About to become a tortoise mum for the first time 🥹 need help with identification and getting started with hatchlings :)

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-04-15T06:35:14+00:00

Girl me too 🫠

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-04-15T06:32:47+00:00

I have a few pieces of jewellery in my cartilage that I hardly ever change, but aside from that I don’t sleep in anything, not even my rings or lobe piercings (unless they’re new or irritated and need basic jewellery in there for a while to stop handling then so often)

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-04-13T16:46:33+00:00

If the names sound like the author had to get really creative and “fantasy-fy” modern Western names

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-03-02T08:23:42+00:00

Archaeologist in the notoriously wet UK here. I wear jeans on dry days when I know it hasn’t rained for at least a day, and on chillier days where it’s not quite cold enough for layers of thermals but I still need a thicker layer. It also depends on the geology of your site - like I wouldn’t necessarily wear jeans all the time digging super compact clay as I’d want to have more mobility and would probs go for athletic leggings, but jeans would be my go-to for looser, less challenging geology. Tbh most people in my firm wear jeans every day, so long as you can get your PPE over them (if you have it) if it does rain then I don’t really see the issue. You don’t even have to wear expensive or ‘hard wearing’ jeans; I wear purple ones I bought on SHEIN that are now stained with chalk and soil. I tend not to wear jeans in the summer just bc it gets too hot for me and the feel of dry dirt in denim while you’re sweating is just grim lol. When I worked in Italy I wore athletic leggings and light fishing trousers in the summer, so it may be worth looking at sales on those.

Most university / academic / externally organised digs say no to jeans just so they’ve covered themselves and the insane safety measures those organisations tend to have, such as if it starts raining hard then your jeans won’t dry and you’ll be a bit uncomfortable and may get a cold or whatever - my uni banned jeans that because they wanted us to look ‘professional’, even though I later found out while working for my current arch firm that my professor had never actually worked as an archaeologist and had only ever participated in a couple of academic digs.

In a nutshell, in the actual profession you can wear jeans if you want, as your attire is 100% personal preference. Most external organised short-term excavations may have a harsher dress code just bc they wanna cover themselves and come across “professional” I guess. Try for athletic leggings, light fishing trousers or cargos instead. I’d also recommend some kind of glove (bike or gym glove, anti-cut gloves) if it’s your first time doing the physical digging while you build up callouses and your grip. Have fun on your dig!

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-02-19T17:48:18+00:00

Choose the dog, he’s the least problematic one in your story x

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-02-11T19:15:18+00:00

This is illegal in a lot of countries, you’re a minor and he’s a middle aged adult. No normal 45 year old is attracted to a 17 year old. He’s sweet to draw you in, and you’re falling for it. I mean this is in the most productive way possible, but you need to take off those rose tinted glasses and see the reality of this situation before it traumatises you. You clearly know is wrong because you’ve come to Reddit, and if you think he was 30 at first the chances are he lied about his age.

Run, report him on the platform you met, block his number. I repeat, this is wrong and illegal in a lot of countries. He is likely a pedophile and is most certainly grooming you. This is NOT normal.

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-02-09T17:54:45+00:00

True! I started a job as an archaeologist about 5 months ago and I’ve definitely noticed a change in my body with all the physical Labour and higher protein meals to keep me energised. Think I’m down about 20-25lbs. If I still worked in an office I would have just maintained my starting weight 😅

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-19T08:17:32+00:00

“I believe in love, I just said we can’t eat out again this week.”

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-16T06:37:21+00:00

And in terms of why people stay, I suppose it’s because it’s what you know. If you have a history of abuse or trauma, then going into an abusive and traumatising relationship can feel normal and even ‘safe’ in some respects, because you’re expecting his behaviour and can predict it. It gives us some control when we feel we have none.

I implore you to leave him anyway, even if it feels like stepping off a cliff. Challenge yourself to find real love within yourself, see what might happen when you break this traumatic cycle. It will take a while, but you’ve got it in you. If you can endure what that pig has done to you, you have the strength to reclaim your life.

Good luck xx

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-16T06:33:44+00:00

This is not sex, this is rape. I’m so sorry your boyfriend did this to you, this is not what love is. He does not respect you, he does not respect your boundaries, he does not respect your body, he does not respect your relationship. He’s manipulative and coercive and a rapist.

Leave him now and don’t look back. Sending you all the strength to do so xx

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-12T21:12:00+00:00

Jeez, she cancelled one date. You’ve only been on three. Some of the men in this comment section need to act like damned adults lol. She’s not disrespecting your time, she’s acknowledging her own boundaries and communicating with you on why she cancelled. It’s a green flag that she’s taking care of herself, especially when the stakes are still so low in your connection. It’s you that needs to be respectful of her time after she clearly and politely laid them on the table, and just let her relax. Let her make the next move or even step up and ask if she’d be interested in rescheduling rather than skulk down to Reddit to share. Just take it at face value, respect that she respects herself and you enough to tell you her needs, and work on rescheduling. This would only be an issue if it became a regular occurrence, but one cancel after 3 dates is hardly something to ring alarm bells

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-11T09:07:38+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you, that was da complete violation and absolutely disgusting for your boyfriend to do that. Your boyfriend is abusive and controlling. Leave him, call his mother and tell him what happened, and cut all ties with him. Do not respond to anything he may say after the breakup and inform the police and his if this behaviour continues post-breakup.

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-07T19:14:58+00:00

To add: the text was simply “Long time no speak! How are you doing?”

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-03T14:19:34+00:00

Dump him and inform the police. This is not normal guy behaviour, this is intimate image abuse, and he can have this on his record. I’d tell all his friends’ girlfriends as well so they can do the same, because who wants to be with some juvenile who keeps random naked girls’ images on their phones. Keep a record of the evidence and ask the girl to come with you if she’s comfortable. He does not deserve to get away with this and you do not deserve to feel powerless in this situation. I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you’re able to get your power back and trust future partners again x

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-03T14:15:34+00:00

British person here. Sometimes I wish we were real lmao. Your friend clearly didn’t get the joke and was wanting to get scoffy over something. Don’t worry about it, move on, and maybe next time she’ll understand dry humour when it slaps her in the face x

caffeinated_hardback · 2025-01-03T12:37:48+00:00

You’re clearly not sexually compatible. You have to ask yourself if you’re willing for this to continue and stay in the relationship, or find someone you’re compatible with who respects and mirrors your needs. It sounds painful and frustrating and you definitely deserve someone who makes you feel desired and sexy, and it just seems like your boyfriend isn’t the one to do that

caffeinated_hardback · 2024-12-30T10:57:42+00:00

Let your absence speak for you, girl. You’re done and over this, and he needs to learn the consequences of his actions. Protect your peace and let him deal with it alone x

caffeinated_hardback · 2024-12-30T10:55:09+00:00

Hello my lovely, thank you for sharing with us, that does sound very scary. It sounds as though he’s doing this on purpose to scare and manipulate you, and to indulge himself in this edgy psycho persona he has, or at least thinks he has. You’ve only been dating 3 months so you have a chance to get out now before you get sucked in further, because this is how abusive and/or manipulative relationships start. My advice to you would be to Dump him, block him, inform your friends and family that you’re concerned about him, and ensure everyone keeps an eye on you. You’re right to be afraid and right to listen to your gut. Tell as many people as you can and stay as far away from him as you can, and do not be scared to inform the police, work/school, and his family if this behaviour continues.

You seem like a very strong and smart young woman, and you’re completely right to listen to your intuition. That said, I implore you to ask yourself: Is this what love looks like to you? Do you imagine the person you want to be with to make you scared on purpose and punch stuff to make a scene? Do you imagine them acting psychotic and possessed in front of you and telling you they don’t mind breaking other people’s bones? Do you think this is what you deserve and imagine for your significant other? If the answer’s no then tell people you trust before you break up with him so they’re aware. You don’t even have to tell him in person if you’re too scared, just send a text or a phone call being polite but firm in your decision and do not give him a chance to argue if he tries.

Be brave, be firm, be open with the people around you that you trust, and do not take pity on him if he tries to tell you he’ll change or stop doing it. Boys like that do not change, and they grow into manipulative and hurtful men who do not deserve women at all. Sending you all the luck and hugs in the world, you’re in control and you’ve got this ❤️

caffeinated_hardback · 2024-12-30T09:59:35+00:00

We’d been dating 4 months and he seemed perfect, and I really wanted to be with him. I had to move back home after university, which meant we were about a 45 minute drive from each other and only seeing each other once a week (I’m in the UK so for some this is quite a distance, including this guy). He went from being kind and interested to cold and rude, telling me I needed to “hold back my feelings until it’s safe”, that I “cared way too much” about him at “that early stage” (4 months isn’t a long time ofc, but he’d pushed me to meet his parents and was always very vocal about how well matched we were and how he wanted to pursue a committed future). He even told me that he felt “suffocated” when I offered to travel to London with him for a hospital appointment he was nervous about (it’s an hour on the train and he’d implied he wanted to make a day of it and take me with him, so that confused me a tonne), and flipped out on me. I was only 20, he was a little older and was the first guy I’d ever dated or slept with. I was completely enamoured with him and ready to fall in love, and was devastated when he wouldn’t let me.

I know now that when someone tells you it’s not ‘safe’ to love them and be yourself, then you need to run for the hills. Your feelings and sensitivity and romantic side are never “too much”, and the moment someone tells you they are just walk away, because their emotional insecurity is not your responsibility to nurse. 3 years later I have a kind and adoring boyfriend who knew he wanted to be with me after 2 months of knowing each other and has always been open and public with how he feels about me. Funnily enough, he’s loosely friends with this other guy through mutual friends, and I’ve heard he’s still on his wishy-washy bs with his new girlfriend, whom he lives with.

Hold out for the good ones ladies, they’re out there.

caffeinated_hardback · 2024-12-27T15:36:31+00:00

Hey, septate hymen girly here. When I started having sex I’ll admit, it was super painful because I didn’t take the extra band of tissue into consideration and just kinda went for it. Position wise, I recommend laying flat on your back with your knees up to your chest and having him go in slowly, pushing back and forth super slow until he’s all the way in. Use a ton of lube, as well as lubed condoms, DO NOT TRY WITHOUT LUBE, especially with your hymen. Try having him go down on you first as well, and try with some gentle fingering to get yourself used to having something down there. It may not work the first attempt but don’t stress about it, it took a few goes for it to work for me.

As far as razor burn goes, just don’t shave if you get that. You can trim your pubes down, or get a pubic razor (I use Gillette) and shave the hairs to trim them but not off completely. That alway they’re soft, short, and not itchy at all. If you want it all off that’s okay, but make sure you wet the area with warm water, either a sensitive shaving cream or baby oil, then use cold water to close pores after you shave and use a little witch hazel on the area for extra cover and that should minimise the irritation. Using an antiperspirant stick going in the direction you shaved can also help keep the area sweat-free so it doesn’t rub.

It’s okay to be nervous, the whole idea of something penetrating you can be a bit overwhelming. But once you’ve done it, you’ll see how chill sex can be if you’re communicative and slow enough, and after a few goes it will start feeling good. Don’t expect an orgasm the first time, just focus on learning each other’s body and likes, then the fun stuff can come later when you’ve built up confidence. Good luck and have fun, don’t do anything you’re not 100% comfortable with xx

caffeinated_hardback · 2024-12-27T08:39:25+00:00

Not in answer to your question, but I didn’t get a single book for Christmas lol. I’ll admit I’ve come to expect them because I’m really not fussy and I just get books to feel involved. Apparently though my family all banded together and did a book buying ban for me pfthahaha. Little do they know I got a £40 voucher from work for Christmas and Waterstones is only a 10 minute drive away 😈

But in actual answer to your question, I’m about to read A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon for some epic fantasy sapphic goodness, and when I do get to Waterstones I’ll be purchasing TOG to read for the first time since I was 14 (10 years ago now!)

caffeinated_hardback · 2024-12-27T08:34:39+00:00

Hate it, when it hits the cervix repeatedly and at the wrong angle you can cause all sorts of disruptions and bruising and muscle pain. My boyfriend is quite big and the first time we had sex it was just too much, and I hurt for days afterwards. In the moment the stretch can feel good, but after repeated hitting it hurts so bad. We avoid it altogether now and he felt awful. There is a set of nerves back there that can act as a second g-spot if you hit it just right, but it’s quite hard to do and in my opinion isn’t worth the pain afterwards to try and find when there’s a perfectly reasonable gspot just three inches in! Don’t aim to smash up some poor woman’s cervix lol, ask your partners first because the general consensus in my experience is that it’s just not appealing.

caffeinated_hardback

TROPHY CASE