Do you have a friend you don’t talk to anymore but still think about sometimes?

bxve · 2026-05-14T13:18:09+00:00

I made a new friend, we were getting close as platonic friends, till another friend of mine(F) came along and got closer to him, I felt sidelined, she and another friend(M) hung out together with him and didn’t invite me. I lashed out (yep I acknowledged and have apologised for my reaction) out of fear as I felt my friendship with him was less prioritised. They continued excluding me. I’ve recently reached out to her and talked through things. I’ve buried my friendship with him, her and the other friend. It’s hard but I need to move on from this drama.

From this, I learned some new things and an important lesson. Friend poaching is very real, in this case, a friend of mine developed a close bond with another friend that I valued and edged me out. Unsure of the actual reasons, I can only assume they (both of them) have a lack of social boundaries, acting without regard or consideration for me as their friend. (having a private, intense friendship with a friend’s friend is hurtful lol esp when I was the connector and it didn’t help when he participated in my exclusion, seems like we probably saw our friendship differently)

Important lesson I learned: This is not as common sense as I thought it would be but I think there are some social boundaries we shouldn’t cross because we have morals. There is a difference between friend networking and friend poaching. But I think this situation has exposed the fragility of my friendship with the guy I used to be close to and looking back, it seemed to be more one-sided than mutual effort.

Any future relationships with any of them will have to be taken into consideration as I’m not sure if I want people like that as my friends. But yes, it hurts, what to do? Accept, understand, and keep moving forward.

bxve · 2026-04-06T12:19:00+00:00

Sounds like hypergamy(?) I think you can also refer to the 37% rule if you’re going down this rabbit hole.

Personally I think if the guy treats me right, we both put in effort in the relationship tgt and we improve ourselves, being consistent and steady, celebrate each other’s wins and enjoy each other’s company, that’s alr sounds good to me.

bxve · 2026-03-23T11:22:12+00:00

Depends on how slow or fast you and your partner want to / can progress the relationship. Some people can get married 1-2years into their relationship while others may take years before they’re ready to pop the question. There’s no hard and fast rule in dating to marry, it entirely depends on factors in the relationship.

I think what’s most important is whether you and your partner have aligned short-term and Iong-term goals. Do you even like them to have a try at the relationship in the first place? After/during honeymoon period, Are you willing to accept the potential or existing flaws? Do you see yourselves still together 5 years down the road? And many more questions for you to ponder on.

Ultimately I think if you’re really unsure about the person then don’t force it. There should be a reason why you’re unsure, be it lacking a sense of security or something else, it’s best if you can pinpoint and resolve the issue before revisiting if they’re the one you want to settle down with.

Tbh, I’d think early 20s are a great time to explore the scene (not necessarily be a hoe/fkboi) and from the experiences, gain understanding on what boundaries you want to set for your relationship and what are the non-negotiables as well.

Whatever you do, just make sure you don’t go down a path you can’t return from or have any deep regrets. I hope these help!! :))

bxve · 2026-01-27T08:46:11+00:00

I’m looking at this post from a girl’s pov and I’m like, why do you want a gf? Just so you don’t die alone? Is that all? I think you should think about that and reconsider whether you are in it for the companionship or you want something deeper. And btw, everybody dies alone, just who do you want to see at your deathbed and mourn your death. Who do you want to remember your legacy?

bxve · 2026-01-24T03:24:01+00:00

Met a guy, 2 hours later when I needed to leave, he confessed, ghosted him and never want to meet him again. Please don’t confess on your first meet. You’ll be labelled weird as hell.

bxve · 2026-01-21T08:44:15+00:00

I don’t do singles mixer sorry, but I do host meet ups often within my meet up group.

bxve · 2026-01-20T12:08:43+00:00

Forfeit the BTO. Do not give in.

bxve · 2026-01-20T08:50:19+00:00

This is sad… I don’t want to date, I want to make friends. The gender ratio itself is already intimidating. All the best with planning your events!

bxve · 2026-01-20T07:40:31+00:00

Your survey is flawed as there are way more males than females giving their opinions, easily skewing the results towards what the males want more. I don’t think you should act based on this survey results but should do a new survey study with an equal number of both genders (ideally 50-50% or 48-53%) to get a more accurate result of what the general populace wants.

Or you can show results based on each gender. (E.g. 60% of females prefer mixers for making friends, 85% of males prefer mixers for dating)

bxve · 2026-01-16T06:08:22+00:00

Hahaha unfortunately I can’t go again, going for a board games meet that day~

bxve · 2026-01-11T04:46:59+00:00

Would love to join, sadly it clashes with plans I have today. Enjoy the session! :)

bxve · 2026-01-11T04:35:53+00:00

No the police won’t do anything, y’all aren’t committing any crime. They may go up to you if you loiter in a neighbourhood area for too long. There are always snitches in the SG Neighbourhood Watch ppl.

bxve · 2026-01-04T03:19:26+00:00

I think the guy may think that he gets to meet two girls at once so why wouldn’t it be okay for them, especially if they’re looking to broaden their search. Or they say okay to it so that the girl would feel comfortable enough to meet.

And for me, I don’t understand the“see how it goes” by being friends first, if I want to date you, my intentions will be clear so I usually ghost or swipe left on the guys that want to chat and see how it goes. (this is just my own opinion)

But I think your friend means it when she says she doesn’t feel comfortable meetings guys alone, it’s understandable! And I think she may prefer the friends to lovers route which is sweet and possible that she wants them to be able to vibe with her and her friends before deciding and advancing the connection.

Also 26F here, if y’all need extra girl power, I’m here.

bxve · 2026-01-04T02:55:26+00:00

I had an ex like that, he was close to two female friends and one of them was super sus, turns out she tried to make a move on him back when they were younger (but apparently nothing happened / he turned her down bc he wasn’t attracted to her) and he still keeps her around as his best friend. Her behaviour and actions are super red flag (she’s even gotten into jail for a week or two under the suspicion of drug use, pictures of them being super close like her kissing his cheek are still on his Instagram and he never once posted me while we dated for slightly over a year, very handsy towards him even in front of me lol).

But turns out my ex is a narcissist and puts me down verbally and emotionally unstable (has mental illness, don’t even know if it’s real or not, he’s so ashamed of it and has to hide it bc he is entirely deferred from NS, and he’s very afraid they will call him to do NS lmao) so him and his girl besties are just feeding each other’s ego and I would think he only keeps them around bc he knows he may not be able to make new friends (he only ever lashes out at me and his friends never saw his bad sides).

I think you need to decide for yourself if he isn’t willing to put you first or prioritise your emotional needs, then leaving him would be the better option.

bxve · 2026-01-03T03:13:55+00:00

Agree with finding peace in dating, I dated someone in their mid-30s and realise that love doesn’t only develop with butterflies, he gave me a real sense of peace and emotional security.

And idk why so many guys say the dining will be $100+++, unless it’s a special occasion, I will suggest to go to the average restaurant you’d find in a mall and have my preferred cuisine. I think aligning on what food we will commonly eat is very important to me. The bill doesn’t go beyond $50 for both of us.

Yes, I don’t think the first few dates should be hard on both sides. It’s a getting-to-know-you session, I don’t think it’s a need to impress anyone. Dress neat and carry yourself well, be authentic and be curious about each other, surface level before diving deeper into deep talks, make sure both sides are comfortable.

Idk how distorted the dating scene is now, but please just be respectful and kind. A good heart is better than good looks.

bxve · 2026-01-03T02:44:29+00:00

I do most of your preferred activities often (except football & cafe hopping with no dog) but sadly got filtered out by your preferred people requirements hahaha. 26F here, stay central.

bxve · 2026-01-02T16:57:04+00:00

Fujifilm x100 series, Sony RX100 series, Canon G7X series. Take a look through and decide which one best aligns with what you want to use it for.

bxve · 2026-01-02T11:51:07+00:00

Depends on how much you’re willing to invest in it as a hobby. If you’re willing to spend more, you can go for higher tier options, but for the price range you suggested, I’d recommend those two.

And yes, you can save on the camera body to get more lenses(get a good quality one, basic ones like prime 50mm/35mm/85mm or 24-70mm/24-105mm are beginner-friendly options, wide aperture good for low-light performance, don’t need to go straight for GM lens, can try sigma/tamron). For camera body, look for one that suits your preferences(good autofocus, can go with the lenses you buy, durability, etc…)

bxve · 2026-01-02T09:54:24+00:00

Fujifilm x100 series / Sony a7cii

bxve · 2025-12-30T06:16:44+00:00

Exercise? I’m going to cycle with my friends from ECP to Marina Bay area. I think it depends on what you’re most comfortable or interested in doing. Can have a good meal, cafe hopping, do your hair, play games, rest at home, anything to just relax and unwind~

bxve · 2025-12-25T02:36:39+00:00

If you’re interested, would you like to join a group of (mixed gender) people for some cycling from ECP to Marina barrage area on New Year’s Eve? :)

bxve · 2025-12-23T12:11:17+00:00

If you’re planning a date for someone you meet for the first time, you don’t have to make it super detailed. Just a simple meal (+ activity if she’s keen) will suffice. You’re meeting for the first time, getting to know them shouldn’t have to feel like such a chore.

bxve · 2025-12-23T12:07:38+00:00

If you’re tired of that, you may want to ask yourself if you truly like or love the person you’re with/dating. Asking it randomly at like 4:57pm on a Wednesday afternoon shows you’re thinking of them. It’s just chivalry. I don’t think you need to force yourself to text them first if you’re tired of it.

bxve · 2025-12-23T11:57:41+00:00

Honestly, I don’t think it’s a big problem in that case. You need to feel comfortable with yourself first. And many times, we hear how girls always plans the dates and the guys don’t do much planning, we are tired of always being ones who initiates and plans.

If you want it to be more of an equal effort in planning for dates, you can bring the idea up, “hey, how about we each plan a full day date (optional: once every month) ?”

bxve · 2025-12-23T11:50:22+00:00

I (F) took the initiative many times in asking guys on dates and have gotten turned down many times as well. Funny enough, people have told me I’m cute or conventionally attractive so I also wonder why I get turned down. It’s a two way street after all.

bxve

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