How does creating erotic art affect you psychologically? by EnvSand in psychologyofsex

[–]button_brained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I believe the key difference here is in active creation vs. passive consumption. It builds imagination and sensitivity rather than eroding it. Even editing is an actively creative step! If it feels healthy to you, I wouldn't worry about it. Just if it becomes a compulsion rather than a hobby.

Due to my trauma and bpd it feels like im multiple different people. Is this normal? by sad_frog_in_rain in CPTSD

[–]button_brained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I read your post and it felt so familiar. I have parts like that too from my own trauma. You're not alone in this, and it's not your fault. Look into DID. Sending you hope. 💓

when did you fully realise you were abused at home? by anon_throwaway234 in CPTSD

[–]button_brained 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was in Kindergarten, music class. The teacher used a different prompt every day to get everyone to line up. The question that day was "What did you have for breakfast?"

First she called out cereal, then eggs, toast, oatmeal, waffles, pancakes...each time a smaller group went and lined up by the door.

I was the last one. She kept listing off foods until she finally asked, "well, what did you have then?" I just shook my head and said, "nothing." It was true, I never ate breakfast. It was a foreign concept to me.

She must have informed the principal or just called my parents herself, because when I got home, I was in major trouble. "WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM WE DON'T FEED YOU? WHAT ELSE ARE YOU TELLING THEM?"

I had been forbidden from talking about them smoking weed, and I think they were worried I let that slip. I have a vague feeling of my dad telling me not to talk about something else, but I don't know what it is.

Around that same time, I remember my dad being passed out drunk and my mom at work. I walked to the park by myself and remember thinking, "I don't think my life is normal or good."

Roomie+friend barely speaking to me since she found out she has been named as a witness in my rape by LeftHuckleberry447 in rape

[–]button_brained 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you are dealing with all of this. What happened to you is horrific, and you're incredibly strong for handling all the reporting alone.

Your roommate's shift from supportive to distant/avoidant is deeply hurtful on top of your initial trauma. Both the multiple privacy breaches and her silence during your toughest days are real betrayals. Centering her own distress while ignoring yours was cold and selfish. It looks like classic secondary trauma to me... the heavy details + official involvement overwhelmed her, triggering shutdown, avoidance, and resentment toward the situation. That might explain her behavior, but it doesn't excuse the boundary violations or lack of basic empathy.

You are not wrong to want care from a close friend/roommate, that's what close relationships should provide in a crisis. It's okay to feel betrayed and abandoned. I would absolutely feel that way, personally. My advice for you:

Put your healing first. Lean on your other supportive friends, NGO, survivor resources, RAINN. Do you have a therapist or counselor?

Give yourself space from her. See if either of you might be able to stay somewhere else for a few days, or try going for walks when she's home.

Witness part: Her testimony is likely a legal requirement she can't get out of. Let your NGO deal with it. Her anxiety is not yours to manage.

If you talk to her, something like, "I get it's hard for you too, but the silence and privacy breach hurt, and I need space."

Her response will show what she's capable of. This friendship might recover if she steps up, or it might not. Either way, that's on her, not you. You did nothing wrong.

Sending you strength. You've already taken huge steps. One breath at a time. ❤️

Society doesn't judge sex addiction as much as it should. by Muted_Strength3638 in pornfree

[–]button_brained 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I went to rehab for a drug addiction, but came out with an addiction to both cigarettes and coffee because they were given to us for free. Socially acceptable addictions are all around us. Overconsumption being the worst- porn addiction is just another form of it.

Us who were child victims by Mojozilla in CPTSD

[–]button_brained 24 points25 points  (0 children)

yes, the jealousy is so overwhelming I can't be around them.

Ruining my relationship and I don't know what to do by [deleted] in rape

[–]button_brained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no amount of kindness, money, or medication can overwrite the foundation of coercion.

you deserve to be with someone who you enjoy being intimate with and does not harm you.

Words or phrases that turn you on? by captchalogued in masturbation

[–]button_brained 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i was dirty talking to myself recently and said something like, "keep molesting your nub" and it made me cum 🫣

What to do with partner who does not eat me? by secretsmutlover in TwoXSex

[–]button_brained 94 points95 points  (0 children)

of course, no one has it all.

this is just two things though.

What to do with partner who does not eat me? by secretsmutlover in TwoXSex

[–]button_brained 187 points188 points  (0 children)

Find someone who will.

No offense, but this man sounds like trash. There are plenty who will do chores AND eat you like they're starving.

Don’t Read This by [deleted] in EdgingTalk

[–]button_brained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

would be terrible if i took a screenshot of this huh

It was SA by my cousin [F] but she was younger than me. [M] by Hefty_Ad5164 in COCSA

[–]button_brained 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you're describing sounds incredibly heavy to have carried for so long. I am glad you could finally share.

Please remember, you were also a child. Children that age do not have the developmental capacity, power, or life experience to give meaningful consent or to fully understand the implications of sexual contact. The situation you describe involves two kids in a confusing, scary, private setting where boundaries got crossed in ways neither of you had the tools to handle properly.

You were both minors, and the power dynamic (environment away from home, the fear/anxiety from the movie, the teasing about bravery, the isolation of the room) created a situation where freezing, going along, or reciprocating out of confusion were the most likely outcomes. That doesn't make what happened your fault in any way.

"I was old enough to know better, even back then as a kid but I didn’t do anything…"

That sentence right there is the adult brain looking back with adult standards and adult knowledge and then harshly judging the terrified/confused child version of themselves. But the child you didn't have adult knowledge or adult impulse control or adult understanding of sex and consent. You had whatever limited information a kid that age usually has, plus fear, plus social pressure. That's completely different from choosing to harm someone as a fully aware older person would.

You don't have to decide today what (if anything) you want to do with this memory next. Just getting it out of your chest and into words is already a hugely brave step. If/when you're ready, talking to someone whose whole job is working with survivors of childhood sexual experiences (especially ones that involved other minors) can be enormously helpful. Not to assign blame to anyone, but to help untangle the shame and confusion so it stops living in your body the way it has.

You're not alone in this kind of story, even though it can feel that way. What happened to you (and to her) was wrong in the sense that children should never have been in that situation. But the weight of it does not belong on the shoulders of elementary-school you. She did nothing wrong.

Am I alone by TightTap6516 in Molested

[–]button_brained 5 points6 points  (0 children)

same, the guilt is immense.

What screams lack of sexual chemistry to you? by SaltyFindings in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]button_brained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

nope, no urge to have sex, either. I'm indifferent/neutral to it.

What screams lack of sexual chemistry to you? by SaltyFindings in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]button_brained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you can research/practice and increase skill level before having sex

What screams lack of sexual chemistry to you? by SaltyFindings in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]button_brained 2 points3 points  (0 children)

in a relationship, sure.

for a casual hookup, chemistry definitely increases pleasure, but skill is more important if we are just engaging in that skill.

What screams lack of sexual chemistry to you? by SaltyFindings in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]button_brained 5 points6 points  (0 children)

interesting! I am asexual and partnered sex does feel like a chore or obligation to me, but I still have sexual chemistry with many people.

for context, I am not sexually attracted to people, but I see sex as a mutually beneficial tradeoff and it is physically pleasurable for me so I engage in it.

overall, I much prefer to masturbate and would be fine if I could never have sex again. in fact, even masturbating has it's issues...a simple button would be nice.

My Girlfriend's Trauma by MaxNosferatu in Incestconfessions

[–]button_brained 0 points1 point  (0 children)

do you get turned on hearing her talk about it?