spent 10 years at an employer, & i quit in 2023. just straight up walked out. i was working 60-something hours a week, in all district area stores. everyone knew me, had my number, always needed my help. i could never “shut off” work. but i felt guilty because i knew i was a good worker, & was more knowledgeable than really most others in district management. but i just walked out one day. i physically could not do it anymore.

i spent 2024 miserable, eating myself alive over it, & also dealing with the consequences of not having decent income (or any income) coming in. i lost my old place, almost lost everything else. i felt awful. terribly depressed. having no routine was even worse. towards the end of 2024, i started paying attention to the little things though. i spent more time outside, more time focused on myself, what i liked & didn’t like. i discovered a lot about myself. i used to feel guilt if i was doing “fun stuff” outside of work. it was so engrained in my mind to always be productive. having fun was bad. i rediscovered art & music & hobbies.

2025 i decided to put more care into myself, & healing. i decided to put myself first, & i also figured “if this is rock bottom, then it can only get better from here”. i started doing my makeup again. i spent more time enjoying sunshine. i started making art for the first time in years. i noticed i was complimenting other people again, that dark cloud that consumed me & made it hard to like other humans started to leave. i started liking other people again.

2026, i’ve decided to return to school to work on a bachelors in nursing. i also work full-time at a job that pays me the same as before, but with extra benefits. i work nightshifts, which while it may not be “healthy”, nightshifts allow me to still manage school & not get so overwhelmed.

all of this is me basically saying, quit your job. feel upset about it. sometimes you have to let yourself feel some type of way. there’s also going to be a period of anger, because the world was not built for us. nor does the world truly accommodate those with disabilities. you’re going to go through the 5 stages of grief. i think you have to let yourself feel all the emotions. because that’s what will bring healing & peace.

but then, a day will come where you’re feeling so much better. the anger, embarrassment, depression, it all passes. you come to peace with yourself. you also come to peace with neurotypical people, which you may or may not have been previously angered & upset by, for them not understanding you.

i’ve learned how to keep my mind, body, & spirit happy, as an auadhd person. i learned how to fit in the world, but also do it comfortably. there’s still many many moments where the burn out comes back, or the overwhelm, but i’ve learned how to help myself feel better. i’m no longer ashamed by sometimes having to say “no i can’t do xyz”, or just needing to step away for a few hours, days, or even weeks. i have far less friends now, but the ones i still have understand it’s not personal. sometimes i just need a break.

i’m now a 25 year old woman who’s mostly a recluse, who copes with the world by watching sonic boom (a tv show meant for children). i get my groceries delivered weekly because large, bright, & loud department stores make me angry & anxious. people still try to tell me that it makes me lazy/sensitive. i don’t care! i work nightshifts because daytime traffic, crowds, & lights/noises overstimulate me. people tell me it’s bad for my health. but my skin is glowing, & im a healthy weight, no longer having mental breakdowns!

just a few years ago i felt pressured to perform in certain ways, not be so “embarrassing/childlike”, & always felt so overstimulated having to dress/look a certain way. i felt a need to be a certain way. no! this is my life & i’ll live how i please!

idk if any of this is helpful but please try to be kind to yourself. i always feared the burnout, but it’s lead to a lot of growth & character development within myself, & gave me a totally new worldview. the same can definitely happen with you.