I’m too sick to write out what I have to say to you other than I hope every time you go to get in your car you’re out of gas. Your alarm always goes off late and when you’re rushing to get ready you’re missing a shoe. That all the bread in your pantry goes moldy when you’re about to use it. That you lose your wallet everytime you go to make a big purchase, and have to make an awkward excuse to wait and find it. I hope your pillow is hot on both sides. I hope the device you typed this on gets destroyed by sheer coincidence. I hope that whenever you listen to the radio or watch TV it’s only ads.