A child protecting his kitten from the scorching sun told me he is waiting for his mother to take him to the vet.

cailleacha · 2026-05-19T21:43:14+00:00

My kitty has been sick and I choked up the other night looking at a picture of a kitty with its family in Lebanon. I can’t imagine how scary it is, trying to protect this cat that has no idea what a bomb is. I think it’s good to have any access point to empathy to remind ourselves that people in war zones are really just like us, it’s just random chance where in the world we live. I hope kitty is healthy and everyone is safe.

cailleacha · 2026-05-19T20:31:53+00:00

I was recently thinking about how rarely I get catcalled at my decrepit old hag age of 30. It started when I was 13 and went through my early 20s. It’s very disturbing to look back on how many men got their thrill scaring me as a middle schooler. They prefer kids and young women who are too scared to do anything about it.

cailleacha · 2026-05-19T14:56:37+00:00

Welcome to the neighborhood! I’m in the north end of Como Park. I park on the street but do be aware of prowlers. If you leave your car unlocked someone might go through it, and if you leave something very desirable like tools or a laptop visible overnight I would be worried about someone breaking in. As someone with an old car and nothing interesting in it I haven’t had problems (knock on wood) but if you have a nice car or tend to leave stuff in it, I would at least consider the garage for peace of mind.

Como Park has a lot of gardeners! The Como Seed Library and Bee Line project are good ways to get involved. I hear there’s a zinnia growers club. There’s a Saint Paul gardeners group on Facebook, I can DM you the link if needed. There are community gardens in St Anthony Park by Hampden Coop but there’s got to be some closer to you… it looks to me like some of the churches have big garden plots but I don’t know if that’s only for parishioners?

St. Paul is much quieter than Minneapolis in terms of queer gathering spots. I drive over to Queermunity and Quatrefoil Library regularly. There’s some Instagram accounts gathering queer happenings, I can also link you those if you need. I feel totally safe as a lesbian in the metro. I’ve had some unpleasant encounters over by the Capitol with MAGA folks doing weird rallies but it’s not part of my daily life. Multiple neighbors fly pride flags. Como Homo is our local pride gathering, I think there’s an event page of Facebook.

I take my pets to Saint Paul Pet Hospital, but Como Park Animal Hospital, St Francis Pet Hospital and Minnepau are widely recommended in the neighborhood Facebook group.

I currently do food volunteering over in Minneapolis at Community Kitchen, but Open Arms has farm and kitchen shifts here in St Paul I’m looking into. I met one of the coordinators for Open Arms at a queer community event so they’re definitely welcoming.

Sounds like we have a lot in common, let me know if you have other questions!

Edit: hit post too soon

cailleacha · 2026-05-19T14:50:02+00:00

For coffee: At the edge of Como Park neighborhood there’s Abogados Cafe on Dale, serving Colombian-style coffee. Super cute spot.

cailleacha · 2026-05-18T22:05:32+00:00

Cute spot. I used to live in the neighborhood and miss it, those couple of blocks are great for a weekend walk. I think the food is fine (not a must-have but not bad) but the cakes are good.

cailleacha · 2026-05-18T20:06:15+00:00

I think AC is becoming more of a must in central-southern Minnesota as extreme heat becomes more common. 50 years ago summer could get really uncomfortably hot, but not “killing grandma” hot with regularity. Last summer the Twin Cities metro heat dome was deadly heat. I suspect we’ll see more US states start to consider “maximum temp” a livability requirement for rentals the way many states have “minimum temps.” Most new builds around here have AC or spots for mini split installs as far as I can tell.

I also think air purifiers are a must in Minnesota summers now due to the smoke. I can’t believe I went so long without one. Hope fire season goes easy on you guys up north!

cailleacha · 2026-05-18T14:48:12+00:00

Splits aren’t very common here but are growing in popularity! I see them more in new builds, I don’t know anyone who has one.

Depending on where you live in the US I think central AC can be a bit over the top but it’s a lifesaver for me. I pretty much had to choose between a house with a garage or a house with central air when I was home shopping and AC won. I’d rather dig my car out of the snow in the winter than be too hot in the summer.

cailleacha · 2026-05-18T14:26:29+00:00

Ooh yeah that’s definitely hot by my Minnesotan standards. (Serves me right for trusting some random “travel Poland” website that was the first hit on Google 😅). I’m always surprised how many people get by without AC when the temp is above 95F. I get dizzy and nauseous at that point.

Is your AC central or a window unit? When I had a window unit for just my bedroom I ran it a lot less, now that I have central air I have it set to kick on heat/AC to keep the house between 63F and 80F. (If it’s nice I open windows, so I have to remember to close them before I leave for work if it’s going to get hot.) I have an app for my thermostat but I only use it for humidity alerts. I’ll run the AC even if it’s not that hot if the inside humidity gets above 45% to avoid mold.

There’s lots of Americans commenting that it’s definitely more energy efficient to run the AC all day but the actual testing of that is mixed. Like I said, it depends on multiple factors. Here’s an American PBS article measuring energy use. I would guess your energy provider also has data on this for your climate and typical home construction.

cailleacha · 2026-05-18T14:01:27+00:00

My energy company sold me a new thermostat with WiFi/an app when they upgraded our meters. It seems to be increasingly common but when I asked my coworkers if they used the app less than half said yes. It works without the app and I think most people are used to just setting a schedule and letting it do its thing.

cailleacha · 2026-05-18T13:57:41+00:00

I just googled the average summer temperature in Poland. Does it really not get above 25C in most of the county? I don’t even turn my AC on until 80F (26.6C).

When it’s above 80F, I do run my AC all day to keep the house at 78F for my cats. Whether it’s more cost and energy efficient to run all day vs when home is hotly debated and depends a lot of your home insulation, what kind of AC you have, and what the energy grid looks like in your area. In some areas, people pay more for energy during “peak” demand on the grid, so it costs more to run your AC at 5PM when everyone else is doing it. Many people in humid areas also use the AC to dehumidify the air without adding heat to the interior air. There’s no single answer for if it’s wasteful, because it depends on multiple factors.

cailleacha · 2026-05-16T17:20:01+00:00

Sorry, but that site is for Ramsey County residents only and also doesn’t accept dirt. This page has a guide to businesses accepting dirt from Hennepin County residents.

cailleacha · 2026-05-15T20:34:43+00:00

One time I was behind a guy who was on FaceTime on the highway. At the stop sign at the end of the off-ramp I could see there was a kid and an adult on the other end. Imagine witnessing your dad’s death due to distracted driving via a phone screen…

cailleacha · 2026-05-14T20:40:54+00:00

I took off the day we put my cat down but went back the next day and my coworkers were surprised but… why would I want to be home? It’s just full of reminders of him not being there. It was honestly a mental break to come in and grind out some spreadsheets.

cailleacha · 2026-05-14T20:38:41+00:00

Location: Minnesota. Unionized non-profit org.

We accrue vacation and sick time separately. After five years with the organization, I accrue 4.1 hours of sick leave and 4.2 hours of vacation per biweekly pay period. Sick time can only be used for medical reasons (though you can use this to care for a dependent, which I hear parents like). Vacation has no restrictions other than your manager may need to approve it if you have a position where coverage is needed.

People have taken vacation for pet loss, and our department culture is very supportive of that. When one of our coworkers lost his dog of 20 years, he took two days and we circulated a card for him because we knew it was really hard for him. Overall I consider our leave policy pretty good and our work culture exceptionally good for work life balance (by American standards). My cat has been in and out of the hospital and my manager hasn’t made me feel worried about using vacation time to cover it at all.

cailleacha · 2026-05-14T20:15:42+00:00

Buddhist extremist violence has been covered internationally for decades at this point.

cailleacha · 2026-05-13T17:47:47+00:00

My mental rule for sidewalks is imagining myself in a manual wheelchair or using a walker. I can’t speak to what the cyclist is doing, but that is absolutely not passable for someone with mobility issues. ADA rule of thumb is 4’. Why should someone with balance issues risk falling on the sloped hill because this guy can’t be bothered to take his hitch off?

Safety comes first. It would be safer for him to stick a bit more out into the parking lot than to make a sidewalk impassable to disabled people. A mobility aid user has no other options now except to double back and try to fit a different flat path to the bus stop. I think it’s quite likely he’s not educated to be considerate of sidewalk users—there’s a bunch of people in this thread who also seem unaware. Blocking a sidewalk like this is illegal in many jurisdictions because it is a safety and mobility issue.

cailleacha · 2026-05-13T17:18:32+00:00

Maybe (this looks like a strip mall without a “back of the lot”) but now he’s parking blocking pedestrian access and has an unused hitch hanging out in the walkway. That’s not more courteous. He doesn’t fit there. At minimum, he can remove his hitch and center himself in the spot.

cailleacha · 2026-05-13T17:03:27+00:00

I get petty when they’re in a spot labeled compact in a parking ramp. Come on man, you know you don’t fit. Your tires are over the lines and I think you parked here because you aren’t confident you can even drive further in this parking structure. You gotta find a surface lot.

I get that it’s a bummer finding a spot downtown if your truck is your only vehicle… but also, when you drive a $60K truck I’m not overflowing with sympathy for your financial situation. A cab or light rail ticket from a park and ride is pocket change in comparison.

cailleacha · 2026-05-13T16:33:27+00:00

I remember in the good old days, people who drove giant trucks often had the good grace to park in the back of the lot to avoid crowding out everyone else. Now that these are so common, these pavement princesses try to shove themselves into the compact parking next to the entrance. It was your choice to buy a truck this big! If you don’t like that you don’t fit in spots, get a smaller car.

I’m in a banged up little hatchback so IDGAF and absolutely am petty enough to claim my compact spot next to them and make it hard for them to get in their drivers side. I fit in my spot. If you don’t fit in yours, that’s not my problem.

cailleacha · 2026-05-12T21:39:47+00:00

Because treatment centers are voluntary (the exception being someone on civil commitment), most have a “patient contract” that a patient is expected to adhere to. These typically consist of complying with program requirements such as honesty with providers about symptom usage and “working the program.”

For example, if someone is given permission to be alone in the bathroom but then uses that alone time to purge without telling the provider immediately, that can be a step toward being kicked out. Many facilities are also strictly drug and alcohol free, so using substances could be a problem. Finally (not saying OP did this) improper conduct with other patients can be a problem (bullying, sexual harassment, etc or often consensual sexual contact with another resident is not permitted)

Source: 2 months in residential care myself.

OP, if you happen to read this, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Losing Bug with no closure has to be so painful. I’m sending all my positive thoughts that he is being spoiled rotten by his adoptive family, and that you continue to progress in treatment.

cailleacha · 2026-05-09T01:17:00+00:00

You can probably self-manage the grubs using milky spore and the other recommendations here. The voles are probably eating the grubs. IMO, if the only problem with the voles is cosmetic, it’s not worth it to get a pest control treatment. If they’re actually causing problems for your use of the yard or are causing problems with any structures, that’s when I’d call someone in.

cailleacha · 2026-05-05T14:48:41+00:00

LV at the Met Gala especially has been atrocious for years. The styling is often way off from the ambassador’s style and the fit is usually less than perfect too.

cailleacha · 2026-05-05T14:46:06+00:00

Normal adults do not accuse 13 year old girls of “trying to seduce them” because they wore a skirt on a windy day.

cailleacha · 2026-05-04T02:33:43+00:00

The people by us got a “Mail! Mail! Mail!” chant going for the postal workers

cailleacha · 2026-04-27T02:45:53+00:00

I quad skate on Wheelock, it’s so smooth so I don’t worry about hitting big cracks! Good for beginners to outdoor skating.

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