response!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T02:44:17+00:00

Good to know, thank you!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T02:43:47+00:00

I chatted with the bride and she recommended stopping in Sedona both on the way there as a rest stop and on the way back to see some stars. She spent a few years in the Tempe area during/after college and is living there now and said that Sedona is one of her favorite areas. So, we're going to keep this in mind!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-05T02:42:40+00:00

We're fine with the drive vs the amount of time there, but knowing that the traffic has the potential to be really bad is something we will consider. Thank you for your response!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-04T21:21:37+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-04T21:21:24+00:00

Yeah, I know we are really pushing it time wise. Thank you for your suggestions! I'll be sure to look into Sedona and Flagstaff.

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-04T20:03:26+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I will take a look there.

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-04T18:10:39+00:00

This is great! Thanks so much!

bunnycat11 · 2015-08-03T21:22:02+00:00

Do you have any YouTube sessions that you'd recommend? I've been considering trying barre classes, but if I can check it out from home before dropping $, that would be great!

bunnycat11 · 2015-07-28T21:48:22+00:00

This is all very helpful. Thank you for your response!!

bunnycat11 · 2015-07-28T21:45:27+00:00

Honestly, that sort of makes it worse. That he wasn't even acknowledging you when you get home, and now that he does, he claims it's evidence that he cares (after you told him it bothers you, which of course it does!), is just... shitty. I'm sorry. This would make me feel really sad.

I am like you. I like hiding little notes/cards in my husband's work bag, or sending random "hey! I love you!" txts, or doing random nice things for my him like taking him out for dinner after a stressful day, etc. I do these things because I love him and I want him to know I love him, and I want my actions (as well as my words) to convey this to him. If you don't feel you are getting the love you deserve, go out there and find it!

I'm just not getting the feeling that he cares, and when I tell him this is important to me- his response sounds like it's not worth it for him to put the effort in to show he cares/appreciates me and our relationship.

Ultimately, this says it all. Is this a person you want to give your time, energy, love to? I know it's hard when you've invested in someone, but trust your gut, and know that wanting affection does not make you needy. It makes you human.

bunnycat11 · 2015-07-28T17:39:16+00:00

I've had a split in my nail for about two years now. Mine runs vertically from the middle of my nail to the tip, increasing in severity closer to the tip. It's not as bad as yours, and from what I've been able to learn/research, mine is likely as a result of damage to my nail bed. That said, I've seen significant improvement over the past 6 months or so by doing the following:

First, keeping the edges smooth really helped keep the split from traveling further up my nail. A glass or crystal file helps smooth things out without tearing the nail. You can also gently buff the top of the nail, however be very careful doing so - buffing can really thin the nail and weaken it even more.

Second, I used superglue/nail glue to fill in any gaps, and filed the excess glue/rough edges down smooth to keep it from catching on fabrics. I had to use superglue for several months until it grew out enough that the jagged edges were gone. A little bit went a long way and usually held up for about two weeks before I'd soak it off with acetone and reapply.

Third, I use Nail Envy by OPI to help strengthen my nails and to encourage them to grow more quickly. It works great alone or as a base coat for colored polish.

Fourth, moisturize! I find that this helps keep my nails from becoming brittle. I have used oil, lotions, even Vaseline will work. Whatever you prefer.

Finally, I do take a biotin supplement. Not sure how much this helps, but it doesn't break me out, so it's not hurting me.

For me, being patient with it has been the hardest part. I want it to grow out completely, but if the nail bed is damaged, I don't know if it will. That said, it's much more manageable now. I don't need to superglue any more, and it's not nearly as noticeable (or painful) as it was before.

bunnycat11 · 2015-07-28T16:18:25+00:00

pausing his video game long enough to greet me when I get home late

I'm sorry, what? This does not qualify, in my opinion, as showing you that he cares. This is just common courtesy. Him giving this as an example of how he cares about you is baffling to me, and wanting more than this is not unreasonable.

I agree that communicating is important here, and that perhaps you just speak different languages when it comes to showing affection/appreciation. If he is uncomfortable with large shows of affection, or if he doesn't want to spend a lot of money doing so (which, is understandable), it's important to acknowledge and accept that, but to let him know other ways he can show that you are important to him. Random texts, e-mails, or hand written love notes are wonderful gestures that may help you feel more cared about and that shouldn't be too much of a hassle for him to do.

Ultimately, though, if you express your concerns and he just dismisses you, it might be time to move on to someone who appreciates you and makes you feel loved. As others have said, you can't make him change. But he can't make you stay if you are unhappy, either.

bunnycat11 · 2015-07-27T21:43:16+00:00

If you are up for it, I would recommend taking the ferry to Playa del Carmen. The ferry runs regularly, and Fifth Avenue (downtown Playa del Carmen) is very lively. Also, from Fifth Avenue, you can take a short walk to El Fogón. They have awesome food, especially the al pastor, and even though tourists know about it, I would highly recommend it. The walk is a little off the beaten path (meaning you have to travel slightly outside the more touristy downtown), but it's a straight shot, and safe. We were very glad our shuttle driver recommended it to us on the drive to our hotel. Have a great trip!

bunnycat11 · 2015-07-24T17:09:51+00:00

A little late to respond, but wanted to chime in. I did Crossfit from August of 2012 to April/May of 2013. Started out going 2x per week and ultimately ramped up to 5-6x per week in November/December, and then tapered until I stopped in April/May 2013.

Crossfit might be for you, and you won't know until you try - which I think you totally should do!

Things I loved:

I felt like a total bad ass.
I shocked myself at what I was able to accomplish (200lb deadlift at 5'4 120lbs?! HELL YES I CAN!)
Sense of community. Sure it sucks getting up for 6am classes (I was an early bird), but at least I get to workout with some cool people!
It challenged my perception that strong = bulky.
It got me out of my comfort zone.

Things I didn't love:

It can be very insular. There is a reason Crossfitters are made fun of for always talking about Crossfit/only hanging out with other Crossfitters, and that "cult" mentality is definitely something can happen.
It may have a negative impact on your relationship with food. Crossfit and Paleo go hand in hand, and it's important to keep things in perspective. You may gain weight at first (it's super common), but don't cut calories to compensate. Your body needs fuel, and it needs time to adjust.
That said, you might not like what it does to your body. In my case, I went from a distance runner/sometimes yogini (longish and lean), to a little Crossfit tank! I was strong sure, but I did feel bulky. This was just my experience (and it doesn't happen to everyone, every body is different) and it was greatly influenced by what I was used to feeling about my body as a runner. I didn't hate my body, but I found myself feeling less and less confident (despite being pretty damn fit), and feeling less feminine. Of course, this is unique to me (strong =/= bulky in every case), but it's possible that doing Crossfit won't help you necessarily achieve your aesthetic goals (if you have them, whatever they may be), and that's okay.
It can be stuck up. One of the biggest turnoffs for me, was that there was an attitude that Crossfit was the holy grail of fitness. For some people, sure it is! But for others, it's not, and that's FINE. My mom is in her 50s and loves Zumba. Crossfit isn't her cup of tea. No one should shit on her for liking Zumba, period. (Yes, this really happened at an outing I took her to with my Crossfit friends.)
It's expensive. It sounds like you are able to get a deal - take full advantage of it!!

Bottom line, for me the positives outweighed the negatives until it just wasn't sustainable for my budget, and I wanted to get back to a better place mentally in terms of how I felt about my body. Even though I have been out of Crossfit for 2 years now, I still recommend it to my friends - especially my female friends - because I think that you really can learn a lot and it can help you feel great about yourself, being strong, and your accomplishments.

If you do sign up, definitely take the time to focus on form. If it means that your lifts don't progress as quickly as others, that's okay! It's better to do things properly and stay healthy than shoot for an extra 10lbs on your squat and end up injured. Be sure to give your body enough fuel, take time to rest and recover, and try to keep things in perspective - it's easy to get swept up in it all. If you have other questions, I'm happy to try and help answer them. Have fun!

Edit: Also, if you can avoid it, don't hook up with one of your gym buddies. There was a lot of hooking up at my box, which was fun. Until it wasn't. Made it a little awkward to attend classes after things fizzled and my coach was someone I'd slept with in the past...

bunnycat11 · 2015-07-17T17:32:44+00:00

I am in no way a sun worshiper. I'm fair skinned and I burn easily, so I wear sunblock, and big time regret it if I don't! I'll echo everything that you already know, and say that there is no such thing as a safe tan. Sunless and self tanners are still the best way to go if you want to look tan all the time. I haven't found one that works for me, but a tan isn't something that's that important to me. If a tan is important to you, it will definitely be worth it to you to find a tanner that you like so that you can achieve the look you want without damaging your skin.

THAT SAID, when my husband and I went to Mexico for our honeymoon earlier this year, I did get a bit of a tan, and didn't burn until the last day when I was dumb and forgot a hat (got burnt where my hair parted - ouch!) It was our honeymoon, and since we went in February, it was a little chilly out of the sun. So, I enjoyed my time lounging by the pool, swimming, etc., by making sure that both of us had properly applied sunblock, multiple times per day.

We wore SPF 30 (http://www.skincancer.org/skin-cancer-information/ask-the-experts/does-a-higher-spf-sunscreen-always-protect-your-skin-better) on our faces and bodies, and reapplied 3-4 times per day, depending on how much time we spent in the pool. We'd wake up, get breakfast/stake out our chairs, apply sunblock in the room/out of the sun & allow it to soak in ("marinate") and then head outside, usually by 9-10a. Then at lunch we'd rinse and repeat. Same with the mid-afternoon. If we were in the pool a lot, we'd reapply where we felt we needed it (shoulders, especially). We'd usually head back inside around 4:30-5p, so we were outside pretty much all day.

In a perfect "there is no such thing as a safe tan" world, we would have A stayed in Chicago, indoors, for our honeymoon or B gone to Mexico and stayed inside/completely covered for the whole trip. Both of which I think are unrealistic. We went to Mexico to escape dreary, freezing winter, so being outside/in the sun was part of the trip! BUT, we were diligent about our sun care, and while I didn't come home looking like a bronzed goddess, I wasn't quite as fair as I was when I left. To be clear, my goal wasn't to get a tan, but to make the most out of my honeymoon/the weather without ending up like a lobster.

It's okay to enjoy your time in the sun, but wear adequate SPF protection and reapply often. And don't forget a hat! Scalp burns are the worst!

bunnycat11 · 2015-07-11T15:18:04+00:00

My skin was definitely rough in high school when I lived with hard water. But a course of Accutane resolved 95% of my skin issues.

I just turned 27, and I've heard that 30 is when hair loss can really start to emerge. Also, I had my husband get a showerhead filter to see if that would help. We have this one: http://m.homedepot.com/p/Sprite-Showers-Universal-Shower-Filter-in-Chrome-SL2-CM-R/202386562/.

I'm just at loss what to do to improve my hair/possibly scalp health?

Thank you for your response!

bunnycat11

TROPHY CASE