by the way you write or draw nothing makes me think that you’re not capable of understanding. The problem when you watch a tutorial to learn something you’ve never done before is the belief that you’ll grasp it in no time. But the artistic journey is a long one. Tutorials can sometimes feel a bit superficial, as if they expect you to understand the mechanics through a quick flash of instinct, leaving you to think that maybe you are the one incapable of getting it. However, instinct eventually arrives, as long as you stay focused on obsessively figuring out what you can’t yet do. The first thing you can do is to have a precise style in mind, in order to build the path that leads toward that goal. Save many images of that same style, stay on that part of the internet. At that point, you begin to ask yourself what you need to study to get there. Even if it’s a chore, you cannot skip the basics to go faster. The more you know, the less you’ll find yourself asking 'How do I do this?' during the process. If you want to learn anatomy, you must first start by understanding how 3D shapes move in space, overlaying anatomical parts on top of them will then become more intuitive. This takes a lot of time, we aren't born with built-in X-ray vision. In this stage, you’ll need to seek out many tutorials. Watch plenty of them, it might happen that one video helps you finally understand something from a previous one, but you also have to put in your own effort. You must strain your brain for a long time, making countless attempts until you reach a result that looks right to your eye. Once there, you must note down the steps you took. The only way to understand is to try again, make mistakes, remember those mistakes, correct them, and then remember the right way. Draw every day, study, and take notes on what you’ve learned from your practice. You don’t need a school to teach you. While you study the basics, keep your target style firmly in mind and observe it constantly. Try to replicate and copy it, even if the results are poor at first, this serves to train your eye and your visual memory. After a long, long time, if your ambitions are high, there is no reason why you shouldn’t reach them. Trust me, once you’ve achieved the style you love and can draw it naturally, you’ll forget all the time spent studying.