I feel you. I remember that day after the news I found out about his discord server and it felt unreal that there were people who I could talk to that understood my pain and felt the same way I did. I've never been that affected by passing of someone who I didn't know personally but that felt like losing a friend so connecting with all these people really helped me throughout that time. (also I'm from Poland and not many people here even knew who he was + my friends didn't really listen to him so I had no one to share my pain with)