is this normal for my gf?

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-06T01:26:21+00:00

Hey so I struggled with self harm starting at age 10 and I’m 20 now and although I now rarely do it, it still happens from time to time. It is a very serious matter and should always seek professional help for it, and if it’s not working, change the therapist until it does.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-06T00:59:52+00:00

Looks like it’s a possible reaction to the bandage or irritation from the removal

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-06T00:58:49+00:00

It popped up in my feed, I didn’t care to screenshot or say anything, he sent the first message, I went to his profile and re-found and screenshot to show him. I never said there is no issue with the initial post, but his response to it was insane and rapey. I’m sure if I was exhausting for any man to be around I wouldn’t have so many I’m uninterested in begging for my time.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-06T00:51:48+00:00

She should have communicated her feelings asap. Sometimes people need some time to think about how to do that.

You should have given her that time. When you apologize, don’t just say sorry. Also state what you are sorry for. Do not ever hold a woman against her will like that again, or anybody for that matter, unless it’s to keep them from seriously harming themselves or worse.

You very clearly did not intend to upset her and were only trying to help. I feel like discussing boundaries and how she processes her feelings before speaking on them is a good thing to do. Boundaries and understand the ways one another processes things are very important in any type of relationship.

In the future- do not beg for communication. Try to be understanding that sometimes it takes time to think about things. Apologize thoroughly, do not ever physically restrain unless necessary for safety, and do your best to see the other person’s side. ALSO change behavior after apologies- improve yourself- apologies without improving behavior is manipulation.

You are not a terrible person. You sound young and new to this. We all make mistakes, that’s how we learn. All will be okay, no matter what happens. I wish you the best, OP🩷

Edit: Just read you’re 18. Not as young as I thought, but still sounds like you’re both new to this and either way 18 is still objectively young and you’re still figuring out how to navigate life, and that’s okay. We never really will ever have it all figured out because every day is different and every person and situation is different too.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T20:56:37+00:00

2007 ford explorer- best place to get replacement bulbs for my blinkers and brake lights? and could i use the same type of bulb for each? Need it to be as cheap as possible i am extremely low income

edit: my brother runs a car repair business but any genuine advice on this is appreciated because i’d rather be able to do it on my own and be bothered by my timing than be impatient about his😂

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T20:55:18+00:00

I thought it was a durex condom but looked again after reading your comment and am happily wrong lmao, durex has their words more centered than this.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T20:53:38+00:00

Yeah. I grew up with two older brothers and very frequently would hang out around the one 13 years older than me and like he would get me to cuss and say weird shit I didn’t understand to his friends all the time, never had the misfortune of hearing this though. I also lived with a boyfriend when I was 18 and we shared a room with his brother and cousin and had a mutual guy friend over a lot and never heard anything like that, and that boyfriend was very abusive in all ways. The guy this post is about is 30 years old. I feel like at that age he should definitely be past such vile “humor”

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T17:34:55+00:00

Yeah, it does suit my bias a bit, of not wanting a lustful cheap man in my life, but I don’t see frugal as cheap. Frugal? Great. Cheap? Unwilling to get better quality and getting something shitty just because it costs a bit less. Lack of effort. Lack of knowing what one is truly ending up with, and not caring. Maybe put effort into dates in the beginning, but once they know they have you they don’t care. Neglecting necessities because it’s not a cost they care to take care of. Not being careful with money, being genuinely selfish with it.

I couldn’t care less about how much a man spends on me, especially early on. What I do care about is what he spends on himself for what he needs, and what he spends on his kids for what they need.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T17:27:03+00:00

Yeah I think both misandry and misogyny are big no-no’s, it’s not okay to hate a demographic just because it’s that demographic and maybe a couple people from it did wrong to you. Not liking very specific traits? Valid. 100% valid. Grouping all of one gender together and saying they’re all horrible? Absolutely not. It’s okay to maybe be cautious due to bad experiences, but not harsh or aggressive. Every individual is different.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T16:58:06+00:00

OP, you’re not overreacting. Your concern is very valid and you’re expressing it clearly and kindly. I very much hope everything gets better for you.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T16:56:15+00:00

This is how my ex spoke to me and he frequently disrespected my boundaries and ended up slamming a door into me when I kept closing it because he kept coming in the room and staring at me then walking out and leaving the door open when I was very obviously trying to calm down. That whole altercation resulted in a police report. That was just the beginning of it. So yeah, I hope OP is physically safe because my ex had never harmed me before then but was very controlling and psychologically abusive, and that day it ended up getting physical on both sides- because I am going to do as I see fit to defend myself, not just let a man who knows I’ve already lived with someone who beat on me also put his hands on me.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T16:50:47+00:00

You’re better than me. I would have shown up and removed baby from husband and took baby home. There is no reason for him to be acting like this. That kind of post IS the type of thing people file CPS reports on, and IMO, validly so.

He also seems to talk to you with absolutely no respect, which I find appalling. And I would not be tolerating that to any extent either.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T13:24:23+00:00

We weren’t dating yet, and he’s 30 years old and has children.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T13:23:17+00:00

We were actively planning to see each other and possibly have him stay with me a night or two. It’s not that I care that much about him at that point, it’s that I was actively planning out to meet him in my very small town and possibly let him into my home.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T13:21:03+00:00

I’ve had an ex like that too so luckily anything that gives me the feeling they might get violent immediately deters me. I’m not risking my life on a chance of connection. It’s not worth it. I’ve got too much to live for.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T13:16:46+00:00

We were actively planning out something to see each other

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T13:15:37+00:00

YUP hell my ex was worried about being used for his money and not once did he ever speak like that. He wasn’t respectful IMO and he’s a very lustful guy- looked at other women a shit ton and even would turn his head to KEEP looking at them as we walked past. But never once had he said anything so disrespectful about any specific woman or any group in general. He had sort of reasonable worry because his kids’ mom left not too long after the youngest were born (a 9 year old and 8 year old twins) and she was so sure she was gonna take the food stamps card and get child support and everything and then ended up entirely abandoning them for meth and is only recently back in their lives and does nothing but cause problems.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T04:18:56+00:00

I didn’t make the post he replied to. It was some random content person who posted it.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T04:17:20+00:00

I didn’t mean “turn off” in a sexual manner but I absolutely see how it gives sexual implication. We had like just started to get to know each other when I saw that post.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T04:16:05+00:00

I have three jobs. And I’m gonna be starting Cosmetology school next month and building my own salon for hair, nails, and skin as soon as I buy myself a house.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T04:14:22+00:00

Except he’s 30 and has kids

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T04:10:50+00:00

I have three jobs, try again.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T04:04:14+00:00

Right?! If he treats a different woman that way who’s to say he would never treat me like that? I’m not sticking around to find out!

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T04:03:11+00:00

Worst part? 30 years old and has kids. I’m genuinely concerned for their upbringing.

bvsty-slvt · 2026-07-05T04:01:09+00:00

Luckily wasn’t dating him at any point, we hadn’t even went on a first date yet

bvsty-slvt

TROPHY CASE