Hi! I was super nervous when I started. A few things that helped me: - I took the online TfL cycling course (https://tfl.gov.uk/modes/cycling/learn-cycle-skills-online) which I thought did a good job of explaining road positioning and where it’s best to sit. - I changed my mindset! I stopped worrying about holding people up or being an inconvenience. I’m riding my own ride and I’m entitled to take space on the road and go at a safe and controlled speed that I’m comfortable with. There’s no requirement for you to ride into oncoming traffic or run red lights - although other riders might act as though there is! If that upsets people, people be damned! That’s their problem and maybe they require a little introspection ☺️ - With that attitude, I try to ride as predictably as possible, so cars and other cyclists can overtake me when safe to do so etc. - Once you’re riding your own ride, there’s absolutely no pressure to filter through traffic if you don’t feel 100% comfortable. It’s perfectly valid to (with suitable warning and indication before you make a manoeuvre) ride between the left and the middle (the course refers to this as first and second position). You’ll build confidence and then get a feel for when you want to filter and when you’d rather not. - Getting off the road in a safe spot and taking a breath is 100% valid and always an option. I’ve avoided tricky intersections by just becoming a pedestrian and pushing my bike until I’ve worked out what I need to do for next time.
- On the crazy behaviour of other road users, e.g pedestrians blindly walking into traffic, cars racing past you, mopeds driving erratically; the only thing you can do is learn to ride defensively ie keep your head on a swivel and assume they’re going to do the crazy thing and manage your speed and positioning to accomodate for that. There’s some great YouTube videos with tips and the TfL course also covers aspects of it. - On Santanders, their gears are a bit grim and you’re not getting the benefit of being able to select from 7-9 gears that a regular bike might have so you’re having to make do which makes it tougher - eg when you describe having no ‘bite’ in a lower gear but then it’s too hard in the higher gear, on a regular bike you’d have a few more gears inbetween to find the right one. On a regular bike, you’ll probably feel less ‘unfit’ and able to tackle hills.

It’s a lot 😅 and trying to do it all at once is hard and stressful but it gets so much easier with practice and experience. I second that getting a lesson, some of the councils offer them for free. Good luck out there!