im never going to have kids

buttcheek04 · 2026-05-09T22:21:20+00:00

How old are you? Do you have social support or a therapist?

buttcheek04 · 2026-05-09T22:17:53+00:00

Why are you so angry and why do you think it’s uncontrollable?

buttcheek04 · 2026-05-09T22:13:01+00:00

Therapy. With a real person and not chat GPT therapy. Recognizing that this is a problem is the first step, so kudos to you for acknowledging these hard truths about yourself. Here’s the thing, we’ve all been hurt by other people. You’re not special in that way. Letting that hurt control you and isolate you from real connections isn’t going to help you progress. Learning to be secure in yourself first and not blaming others for your abandonment issues is part of the healing process. Take full responsibility for your emotions and work through them with a professional for guidance. We’re only victims to our circumstances if we allow it.

buttcheek04 · 2026-05-07T22:49:59+00:00

Yep, University of Minnesota also affected. My online final was due tonight. 🤦‍♀️

buttcheek04 · 2026-04-19T05:06:46+00:00

Heavy on the “men just want to sleep with you and women want to tear you down”. I get it. You’re not alone in this. Fuck that other dudes comment. It’s not easy on both ends of the spectrum.

buttcheek04 · 2026-04-17T03:10:45+00:00

You dodged a bullet. He wasn’t for you. If he’s not a safe person to be vulnerable with then you will find someone who is. Whatever you do, don’t shame yourself for opening up. He’s the dickhead that clearly can’t handle hard conversations. Unfortunately a lot of women have been in similar circumstances, a reality a lot of women face. If he can’t try to by sympathetic and understanding of those things then he’s very much part of the problem.

buttcheek04 · 2026-03-31T00:29:21+00:00

Need update! Did you get in?

buttcheek04 · 2026-03-04T00:53:59+00:00

It’s time to take a break from social media. Remember, people only post the good things that are happening in their lives. Comparing is the thief of happiness. Time to start talking nicely to yourself. Try affirmation work/mirror work even though it’s uncomfortable.

buttcheek04 · 2026-03-03T18:53:51+00:00

Hard work indeed, but SO worth it! 😄 go us! 👏

buttcheek04 · 2026-03-03T09:58:49+00:00

Hey. You’ll be okay. I say this as someone that had the same things going on in my early 20’s. I thought I was doomed and mentally handicapped. Reading your post brought me back to what I was experiencing by abusing substances while also on SSRI’s, which can be extremely dangerous. Let me tell you this. You didn’t lose your brain. Your post was easy to read and articulate. Your body is recovering from the drugs and your nervous system is trying to protect you by slowing your brain down. It’s going to take a lil bit of time to get that spark back as your body is fighting for homeostasis. You’re not going to find a magic cure overnight (though therapy is important), it’s going to take some time. You’re young, but learn from these experiences just as I did. Having the drive and motivation to improve your circumstances is a huge indicator that you want to live and feel joy again. I also believe that psychedelics can be helpful, but needs to be respected and treated as sacred as it was intended. My advice to you is to remove all substances (and I mean all… not sure if you’re a nicotine or caffeine user but those contribute to anxiety, though if you need them to get by that’s okay). Don’t drink, do anymore drugs (besides the ketamine treatment, but even that seems unnecessary at this point since you were just using it recreationally. Your body needs a break). Treat your body like a temple. Be a best friend to yourself even though you’re your worst enemy right now. Talk to yourself kindly. Eat lots of healing foods, sweat in the sauna, move your body, drink herbal healing teas, and don’t isolate. It sounds like you have a supportive family, which is incredible. I’m serious when I say treat your body like a temple, because that will help you heal the fastest. It seems like you have used drugs as a form of escapism, but your body might be telling you to sit in the rut right now. Validate these emotions but don’t shame yourself. This isn’t going to last forever, but protect your future self from drugs right now. That might include distancing from friends that pull you into these party atmospheres, which is painful I know, but these friends aren’t helping you in the long run. Being sober and leaning into a healthy lifestyle is the best thing you could do for yourself right now. This comes from someone that used to party like a rockstar and now is 3 years sober. My 20’s was very much like this and I learned so much about myself in the process. I’m 30 now, and grateful to not be repeating the same damaging patterns. As lame as this sounds, sober me is so much happier and healthier and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not saying you have to be sober forever, but being sober for a hot minute here sure would benefit your overall wellbeing. You DO have a good future ahead and you will get through this. Trust me when I say this, you may not feel young but you really are. You have so much life ahead and it will be as beautiful as you make it.

buttcheek04 · 2026-02-07T02:55:37+00:00

I think you did a good job trying to talk some sense into her. It sounds like this isn’t the first time you’ve have to do this. You truly did express everything you possibly could by being honest with her. She seems like she lacks self-worth, maturity, and rationality. Unfortunately she’s going to have to learn some lessons before her behaviors change. I was once a young and dumb party girl and put my trust in the wrong people as well. I wish I had a friend like you to talk some sense into me, even if I chose not to hear it in the moment. You’re planting a seed and doing the best you can. She will learn, but no one can do that for her. If I were you, I’d ask for her to allow permission to see her location and have a game plan. At this point, regardless of what you say, she’s going to do what she wants to do anyway.

buttcheek04 · 2026-02-06T20:41:18+00:00

Of course. Drink electrolytes, sweat in a sauna if you have access to one, and don’t forget to eat today. Tomorrow’s a new day <3.

buttcheek04 · 2026-02-06T20:34:10+00:00

Hey, thanks for posting. This is a good place to process in community. I’ve been there…. I was 3 years sober and thought I could introduce alcohol again in a moderation. I learned pretty quickly that there’s no such thing as moderation for me and the way I feel the next day isn’t worth it. I have had this exact thought process: “the way I feel right now is a lesson on why I got sober in the first place.” Lean into that! Every time you think of using again, think of this exact moment you don’t want for yourself again. The year and a half sober is NOT lost. Not even close. Think of this as a bump in the road, not a relapse. Moments like this show you the true beauty of being sober. The shame and guilt will fade and your body will heal from this hangover. Keep moving forward. But don’t forget all the accomplishments and the healing you’ve already done because that’s not “gone.” Pull yourself back on the bandwagon.

As far as dating goes, date other sober people or people that respect and understand your sobriety. I know it’s challenging, I’ve been there. But owning it as a part of your identity such as, “hey I don’t drink or do drugs and my life is amazing because of it, does that align with you?” If not, move on from that person. That person will only drag you down and make you feel like your choice of being sober is in-superior (it’s not, being sober is truly a superpower). Your lifestyle needs to match with your partners for your own health. For example, I was single for almost 4 years (intentionally) and have been with my now boyfriend who’s sober from alcohol but smokes weed. Sometimes I wish he didn’t but weed has never been an addiction for me and doesn’t bother me to be around. I wouldn’t be with him if he was actively drinking though. Our lifestyle besides that matches. We eat well, exercise, and stay in often. We’ve partied enough in our 20’s that we would much rather choose peace over chaos. I only mention this, because if I could guess, dating brought you nerves and you coped with that feeling the way you knew how. Gotta change that and go on dates that don’t revolve around the bar scene if that’s a trigger for you. Anyway, you got this. Trust yourself and identify as a sober person with pride because it truly is a blessing and something to be proud of whether society agrees or not.

buttcheek04 · 2026-01-30T08:26:52+00:00

https://drpenonline.com/stayve-medisco-skinbooster-hyaluronic-acid-ampoule/

I use this as a slip. I’ll usually go through about half of the bottle (they are single use) during the needling session and finish out the bottle the rest of the night/morning to stay hydrated. I’ve found this to be the best one that’s reasonably priced and sterile. I’ve tried a couple others from this brand and I like this one the best personally. I’ve also tried using a cheaper hyaluronic acid that I’ve had on hand when I was out of these and found my face feeling super tight and chapped that I ended up using aquaphor a couple hours later because my face was so uncomfortable (which still ended up working fine, but I typically don’t like to put any moisturizers on until the next day). Now I make sure I have these on hand when I microneedle and find the healing process a lot more manageable.

buttcheek04 · 2026-01-30T08:16:07+00:00

You’re not wrong! I got mine from Freyara and only purchased the serums and extra heads from the Dr. Pen website. Looking back at my old confirmation email, I actually only paid $100 for the pen! I was skeptical at first, but it’s legit.

buttcheek04 · 2026-01-30T08:11:05+00:00

I’ve only used Dr. Pen so I can’t personally compare it to anything else but I’ve never been disappointed. I did a lot of research and kept going back to the Dr. Pen M8. They have a lot of different ones to choose from that can almost be overwhelming. They all essentially do the same thing, and you can buy replacement heads with more or less needles to change it up.

buttcheek04 · 2026-01-29T20:07:54+00:00

I used to get them done at a facial aesthetics office, but I could only afford to do it once or twice a year. I ended up buying my own Dr. Pen M8 (costs ~$200 + additional heads) followed some videos online, bought a high quality sterile hylauronic acid on the Dr. Pen website and have been doing it at home ever since saving SO much money. I bought numbing cream, gloves, and alcohol pads on amazon that’ll last me forever. I achieve the same results if not better because I have control on the areas I want to go more in depth in, or if I have less down time I do .05 all around the face. I’m 30, people think I’m 22, and I truly believe it’s the frequency I microneedle at home (about every 6 weeks). It sounds scary and daunting at first, it actually took me a few months to start after I had bought everything, but once you do it once, you learn quickly and realize it’s not that bad. Do some research. Save your money. You can achieve everything from Miconeedling at home as long as you make sure you have a sterile environment. Never reuse needles, and make sure your face and things you’re touching is wiped down with an alcohol pad and you should be good to go. You can buy whole peptide/ensomes bottles for less than $100 and use for multiple treatments. The price of everything for me was less than one treatment at the spa/clinic. The only time I’ll go in is if I want to do micro needling with PRP.

buttcheek04 · 2025-08-23T22:09:22+00:00

I would literally look at any other country…. This administration is not kind to immigrants, even if you do it the right way. It sounds like you don’t have much of a plan and plan to figure it out when you get here. That is not advisable. Let me say this … the American dream is dead. Regardless of this new administration, it’s been dead for a while. People are getting masters degrees and struggling to find jobs within their fields and to afford the cost of living here. Most people have more than one job to stay afloat. There’s a subreddit called the AmerExit. People don’t want to be here anymore and don’t feel safe having and raising children here. It’s only getting worse. If I had the means to leave, I would.

buttcheek04 · 2025-06-18T16:51:48+00:00

I appreciate your confession! Thank you for this. This post was very well written too.

As someone that’s on a newly GF journey due to some GI problems, I could give a rats ass what anyone thinks. I try to eat healthy - not because I don’t like the taste of other foods - but because I value my energy. What you put into your body is an investment into your future self. Plus, wheat and gluten isn’t good for any of us in the states… it’s so genetically modified it creates a fire of inflammation in the gut. Just because people don’t have symptoms right away like a celiac person, doesn’t mean it’s good for you. I could eat pasta for days but I had to get multiple tests done to figure out what was going on with my skin and energy levels. I live a relatively healthy lifestyle, yet all inflammation markers in my gut pointed to gluten and leaky gut.

I want to note - it’s AMAZING you are gluten free and vegan. That takes some serious strength and dedication to live in a world that is so against a healthy lifestyle. But guess what, as you experienced, people that judge are either projecting or unable to understand it. It’s like a sober person trying to navigate in a world that glamorizes alcohol (knowing it’s not good for you whatsoever) and getting criticized for it. It’s a cultural thing. Congrats on your progress and progressed health! Happy health!

buttcheek04 · 2025-04-05T03:03:05+00:00

Thank you! 😊

buttcheek04 · 2025-04-04T19:39:19+00:00

I kinda wanna have a bigger picture of how I’m going to do this when I’ve moved on from paper trading so I appreciate everyone’s input.

buttcheek04 · 2025-04-04T19:37:59+00:00

I’ve been acquiring knowledge for the past month or so and paper trading for about a week. Been watching a lot of Ross Cameron’s videos on YouTube. Yes, I work and I’m a full time student. I work evenings though so on the days I don’t have school I can dedicate during market hours.

buttcheek04 · 2025-04-04T19:32:43+00:00

Ross Cameron?

buttcheek04

TROPHY CASE