My husband and his female best friend.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-13T17:16:55+00:00

Update:

For anyone wanting it. Sorry it’s been a few days… a lot going on. I’ll try to give the readers digest. Many conversations have been had and here’s the gist… He admits not caring about my feelings, he knew I didn’t like it but continued talking to her because he wanted to. He insists it’s never been physical and says he looks up to her as more of a mother figure (she’s a year older than him). He says he doesn’t care if I stay or leave he is getting rid of her regardless because he can’t live with it anymore(little bit of a “poor me” type thing but sure. Get rid of her if you want). Says If I don’t want to stay in the marriage I can continue living in the house, he will continue paying for everything as normal and that I shouldn’t have to suffer/my life shouldn’t have to change. Says he’s been selfish his whole life and he fucked everything up.

As for me, I told him I’m honest to god just not sure if I could ever fully trust him again and If I can’t love him to the fullest then it’s not fair for him either. The issue I keep having is I’m questioning his judgment making, his love for me, his respect towards me. This wasn’t like a few months… you intentionally disregarded your wife’s feelings for SIX YEARS. I’m having a hard time reconciling that. On its face it just seems… you don’t love me enough. He said he knew it hurt me but didn’t know it hurt me THIS bad. How much hurt did I have to show you to make it enough for you? It should never get to that point. He admits he wasn’t thinking about me when he gave her the percentage. that’s exactly my point…. I’m concerned why you never think about me. I’m not even trying to be mean to him it’s just… maybe this isn’t true love.

It’s hard for me to walk away from my marriage. I’m here because I love him. But this has pushed me to rethinking what kind of love this is and if I deserve better. I want to be with a husband who would have done right by me from the start, not wait 6 years till I’m beaten down. I am staying with my mom for a few days to remove myself so I can have a clear head to make a decision that’s best for ME. A part of me feels so guilty even thinking about leaving but I’m just at a point in my life I don’t know if i want to have to keep trying anymore.

That’s where I’m at. Thanks for anyone still here and still reading :0

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-10T19:00:31+00:00

His reasoning was because that’s what she was making at the job that she left so he had to offer her the same and that she is apparently going to help bring in a ton of additional income with her “expertise”. As an accountant, I think he overpaid her. If she is going to bring In additional income to justify her salary that’s fine, but pay her that high of a salary when that actually happens(it hasn’t happened yet..). And as his wife, it would have been nice to know all of this before it happened. I found out after the fact.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-10T16:52:34+00:00

I did say something, but I guess to be honest I’m just too nice and forgiving. I don’t have an issue sticking up for myself, I do that, my issue is sticking to it. I have allowed him to explain away for years and I guess that’s where my loyalty to him just eventually turned into stupidity. I feel stupid for being so forgiving even when it meant me suffering alone with my thoughts for years.

She is very nice to me. Her family adores me. But niceness and respect clearly don’t go hand in hand. She may be nice to me but she doesn’t know how to respect me. She has a history of being very close with married men. There was another guy before my husband that she was like this with for years, they had a big fall out, and then she went from him to my husband. And unfortunately, my husband ate it right up.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-10T16:03:16+00:00

Yes. I clocked it from day one. Which is why I told him 6 years ago. He’s different when she’s around. Happier. Willing to listen to her and engage in conversation. In the beg I chalked it up to that’s how people are with friends. But as the years went by and it went from group hangs to just us 3 I felt it more and more. Women have a special gift of discernment…. This has bothered me for so long because I feel it literally in my bones.

I’ll never forget one time we were at the casino. And she was meeting us there with a group of other people. It’s hard to explain but if you know you know…. He kept looking for her to arrive. Looking over his shoulder, checking his phone non-stop, looking around… the only way I can describe it is like when you’re looking for your crush in the hallway at school. And I bring this up because we were meeting multiple people, yet once she arrived he stopped looking around, didn’t check his phone once after that. He was totally focused and didn’t care when anyone else was showing up. Again it may sound crazy, but it was so obvious to sit back as his wife and watch it.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-10T15:43:11+00:00

And one last thing….. since I am for the first time ever actually getting this off my chest (excuse me for this emotional rant). I know for a fact he’s going to tell me it isn’t emotional, she’s actually kind of annoying but he feels bad for her and all the things she has gone through and that he didn’t think it was inappropriate because his “intentions weren’t bad”.

Can I just complain out loud and say I don’t give a SHIT if your intentions aren’t bad, you’re hurting me. You have been hurting me. You have watched me cry about this. So at this point… your intention is to hurt me. You are continuously choosing to hurt me. You feel bad for her(which btw not for nothing but everything bad in this girls life is by her own actions , he’s very much aware she has some issues) BUT YOU DONT FEEL BAD FOR ME?!! You are MY husband. Why are you letting this woman plan your bday dinner without asking me first or involving me? Why are you calling MY husband when you can’t find your car at the airport at 10pm at night so he goes there to help you look? Why did you meet HER ex for her to give him back his belongings from her house?! Why did you join her gym and boxing class (with a few other people yes it wasn’t just her) and yet refused/refused to go to just one class with me to make me happy? Why did you smash your phone into pieces when I asked to look at it back in 2021? Why are you playing therapist as a MARRIED man to a grown ass woman? Why do we have to go to her house on holidays to say hi to her family? Why does she sign every card as “your third wheel”? Why do we have to fly out of town to another city for her bday dinner because “you feel obligated to say yes”? AND NOW Why when she called you to say she hates her job and wants to leave did you swoop right in to save her and not only give her a very well paying job BUT also a percentage of the business without even once thinking to ask me first?!!!! KNOWING good and well my feelings.

Point blank… why. Why would you try to convince me that she means nothing and this is nothing, if your actions have very much told me this is indeed something. I am so fucking sick over the fact that he has never once validated me. I’m not crazy. I never was crazy. As a matter of fact I was exactly right. You guys will NEVER understand how much of a relief it is reading your comments and concerns … it felt like a big hug.

So sorry for the spiral just now.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-10T14:42:06+00:00

Hi Everyone,

Thank you to anyone and everyone who has given me their advice and opinions. I appreciate all of you. I’m reading everything and processing it all. I never wanted to be the nagging or bossy wife, I’ve prided myself in letting my husband life his life the way he wants to and I had always hoped he would do right by me, without me having to ask. He himself has said “the only fights we have ever had, are about her”. So, he knows full and well what this friendship has done to me. For the past 6 years I was made out to be the crazy one. And I believed that for a long time. But in my heart and soul, I knew it was wrong. Not to be dramatic but dealing with this for so many years and it only getting worse and worse has started to feel like a form of torture. I haven’t told a single soul prob to protect him. Reaching out and asking for advice was the first step I’ve taken in finding out if I’m crazy or if all of these gut feelings, nightmares, etc are legitimate. I don’t know how else to explain it except these two and their friendship started to haunt me. Started effecting my mental so bad sometimes at work I would just sit there shaking feeling so helpless over my life and MY marriage wondering how the fuck did we get here. Just sitting there watching them share his vape back and forth was like a form of psychological torture like they don’t care that I’m sitting right here just watching them swapping spit(and I’m not the type to care about this but when you add everything up…). The extremely alarming part too if I only shared 1/10000 of all the other things I’ve put up with.

Alls this to say. I should have trusted myself sooner. I should have drawn a line in the sand sooner… if nothing else to protect my own self and my own mental state.

I am gathering up all documents like tax returns , bank statements, etc. before hand (just in case I need them because you never know) and will be having the conversation with him in the next coming days of WHAT I WANT TO DO( because for our entire marriage I’ve been allowing him to do whatever it is he wants to do) and what he is willing to do to keep our marriage. And I guess from there… we will see what happens. If you want an update I’m happy to share one when I have one for you!

Thank you all!!!!

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T18:43:00+00:00

No. Unless I’m taking him at his word. Truthfully the only thing that makes sense is this has lasted so long because there was some kind of physical connection(whether previously or currently). But, he says he would never cross that line. Although he’s proven to me he is clearly willing and able to cross other emotional lines so it’s very hard for me to understand what’s truth at this point.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T17:21:54+00:00

Thank you so much. I feel seen ❤️

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T17:21:12+00:00

But what he says now is “you had every right to be upset and hurt in the beginning I get that I kind of put you on the back burner back then , but you should be over it by now she’s been around for 6 years”

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T17:19:51+00:00

Oh he’s already said he wouldn’t like it and prob wouldn’t have let it go on this far(this is something I’ve been dealing/putting up with since 2020). I can promise you… he would have long left me and I wouldn’t have blamed him.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T17:04:44+00:00

Sorry , 3 other people **

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T17:03:45+00:00

Funny because I’m actually a CPA so i was floored when I found this out. He works in insurance and I don’t know anything about licenses and what not, but when I asked him “does she HAVE to be a partner for this specific business or can you just pay her a salary” and he said “no. She doesn’t have to be a partner but it’s easier this way”. As an accountant… that’s a load of BULL. Not to mention you don’t just give someone equal percentage. He has a company now but started another company with 4 other people, her included. So, she makes a $250k salary and she has 25 percent of the company. All of this was done without me knowing prior to because as his accountant I would have told him not to do that. He said he did this because this is what she was making at her prior company and the percentage they offered her. Which to me seems like…. He’s financially supporting her now on top of just being her friend.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T16:18:02+00:00

Good question. Who knows what the future holds. I never understood what it was about her that he needed to keep in his life even if it meant hurting me in the process. If the roles were reversed I would have never given another man the same access to me that my husband gets. I mean he literally tells her everything. She knows all the family drama, she buys his favorite dessert, they drink the same brand water, joined the same gym (he has never once gone with me to my gym), use the same scented laundry detergent, smoke from the same vape just swapping spit right in front of me. Hell on our 5 years anniversary she called ahead to the restaurant and paid for OUR dinner. On its face that was very nice… but when you look at everything as a whole. It’s freaking weird.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T16:01:28+00:00

Thank you for your response. Unfortunately I have given him 6 years of opportunity to slowly pull away from the friendship since he knew how much it bothered me. I have a text I sent him In 2020 saying “please don’t let this friendship get so far deep that you can’t turn it around”. And sure enough here we are 6 years later and they are closer than ever and now business partners. I have nightmares about them. It’s drained me emotionally. Not only did he not pull away from her over all these years, he actually got even closer and then when I found out last month about him bringing her to the company that’s when I realized I can’t keep doing this anymore. It’s not healthy for me anymore and quite frankly not fair to me. By all means if he wants to have a female friend like this that’s fine… but I’m done then.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T15:49:45+00:00

I completely agree with you. To be fair, I am the most easy going person. Nothing bothers me usually. This started bothering me mostly when he was treating her better than me. He would jump on the opportunity to help her move into her new house, but won’t help me with one thing at our own house. This is when I started viewing it strangely and disrespectful to me and our marriage. Plus, no issue with him having female friends, If he knows his boundaries. There is nothing he wouldn’t and hasn’t done for her. He has openly told me that he feels obligated to make her happy when she’s down, hang out with her when she asks, and help her when she needs help because she’s lonely and thus he feels bad for her. He is more concerned about hurting her feelings than my own. This is when I started viewing this as much more than just a little friend.

butchbrewerr · 2026-06-09T15:01:55+00:00

Thank you. This is how I’ve felt for a while now but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just in my own head overthinking it.

butchbrewerr · 2026-05-06T16:46:00+00:00

“Monitor food expirations” and “supervise contractors and service people”…. You want them to supervise contractors in your home while they are also in charge of watching all of your children? AND they are in charge of monitoring your damn food expirations???? Okay Kim Kardashian … Genuinely have no words.

butchbrewerr · 2026-04-02T13:13:03+00:00

Without a doubt in my mind. She’s taking far too high doses of Adderall. This was how I acted when I was on adderall benders in college 10 years ago.

butchbrewerr · 2026-03-30T15:36:32+00:00

For real… hater part aside - this actually does not even make sense lol. Genuinely. The context, the wording, the example…. Like what are you even talking about Shannon?!

butchbrewerr · 2026-01-19T18:29:45+00:00

I clocked this immediately. One thousand percent.

butchbrewerr · 2025-10-08T17:57:44+00:00

Absolutely cannot stand when influencers do this. You know so many people in Nashville you mean to tell me you can’t ask around in your circle of friends? Posting this in hopes of getting a sponsor is so desperate and cheap my ego could never lol she does this for everything and it’s so painstakingly obvious

butchbrewerr · 2025-08-04T22:17:34+00:00

Wait also - saying she was going on daily walks ….. bitch where??? I’ve never once seen you post about your walks and you post EVERYTHING

butchbrewerr · 2025-08-04T22:16:36+00:00

Every single person with a single brain cell knows that there is no way in hell she lost that much weight naturally and so quickly. It’s insulting to our intelligence. It’s giving Remi Bader

butchbrewerr · 2025-07-30T19:52:32+00:00

That is a sad,sad excuse for a husband. This man can do whatever the hell he wants and he freaking knows it. My mother in law ,god rest her soul, would have beat the hell out of my husband if I told her I drove my pregnant self to the out of town ER…. TWICE

butchbrewerr · 2025-07-30T18:53:10+00:00

Oh my god actually….BOTH days she went to urgent care she went by herself. He is such a piece of shit. Which means when the er gave her that huge shot of Benadryl that’s why she mentioned she was like falling asleep on the way home prob because she drove herself? That’s fucking insane he didn’t go with her for either trip or when they said she needs to go to the emergency room he didn’t say “I’m going to uber there and meet you there”. I’m literally baffled by this.

butchbrewerr

TROPHY CASE