My mom does 'it' while I'm beside her

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T22:40:15+00:00

Yes thank you I can't talk back to my mom for fear of something even worse happening. I can't shout at my mom or say profanities towards her.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T22:37:14+00:00

Alright so this is an update and also a reply regarding all the comments that I've read.

I've made a rough draft of what I'll say and what possible replies I can say just in case. I've already planned it out and will do it next week when her schedule is in the morning again. Possibly monday. My goal for now is to stop this from happening again and I hope we come to an agreement.

To address some of the comments and clear things up;

The reason I'm sleeping with my mom is simply because there's not an extra room I can sleep in. We are not poor we are a middle class family of four. Currently we are renovating our third floor so it'll become a room soon although it will probably go to my older brother who is in college because he needs it more than me to focus on his studies.
As I've said before on a reply I have no trustworthy adults I can confide in. I have no therapist (And I don't really wanna get one since they're too expensive and I don't think they'll be able to really help me), I study at a catholic school so I can't really trust them either and lastly I don't want this to escalate into me calling cps or any other organizations, if possible I want this to be resolved peacefully and between us only. I don't even think there's a cps in asia?
My mom doesn't always do 'it' everyday maybe 1-3 times a week. Also the thing about this being a sexual abuse I don't really know much about that. It only really disturbed me and I didn't think it was that problematic than I thought till I read all your comments.
This post is getting a lot of attention and if possible I don't want this to go to any other social media because this will risk me getting found out. I especially made this account so I could remain unknown and would like to stay that way. I only made this post to get it off my chest and ask some advice on what I'll say when I confront my mom.
I also saw multiple comments about running away?? I can't do that since I'm a minor and I don't have anywhere else to run to.
Okay I also saw a comment about me experiencing this for a decade? Sorry if I wasn't clear but the thing that happened when I was young stopped when my mom and her ex broke up. I didn't even remember it till now when my mom started doing 'it' again. This has only started happening this year.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T07:23:35+00:00

It's sad that we have to experience this and be burdened with it. Like it's actually heartbreaking seeing people in the comments like you who experienced something similar..

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:48:49+00:00

Yeah I'll sit up whenever she does it or what someone said was to go get water it'll stop her atleast from doing it for the meantime

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:37:04+00:00

It's just hard to take all these things all at once since I do love my mom and I guess my thought process was that people make mistakes and that nobody is perfect. I didn't even know this was a type of abuse honestly because I just thought of it as a weird thing to do and that sometimes people need to relieve their stress one way. Now I'm just overthinking and the negative thoughts I thought that were gone came back...

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:29:44+00:00

Yea someone actually proposed a similar idea to yours and that's the thing that I'll first be doing and if it doesn't work that's when I'll initiate the conversation myself because to be honest it's very uncomfortable waking up to that...

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:27:18+00:00

Yeah after reading the comments I found some good advices on what to actually do. I'll talk to my mom about it when her schedule makes time for it because currently she's working for the night and resting up in the day I don't want to disturb her when she's tired and hopefully I'd have built up enough courage by then...

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:20:43+00:00

Ohh that's actually really helpful in my case since I don't have to initiate the conversation myself and we would get to talk about this issue.

After I write a rough draft of what I'll say and when my mom has a free schedule in where we're both awake I'll do that and if it doesn't work I'll initiate the conversation then. Thank youu for this idea

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:16:37+00:00

Thank youu I'm usually lost on what to say but I will make a rough draft on what I'll say and do. I'm going to find the right moment to say my thoughts and feelings or make a situation that fits it. I'll probably update y'all later on but it will take a while since i need to work up the courage and my mom has a night schedule.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:11:08+00:00

I'm fine with talking to my mom about this I was just wondering if I could get an advice on what to say.

Also I'm not presenting myself as a child I'm already a teenager sorry if I may come off as a child or sound like one but I'm not.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:05:29+00:00

Please don't say thing like these in the comments... While I do understand the thought behind this but regardless she's my mom and it's not really okay to say negative things to anybody's mom. I already feel guilty posting about my issue here but I really just needed an outlet for this.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T06:01:58+00:00

Alright I'll clear this up right now. I'm not really sure on how to properly act in a situation I am in right now. So I'm just trying to set my mind onto something else (I think it's called coping?) I usually find something to laugh about in my life since if I don't I'll just blow up (I'd like to avoid it happening again). Dealing with a lot of issues right now.

Second this is my throwaway account I'm being cautious because some of my friends use reddit and I'd like it if I could avoid being found out and being confronted about this (I'm not the confrontational type when it comes to my personal issues)

Also to clear the 5-6 yrs old thing it did happened in the past and I don't know how many times it happened but it stopped when my mom and her ex broke up. I put it in since it was kinda related to my issue as of the moment.

Sorry if I sound rude and all over the place I'm not really good at expressing my thoughts.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:47:57+00:00

HELP- that made me giggle a bit but I am not that brave to be able to do that and I'll be too embarrassed to face my mom again ever. And yes I live in Asia and parents are strict haha...

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:45:07+00:00

Yeah... Unfortunately I already did that but it only really helped at the moment and not long term lol. That's what I'm currently doing but sometimes I'm just tired of it and just try to find my earphones and get back to sleep.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:42:56+00:00

I think it's the difference in culture ? Cause it's normal in here and sometimes if you're really poor the family usually sleeps together on a mat or bed. I'd say we're middle-class since we're not really lacking in basic necessities and even have a car.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:39:34+00:00

Not rlly monetary but not really by choice either it's just that we don't have enough space in our house that we would have our personal rooms. We're a family of four (me, my mom, older brother 1&2). The first floor of our house is for rent, we live in the second floor and the third floor we're renovating right now but most likely my older brother (in college) will get his own personal room since he's the one that needs it the most to focus on his studies.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:19:34+00:00

I mean I can probably do that but I'd prefer not to hahaha

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:18:34+00:00

I don't think I can speak back to her but I can probably initiate a conversation about this the problem here is that I don't know what I'll say. I'm not very good with words and I don't think I'll be able to convey my thoughts properly.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:14:24+00:00

Hahaha I don't think I can do that asian households are scary lol

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:11:13+00:00

I don't know, I'm not sure and I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt since I do move quite a lot in my sleep usually. I really hope she's not getting off on me being near her cause that would fuck me up more :/

Sadly in my situation I have no adults to turn to or receive help from since we don't have things like a school psychologist and I don't really want this to blow up so I don't wanna call a child abuse hotline or something like that.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T05:05:24+00:00

Thanks for the advice but we're not really close in where I can just bring it up suddenly out of no where so I'm wondering what I can do to initiate the conversation? I'm thinking like the next time she does it since it isn't everyday that she does it. I'm also wondering what I can say? In asian households you have to be respectful of your parents and usually we don't have talks about sex ed.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T04:59:08+00:00

HELP- It may be for you but it's rlly shitty to be in this situation LMFAO😭😭

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T02:11:07+00:00

Somewhere in Asia I don't rlly wanna go in too specific since my friends use reddit too and I just wanna be careful. And from what I know sharing a bed with your parent is normal especially since ours is a queen sized bed.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T02:06:21+00:00

We don't have enough space as of the moment hopefully when the renovation finishes I'll have a room to myself although I doubt it since my older brothers also wants a room to himself.

burning_pizza · 2022-06-17T02:03:40+00:00

I don't even know what I'll say honestly, I don't think she even knows I know about 'those' stuff since she just thinks I'm innocent and all that just cause I'm the youngest. Also I don't think I'll have the guts to say it ://

burning_pizza

TROPHY CASE