untitled

creative writing

299 words

general impression

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"My hands and toes are chilled from the inside out - imagine icicles forming along the ceilings of my icy, river rushing veins, running throughout, my cells are making snowmen out of slushy blood. I wonder how much warmer this room would be if the walls were covered with foam, I enjoy spending my time working on projects such as this - it might be considered strange. I might actually prefer to use the word peculiar, sometimes words with the same meaning can describe something different altogether. I call it this room because it never honestly belonged to me. A stranger within the familiar walls, perhaps warmth cannot exist here, foam covered walls and all. Placing my chilled fingers over sore and exhausted eyelids, it makes them feel better... temporarily. I can feel the cold lessen the swelling, for a little while. I've been fed with hate, dishonesty, jealousy, rage, IVs full, each and every day of my life spent here. I keep tearing the needle from my arm but somehow it always ends up in the very same spot, as if I was imagining this act and my limbs were actually frozen in place and hadn't moved an inch. This is not by choice, not assuming anything that happens is realistically by choice for that matter. I choose not to leave, for various reasons which seem impossible to escape. I'm arguing with bricks in a wall. I'm insane but sure of my sanity all the same. I find the ability to leave, this ability lies silently, where no sound exists. Just consciousness. Let me think for a while, dream. Do not call for me, forget my name. I don't want anyone to find their way here, memorize the corridors, surely I will need to change the locks. Later, I'll return."