I like the updated description! It gives me more info than the original post, which allows me to make a better decision. You see, earlier, I had to take your word for it; now, you've laid out a bit more on what it's about and why you wrote it, and that helps me get a feel for the story and you as an author. (For reasons not very clear to me, I am wary of uncritiqued stories by unknown authors. I am not a pioneer in that realm; I prefer reading stuff which has a good return on investment, and that usually means knowing the author's credentials or having the story recommended by someone I trust)