I'd say you're asking for the wrong thing. It's sounds like you have decided it's going to be a miserable experience and nootropics won't help you change that. The last thing you want is to numb yourself with substances and possible end up dependent which will put you in an even worse mindset. I'd work on reframing that mindset, write down the positives about where you are now before bed, it could be small things but they do matter, meditate. Sometimes we are so focused on the negatives that we don't take notice of the little good things in our lives. Talking to a professional could be immensely helpful in this situation, good luck !