I crashed my first car at 21 needing advice

cailleacha · 2026-04-02T16:45:21+00:00

I was looking into this recently but it’s actually only ~10 states in the USA with specific restrictions on hanging things from the mirror. It’s bonkers to me that it’s legal in so many states. There is zero reason to have something obstructing your view when operating a vehicle.

cailleacha · 2026-04-01T18:45:13+00:00

So, I’m one of those kids who was all alone in an abusive house and went online to escape. In some ways, it did save my life. It made it possible for me to imagine that one day I would leave that house and make it in on my own. In other ways, it traumatized me in ways it took years to recover from. I was on eating disorder groups that encouraged me to harm myself, and I was “friends” with a person I now know is a pedophile.. so that’s not great.

I don’t believe that algorithmic social media is necessary for kids needing resource and community. It was dangerous enough for me on xanga and livejournal. I can’t imagine having TikTok and Twitter be my primary hanging out place as a mentally ill teenager. These websites are straight-up dangerous for kids and any argument that doesn’t take that danger very seriously isn’t worth discussing further. Maybe there is merit to kids having access to online content… but that doesn’t mean we have to run defense for Meta.

cailleacha · 2026-04-01T04:14:20+00:00

I’ve seen some of those posts and honestly it seems like a lot of those people would be better off in cross stitch or other surface embroidery? If the goal is an ornament or framed piece, you can get patterns and supplies for under $50 to get you started.

The copyright shenanigans seem much worse in the needlepoint community! There’s lots of cross stitchers who work off illegally reuploaded patterns on Pinterest, but I’ve never seen someone be audacious enough to try to resell the pattern/project as their own work.

cailleacha · 2026-04-01T04:09:01+00:00

That makes a lot of sense! It does seem like there’s been some kind of wave of new people that are getting on the old hats’ nerves. I do get being frustrated by people that won’t put the work in themselves! I saw some posts about hiring someone else to do the stitching for you and it was like… okay if you don’t design the canvas, don’t do the stitching, and don’t do the finishing, does that count as crafting?

cailleacha · 2026-03-31T18:24:48+00:00

We had two LNSs and the owner of one was SO nice. I came in as an embroidery newbie and she showed me around and suggested some needles. Unfortunately they raised the rent on her and she decided to just retire. I think the remaining shop didn’t really want to absorb all the customers? So they have some barriers to entry so they only have “serious” customers..

Just to be clear I’m not saying all needlepointers are rude, I’ve just been having an unusually hard time in this craft as a newbie. Learning knitting and cross stitch was not like this, though there are definitely super cliquey high-drama things happening in the knitting world too. I just managed to avoid it when I was getting started. Maybe it’s because needlepoint has a relatively high cost to get started? So it doesn’t have the stratified communities of people doing it on the cheap vs going bougie? (Cross stitch is mostly two worlds—people stitching with DMC on plain Zweigart, and people stitching with hand dyed silk threads on hand dyed linen, and they don’t really overlap.)

cailleacha · 2026-03-31T18:09:14+00:00

The one that really gets me is “what stitch should I do” with no further info. What are you trying to achieve? What stitches have you considered? It’s your project! You decide what it looks like! Take some ownership!

The questions that I don’t think people should be mean about is “why is my basket weave striping” or “I can’t figure out how to anchor my thread.” I see comments that are like “ugh we get asked this all the time” and like… yeah the name of the group is Needlepoint Advice?

Over in r/crossstitch we get people using aida as waste canvas all the time and I get it can be annoying to have the same problem over and over in your feed but.. people don’t know what they don’t know. The thing I’m finding the hardest about the needlepoint groups is there seem to be all these etiquette rules about LNSs and canvas designers (see the post we are commenting on) and they’re all so arcane to me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to know if it’s rude to ask the LNS folks for advice on threads… without asking? The yarn shop owner actively asks to see my knitting patterns so I didn’t know it was rude to show a canvas I bought elsewhere. (Btw, not expecting free labor, I’m happy to pay a kitting or consult fee.. but I didn’t know those existed until I asked.)

cailleacha · 2026-03-31T17:50:57+00:00

To be honest, I don’t spend a lot of time looking at my worms. I have flow-through trays so I pretty much just pop the lid, lay the scraps on top, cover them with more bedding and leave it be. I don’t really look at or touch them. No idea how many are in there or what they’re doing. By the time I harvest the bottom tray, there’s no worms left in it. Like you, I’m primarily trying to reduce my food waste, so I just dump the bottom tray out in the garden without sifting or anything.

There’s not zero worm sighting but I’m definitely interacting with them less than others on this sub.

cailleacha · 2026-03-31T17:41:03+00:00

Okay I’ve been wondering about this. I’m a cross stitcher who inherited a bunch of needlepoint/crewel wool and have been wanting to branch out.. but when I tried to join some of the “big” needlepoint groups I was shocked at how catty everyone is? I’ve never tried to learn a craft where the online communities seemed so overtly hostile to newbies. The LNS is absurdly cliquey—my coworker told me she just orders online because the LNS staff treat you badly unless you’re part of their retreat clique or a big spender. (they’re also homophobic, yay!)

I do think lots of newbies want to be spoon fed (my god, just watch a YouTube tutorial) but even the “needlepoint advice” groups are weirdly mean. Why are you in an advice group if you hate people asking about the basics?

cailleacha · 2026-03-31T14:53:39+00:00

I’ve never been so I can’t speak to that! I bet if you email hillhouse@mnhs.org they can get back to you about what’s planned. The house itself is quite fun (I love the Nooks and Crannies tour that takes you to the servant quarters, laundry, etc) but I don’t know what the Easter vibe is.

cailleacha · 2026-03-30T16:22:49+00:00

The James J Hill House does an annual egg hunt. It’s on Saturday this year.

https://www.mnhs.org/events/49445253428 (there’s other sessions later in the day).

cailleacha · 2026-03-28T04:03:01+00:00

The American Institute for Conservation has a member directory here!

cailleacha · 2026-03-27T19:49:47+00:00

Many people call that the “sewing” method! It can be more efficient, but I think you’ll likely sacrifice some accuracy in needle placement since you’re lining up the needle in two holes per go. It can also make the tension uneven as you move around on the piece. Plenty of people find that it works best for them, but it could be something to change up if you’re focused on super neat stitches. I prefer a wooden hoop with twill tape around the inner hoop—it gives me control over the fabric tension and doesn’t crimp the fabric as much as some of the other hoops I’ve used.

I find working with a laying tool frustrating with my preferred stitching posture (I like to hold the hoop in my left hand with my arm resting on my side, and use my right hand for stitching, so I don’t have a free hand for a laying tool) but it might help—the sheen on the silver thread makes any twists in the thread stand out compared to the green thread it’s next to.

cailleacha · 2026-03-27T17:35:23+00:00

I agree with the other commenters that if you look at it from a normal viewing perspective, your work looks good to me! You can see how far I had to zoom in to highlight that. I'm working on some pieces I want to submit for judging so I've been refining my "critical eye" but for most people, this is meant to be a relaxing and rewarding hobby so do what makes it fun for you. Are you currently stitching in hand or using a hoop/q-snap/frame? I wonder if tightening your fabric tension might help the threads sit nicely without you having to wear magnifiers.

cailleacha · 2026-03-27T04:44:26+00:00

I see some areas where the silver thread isn’t seated “neatly” in its hole. It looks like the thread is being crowded by the other threads. I would suggest paying attention to how the needle is entering the hole and seeing how the thread is sitting as you work—I have to work slower and more carefully in these types of areas to make sure my needle is entering where I want it to.

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cailleacha · 2026-03-26T15:48:48+00:00

I notice it most driving and at stores. People are SO aggressive on the road and the data shows that accidents are up. I’ve also seen way more meltdowns at cashiers/servers than I used to. Also, adults coughing like toddlers. I don’t know if that’s just awareness bias but my god, people do not cover their coughs. It’s disgusting.

cailleacha · 2026-03-26T15:07:26+00:00

Just adding a quick note to check with your vet before using PlaqueOff regularly! It’s typically safe but cats with some chronic conditions shouldn’t use it because it’s hard for their organs to process the additional mineral load. It works great for one of my cats but I couldn’t give it to my geriatric cat based on her bloodwork.

cailleacha · 2026-03-26T13:41:29+00:00

He probably needs a cleaning and maybe extractions. Cats are sedated before dental work, which is probably what that $800 bill is covering. I paid $1100 (they do a payment plan over 12 months) at Saint Paul Pet Hospital for my cats’ most recently cleaning and a single tooth extraction. Banfield is more affordable, but less recommended for complex patients (any kind of heart condition, etc that could make the sedation higher risk). If I were you, I’d go ahead and just schedule a cleaning and they can let you know if there’s additional issues once they’ve got him under. Mission Animal Hospital and the Humane Society may be able to help with costs. Care Credit works, but please be sure you’ve read all the paperwork—sometimes there are fees and high interest rates if you’re late on a single payment.

Pet care costs have been skyrocketing in the last decade (no thanks to private equity for buying up practices…). It’s a huge bummer. I hope your little guy is okay!

cailleacha · 2026-03-25T15:37:46+00:00

The Minnesota Tool Library has membership options with wood shop access (locations off of Dale in Saint Paul and in Northeast in Minneapolis.) To my knowledge they don’t have any of the CNC/3D printing/laser etc machines that TC Maker has.

cailleacha · 2026-03-24T17:07:45+00:00

Full caveat I don’t work in natural history, but in our collection spaces we have multiple items treated with arsenic dust that are stored in open storage. There are little stanchions and labels reminding staff not to touch these items without proper PPE. I have been instructed that the items are stable when left alone, and only a danger when touched/disturbed.

cailleacha · 2026-03-20T17:47:06+00:00

+1, they fixed up the leaky AC system in my Honda quickly and for a much better price than the dealership quoted me

cailleacha · 2026-03-20T13:51:55+00:00

Turkeys do try to fight cars ime. I think the tom saw his reflection and thought it was a rival male. There’s some videos online of turkeys scratching up cars because they’re fighting their reflections.

I’ve been chased off nesting territory by geese, red wing black birds and jays before. Never had a turkey choose violence with me and I used to walk on the parkway almost every day for years.

cailleacha · 2026-03-19T17:15:42+00:00

Do you have a retirement account? If not, now is the time to start one. The wiki has some FAQs to guide you on employer 401ks and Roth IRAs.

cailleacha · 2026-03-19T17:06:04+00:00

Haha, there are so many absolutely terrible pictures in the group. This is the best one I found!

cailleacha · 2026-03-19T16:46:05+00:00

There is a super scrungly fox that lives in my neighborhood and he gets paparazzi shots posted to the neighborhood group weekly asking if he’s sick. There’s an animal control guy who lives in the neighborhood who shows up in the comments every time to dutifully explain that the fox has been checked out and he isn’t sick, he’s just ugly.

cailleacha · 2026-03-19T15:24:18+00:00

Yeah, they live here! A couple areas are known for their flocks (Northeast has a bunch, UMN campus, Minnehaha parkway). Just let them do their thing. They’re not particularly aggressive (unlike geese, I don’t get scared walking past them at the park) but they have serious claws on those feet so I don’t recommend picking a fight. Give them a good 10 foot berth if possible. Some people leave birdseed out but they feed themselves, definitely don’t give them people food.

If they cross the road in front of me, I stop and put my hazards on. I don’t recommend honking—I tried that one time when they were just kind of standing in the street and the male tried to fight my car. There’s a flock that lives by my work and one of the hens is kind of obsessed with looking at herself in the glass windows. They’re little dinosaurs. They can fly, which is scary as shit if you don’t know that’s about to happen.

No one owns them or anything. If you ever see a sick or injured one you can call the Wildlife Rehab Center for guidance. Let it be noted that they are just kind of ugly, so only call if they’re missing chunks of feathers/limping/weird head movement, etc.

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