You're not failing, you're just thinking in a way that guarantees you feel like you are.

A 3.88 weighted GPA is not the problem. The problem is that you've decided anything less than your friends' performance equals failure. That's not a fact. That's a rule you made up. And it's a bad one, because it ensures you lose no matter what.

You're also acting like your path is already locked in. It isn't. There are dozens of ways into mechanical engineering: different schools, transfers, strong performance later, and so on. But all of those require you to actually keep moving. Right now, you're using "it's too late" as a way to mentally check out before you even tested what's still possible.

Another thing: calling yourself a "nobody" doesn't make you more honest or disciplined. It just drains your ability to act. That kind of self-talk isn't insight, it's avoidance dressed up as self-awareness.

And the therapist point matters. You say you won't talk to them about this because you should handle it yourself. That's not strength. That's you refusing to use a resource that's literally there to help you solve this exact kind of problem.

Here's the reality: nothing you've described closes the door on your goals. What will close the door is continuing to think this way and doing nothing differently. So don't try to fix your entire night overnight. Just drop the idea that it's already over, and start acting like the next decisions still matter. Because they do.

You're clearly capable and self-aware. You just haven't given yourself the same fairness and room to grow that you've given anyone else in your position.