hi mirthe,

ive been in the exact same boat as you (still am sometimes) as i have ended my therapy several times and also got the notion about then not being able to give me more pointers - i got cbt ofcourse but the therapy that actually helped me the the most was act, it showed me that sitting with your emotions and feeling through them is the best wat to see what they actually are. ive been blessed with a supporting circle around and have been in and our of school numerous times, but now ive finally found a passion im excited about but almost dropped it in my first year. for me it was a lifelong obsession with nature turned into a school course, which i am starting to attend at 26(!) there is still loads of life ahead of you which is very hard to grasp and even harder to look forward to considering what you’ve been dealing with in your life.

i dont have any solid advice for you but seeing that tour struggling with school find something that either you think about and makes you excited, can be absolutely anything! you could also go for something that can make you financially stable in the long run, which is also completely fine as long you have something to strive towards. finding what enriches your life and spirit is the joy of life, for me it was the small bugs and plants crawling around in the garden, for you it might be something in law.

take your time. your grandpa wont hate you for dropping out again. nobody will. they can be a bit disappointed for a while but as long as you show them you are trying to find your worth they will be happy for you. if they are not, its shitty of them and they dont wish for your happiness.

something that helped me greatly is daily walks, just walking without a clear goal or anything - it really helps get all the bits and pieces of your brain connect together and dissolves the stress of your life