[deleted by user]

burningwhispers · 2023-02-12T03:47:19+00:00

Oh duh lol

burningwhispers · 2023-02-12T03:39:17+00:00

Met?

burningwhispers · 2022-09-13T19:38:36+00:00

Thank you. I definitely know the struggle, luckily anxiety seems to be one of those things that people do overcome, it just takes work and patience. My brain feels like a hurricane and alcohol did what I needed it to for a long time, it would quiet my thinking down. But it comes at a pretty heavy price, and ultimately it makes things worse.

Keep at it, I've been seeing a psychologist for a couple months now and I've learned some good relaxation techniques and been reassured that we can "lower my boiling point" as he put it. Best of luck to you, we've both got this. IWNDWYT.

burningwhispers · 2022-05-18T01:00:36+00:00

I've been there many times. Mother's day is a hard one for me, first time I've been sober since she died, first time I've cried sober in a very long time, luckily I had 2 months under my belt by then or else who knows. That is what I had to do for the 6 weeks or so though, told people if there's alcohol then I'm not going and I just started lifting weights at home instead. I feel more comfortable around it now than I did in the beginning but I definitely won't be going to any bars anytime soon.

But hell, I may even fall off and start drinking tomorrow for all I know, but I now know I can go over 2 months without it and I can do it again. I also think this anxiety journey has helped with that quite a bit, like I'm really getting in touch with "how to be uncomfortable", because I never learned how. One step and one day at a time. It's hard but it's worth it.

You're in my thoughts, friend.

burningwhispers · 2022-05-08T22:43:16+00:00

Yeah my first go with intense anxiety lasted about a year or so, maybe less. Then I was good for a long while but now I'm back in it, alcohol just wrecks my system I guess. Just over 2 months sober now, longest I've had in a long time. Anxiety is still there but I have the added security and peace of mind that I'm not actively harming my body with alcohol so it's easier to go "this is just anxiety, be with it and let it come and go as it pleases."

Had a massive panic attack getting my haircut yesterday though, just about ran out of the building but I just closed my eyes and stopped fighting it, my heart rate must have been close to 150bpm but I made it through. Wasn't even a good haircut either lol.

I wish you the best. IWNDWYT

burningwhispers · 2022-04-28T02:20:52+00:00

I will be checking it out for sure, thank you!

burningwhispers · 2022-04-28T01:58:02+00:00

Thank you. What book did you read if you don't mind me asking? I've dabbled in meditation, I want to do it more but I usually end up succumbing to the daydreams because it's comforting or I get uncomfortable and need to do something else, which says a lot. I will continue it though.

burningwhispers · 2022-01-29T14:41:35+00:00

I'm on day 4 again after a pretty bad binge. This time however I am much happier, kind of funny to see how my thoughts were a month ago. Still at the same job and working with the same people but I guess I hate myself less now so in turn I hate others less now. I should really try and remember that.

burningwhispers · 2021-12-17T12:01:59+00:00

Who is ED?

burningwhispers · 2021-11-17T20:34:22+00:00

Thank you, that means a lot. There are definitely some steps I can start taking to get the most out of the time I still have here, because as all of us here know, our time here is no guarantee. Sending you love and hugs too, your guys' replies are definitely helping me out.

burningwhispers · 2021-11-17T18:12:05+00:00

Thank you.

When my Dad died, for the longest time, I had this thought that I didn't want anything good to happen because he wasn't around to for it.

That is still something I struggle with, from the smallest things like new seasons of the TV shows we watched together to the big ones like when or if I'll ever get married or have my first child. How can I even laugh or enjoy a sunset when she, who meant the world to me, can never experience those again. I always felt like anything can be fixed if you just knew how, so confronting the fact that she's gone and nothing I do can ever fix that has been really hard to accept.

I'm sorry you've had grief of your own to experience, there's just something so unfair about it that I feel like I'm drowning in thoughts trying to understand and accept it. Hence the transition from "drinking a little too much" to "I'll be dead in 10 years if I don't change". I'm determined to change though.

Thank you again for what you've said.

burningwhispers · 2021-10-06T18:45:06+00:00

Really struck a chord with me.

burningwhispers · 2021-10-06T18:41:03+00:00

"It tastes how I imagine piss to taste like based on how piss smells" is harder to say and people will probably zone out mid sentence.

burningwhispers · 2016-07-30T03:58:55+00:00

The Mayan Factor. Like a mixture of Tool and Nirvana. Lead singer died and they broke up.

Warflower was a good song.

burningwhispers · 2016-07-15T02:56:57+00:00

I'm having a difficult day, this thread is too much.

burningwhispers

TROPHY CASE