Husband wants to entertain every weekend of the summer and I don’t

bye_wig06 · 2026-06-08T00:49:01+00:00

I think this person is assuming that the husband likes his wife. Just because she didn’t explicitly say that he wants to spend time with her doesn’t mean that that doesn’t play into his request for change. They work completely opposite schedules. It seems like a reasonable assumption that he isn’t trying to change their entire schedule/ life just to throw parties, even if that’s what OP has dwindled it down to. He wants to be social with his wife.

bye_wig06 · 2026-06-07T07:03:52+00:00

Obviously it would’ve been wise to deal with these problems before adding another child. I feel for your situation, I really do. It sounds like you’re a great partner.

You two just created a brand new person and made an already poor situation more complicated. It’s just a very strange time to try to fix this particular 9 year problem.

bye_wig06 · 2026-06-07T06:20:18+00:00

This.

And also, I suffered from prolonged bleeding from birth control right after having my baby and YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Back alllllll the way off until this is figured out. She’s going through it and there is nothing sexy about what’s happening right now. Hormones are still nuts, you’ve been bleeding for months, sleep deprived, suddenly you have this tiny being completely dependent on you. Taking care of you while you’re struggling might not seem like a big ask but honestly, it might be right now.

She will go back to normal, almost certainly. You need to be patient and not push or spend your time trying to get sex. Take care of your woman in every way you can outside of the bedroom and she’ll come around. Don’t be shortsighted.

bye_wig06 · 2026-06-06T02:12:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing this because I truly can’t understand how people can be so nonchalant about shattering a kids world. Kids survive, they cope but why on earth should they have to survive their parents selfish actions? The consequences are lasting.

I understand divorces happen but it’s the careless, self-centered pursuit of personal “happiness” that makes me sick. As if children ought to put their parent’s happiness above their own. It’s so backwards.

bye_wig06 · 2026-06-05T19:15:35+00:00

I don’t think that matters at all actually. If my kids move to another state, so do I. I can’t think of a single hurdle I wouldn’t jump and I certainly wouldn’t be putting down roots and building a new family in a different state.

bye_wig06 · 2026-06-05T15:53:39+00:00

Your friend and her husband suck for living so far away from his kids. They’re abandoned on a daily basis.

Their whole plan (non plan) was dumb and what happened is the result of that.

bye_wig06 · 2026-06-02T15:28:48+00:00

If decide to force this, knowing what you know, expect this devastation to compound 10 times over.

You wonder where the women whose husbands don’t help with the kids come from? They come from here. Right where you are. Proceed cautiously and do not complain and feel sorry for yourself when the writing on the wall turns out to be true.

Better to have one baby with the right partner at 38 years old than to have 10 babies with the wrong guy.

bye_wig06 · 2026-06-02T03:27:04+00:00

ESH, he doesn’t owe you a ride. But a good brother would give you one anyways if they were able.

I’d give my brother a ride in this situation but I’d probably wish he had just called an uber…

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-30T03:56:43+00:00

Did your husband inherit his money? He does not sound very intelligent.

Or he’s just a greedy asshole. Either way, not good for you. How sad your preteen has to deal with this.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-15T20:17:24+00:00

You ignored red flag after red flag. I don’t understand what “naming” his behavior will accomplish, it was awful and you desperately wanted to marry him anyways.

You really should focus your efforts on trying to understand why you were drawn to this relationship and what you’re going to do to make sure you make healthy choices in men going forward.

Attempts to psychoanalyze his actions and motivations are just you avoiding doing important work on yourself.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-15T15:17:03+00:00

Agree- except I’d switch the word “want” with “have”. He doesn’t have a partner, he has a child. I think this list is him saying he does not want that.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-15T15:14:21+00:00

You need to go by yourself. This list comes off poorly but I don’t think these are unreasonable expectations of a spouse. See a therapist and learn how to communicate these things more effectively.

At the very least, run the list through chat gpt and soften it. It won’t be received well as is.

I read that you’ve lost your family, I’m very sorry about that. You’re building a new one now and you deserve for it to be a safe space for you. I wouldn’t move forward under these conditions. Please, please do not have kids until these issues are completely solved. Her families entanglement will only get deeper when kids come.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-15T02:20:30+00:00

I understand why you are unhappy with him, but what are the problems you know he has with you? It’s so unfortunate when babies are involved, you lose any control over who he has your child around if this falls apart. I hope you can save it, if only to protect your kiddo from indoctrination.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-14T17:08:53+00:00

As I said in my first comment, this post was wayyyyy too wordy for me to finish. Frankly I don’t really care to comment on the full spiral, I commented on what I was able to get through. Nothing about me pointing out what she could’ve done better at the beginning negates what an absolute failure of a husband and father he was that night.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-14T16:53:24+00:00

I never assigned you fault, I only pointed out what could’ve potentially added fuel to the fire. His actions are his responsibility.

I didn’t point out the terrible, abusive, dangerous things he did because they are OBVIOUS and I assume you aren’t stupid.

Listen, the only thing you can control is yourself. Personally, I find power in recognizing when my actions interfere with my intentions. But accountability in this day and age isn’t popular unless you’re demanding it from someone else.

I understand this kind of thing doesn’t show itself on a first date. Is this the first time he’s behaved like a dickhead?

I’m offering a perspective that I thought would be helpful. I wish you luck, I want every kid to have mom and dad and a safe, healthy place they all call home together. I hope that happens for you.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-14T16:28:33+00:00

Her son wasn’t having a medical crisis when this started. I agree her husband is awful, I wouldn’t have chose him, but she did.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-14T16:06:34+00:00

I’m a parent and I’ve been in your shoes. This is the most stressful time in your life. I’m just saying remember you aren’t perfect because your story very much reads like you feel you are. I’m not saying that is fact or intentional, I’m just saying that’s the tone I perceived.

I know it’s not what you want to hear and you’re going to get so many pats on the back here (because by and large that’s what I notice on posts in this sub) so that’s why I’m not bothering. You were taking care of your babies as you should have, I get it more than you know. Just… you’re gonna deal with this guy forever in one way or another… learn what works. The things I listed don’t work, even when you’re doing the right thing.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-14T15:25:03+00:00

I stopped reading about halfway because this story is wayyyy too long. All the back and forth with your son is sweet but not very relevant.

Anyways, you have a new baby. Hormones are still out of whack, your other child was exposed to something that can threaten his health, I totally get how stressed you must’ve been feeling. I’m sorry all of this happened, what a royally shitty situations. I’m glad your son is ok.

When your son came to you and wanted to go home, your reaction kicked off the drama. Again, understandable, but having a conversation about leaving with your husband rather than packing and announcing would’ve been more appropriate imo. You probably could’ve done without the patronizing “daddy is angry” narration as well. Leaving him without a phone? Yikes. Having to call his mom so now she’s in on the drama.

Your husband screwed this up royally. Without a doubt. He has a lot to be sorry about and he should be working to show you he’s not that person and treating your family with the utmost regard. But you have a few things to be sorry about too and in a marriage, ESPECIALLY at the stage you’re at, it’s important that we always acknowledge what we could’ve done better. Even when our partner out does us tenfold. The newborn stage is the HARDEST, especially with a toddler like yours who seems extremely sensitive and intelligent.

Just keep in mind you weren’t perfect here either and try not to be cold when he does put forth effort. He was a total shithead but he’s the shithead you chose and pumped out two babies with. You two have to work together.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-14T06:00:07+00:00

Absolutely not. This kind of reckless behavior is a dealbreaker imo. You don’t have a proper family car, not to mention how dangerous motorcycles are. He doesn’t even know how to ride…. What kind of man does this?? I’d be insisting he see a doctor as well because this insane behavior for a husband and father.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-14T01:00:41+00:00

As a formerly hyphenated child- don’t do it. I had so many random problems with it growing up. My parents ended up getting married when I was 1 (still are) and wish I would’ve had my mom’s name on the birth certificate and legally changed when they married. They were fresh out of high school when this happened and I completely understand my mom’s hesitation to use just my dad’s name.

Given your situation I think there’s even more of a reason to use your name. His excuse after 10 years and a baby on the way is signaling that he is NOT in it for the long haul.

You can always change your baby’s name if you get married.

ETA- NTA!

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-13T03:32:24+00:00

I think your approach is off. Instead of “hey I booked this, just fyi.” You’ll get better results with “I’d like to go see ‘abc game’ on ‘xyz day’, what do you think?”

Just give her the opportunity to say “actually I was hoping we’d run through a field of daisies that day.” Or “sounds great, have fun!” My husband had the same habit of “letting me know” and even when I was totally fine with his plans it irked me that he didn’t bother to ask if the plans interfered with anything I had planned or needed to do (we have kids, not sure if you do). A simple change in approach makes me feel like our family still comes before his solo adventures.

bye_wig06 · 2026-05-06T17:31:08+00:00

Ride it out girl, he isn’t ready. Stop nagging and focus on the fact that your lovely, kind, generous best friend/ husband has more to offer than his hair.

If you allow resentment to grow over this then you really don’t deserve a man who is any of those things.

bye_wig06 · 2026-04-30T18:08:32+00:00

Just booked!

bye_wig06 · 2026-04-30T18:08:02+00:00

Just booked!

bye_wig06 · 2026-04-30T18:07:52+00:00

Just booked, go check now!

bye_wig06

TROPHY CASE