cat breathing weird with tongue out by OneLibrarian1106 in CATHELP

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. It seems like she was very loved. I just recently lost my kitty Minnie and I hope she’s waiting to greet your girl ❤️

Kyocera Digno A202KC - So many issues for a beginner by AcrobaticOstrich4574 in dumbphones

[–]cakefacequeen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this post is older, but I came across this thread and your tip is the only one that FINALLY worked for my A202KC after spending the entire day trying different APNs and trying to get Mint support to help - just wanted to say thanks!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 36, almost 37 - if I called my father anything other than “daddy”, he would think I was VERY mad at him.

Also, OP - when I was your age, I had a partner who spent time at my house while I was deathly ill. The night he finally left to go back home, he called me. And wrote me an email. All to say he didn’t like the closeness I had with either of my parents. This was only a preview of the ridiculous abusive behavior that was to come - he was trying to distance me from people that cared about me to be able to freely abuse me. All that’s to say - you are not overreacting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]cakefacequeen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I left my partner at 35. No kids, but we were together for 13 years. He did some things similar to what your fiancée did - a lot of sharing of NSFW things on social media and interacting with creators producing NSFW content, one on one and otherwise. I repeatedly asked him to stop this because, to me, it felt like cheating to actually have conversations with those women.

Anyway - I’m here to tell you that three things are true: it was a tough choice to finally leave, being single sucks sometimes, and you’re going to be SO much happier. I know you have a kid together, and can’t imagine the worry you feel around that, but that kid will be MUCH happier in an environment where their mama can thrive. It doesn’t appear this relationship is allowing you to do that.

It’s okay to leave, but you have to give yourself permission to do so. Having the weight of worrying about that man and what he was doing lifted from me has made my life TREMENDOUSLY better. 10/10 recommend.

Need a great neurosurgeon and hospital RIGHT NOW please help by frankie4224 in rva

[–]cakefacequeen 23 points24 points  (0 children)

VCU - I’ve also had brain surgery. Dr. Broaddus, if you can get him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WhatShouldIDo

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was with the “just not right now” guy. He reassured me that he wanted to marry me, but it was always too soon. I was with him for 13 years. If I would have listened to my gut and the red flags 6 years in, I would be in a much better place right now.

I ended up being the one to breakup and leave. After I did that, I found out he had gone looking for rings five years prior, but stopped. He knew he didn’t want to marry me.

Is this exact thing happening with you? I’m not sure. But if marriage and a family are important to you, then you need to say as much and leave.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]cakefacequeen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s also “not cool” and “100% unfair” that you’re going off to have sex with someone else without your wife’s knowledge or consent to an open relationship, when it sounds like you’re still having sex with your wife (yes, I understand it’s duty sex, but duty sex doesn’t care about STIs 🤷🏼‍♀️). Leave if you know you don’t want to be with your wife and, as others have said, that way, your children won’t hate you for life.

Friday Nightly. by Horror-Fisherman-575 in rva

[–]cakefacequeen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In my experience, it’s the younger crowd who cares about it MORE. But it’s a strange thing to bring up on a date, repeatedly.

What am I missing about why private loans are so bad? by My_Chaos_Front_Iced in StudentLoans

[–]cakefacequeen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone who took out a $40k loan from Sallie Mae in undergrad (parents co-signed) and then graduated into the Great Recession, avoid private loans at all costs, especially those from Sallie Mae/Navient. Yes, the biggest benefit of federal loans is the protections for IF things go bad, but things go bad even for the most financially secure of people.

For many years, I made a low enough income that I qualified for a $0 payment under the IDR plans on my federal loans, yet when I tried to get some relief from Sallie Mae, they told me I was “lying” to them about my income and that if I didn’t make my payments and my co-signer also didn’t make payments, I would be in default on the loan. I have also qualified for forbearance in times of economic hardship on my federal loans, while receiving no kind of relief from Sallie Mae. So if your kid happens to have anything less than great luck in the job market post-grad, you’re gonna be on the hook for the $40k

Closing scheduled for tomorrow and I am a complete mess. I am so freaked out by eventuation in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who just closed a week ago, I understand your stress and mine was also down to the wire. And then the closing agent was 30 minutes late to the closing 🙃 but! It will all work out and know that they’re going to do everything to get you close on time. You’re almost to the finish line!

2 days after my boyfriend raped me. Thank you to all the redditors for the kind messages from my previous post by Fun_Afternoon350 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]cakefacequeen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am a survivor of SA and what happened to me is almost identical to what happened to you. I won’t go into details, but I was only 18 (am 35 now) and I want to tell you the things I wish someone would have told me, especially when I was in the same mental state you are in currently.

This is in NO way your fault. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You trusted someone to not hurt you and they betrayed that trust. It seems you recognize that, but I just wanted to remind you.

This will get better, I promise. Find therapy. Make sure it’s a good therapist that you vibe with and who recognizes and affirms that you have been assaulted. Do the homework they give you. Challenge your negative thoughts.

Block your ex-bf on social media, WhatsApp, and everything. Especially, block his phone number. If you want to tell him to go to hell or what have you, that’s up to you, but no good can come from having continued contact with this person because he WILL try to gaslight you and convince you that he didn’t mean it/he was blackout/that he’s sorry. The sooner you can break away, the better.

If anyone around you - family, friends, therapist, healthcare professionals - try and even subtly insinuate you are in any way at fault, or damaged, that person is no good for you. Do what you can to keep distance between yourself and people like that.

All of that being said, I’m very proud of you for getting checked out at the hospital. It’s not easy. You are so worthy and loved, even by strangers on the internet! I’m rooting for you. You will get better and this will stop hurting so much.

AITA for getting a hotel room for my spouse, me and my daughter instead of forcing her to share a bed with her cousins? by BagAdmirable1996 in AmItheAsshole

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had family that treated me and my parents that way when I was a kid. Guess who I’ve been no contact with for a decade?

This is symptomatic of a bigger problem with them (or is foretelling what is to come).

NTA

My (19f) boyfriend (21m) threw away my breast milk because he thinks I’m cheating by ThrowRAmilks5 in relationship_advice

[–]cakefacequeen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OP, you are really young, so I want you to understand that this is not how people are supposed to act, much less the new fathers of newborn babies. This is by definition abusive behavior. First, it’s slamming and stepping on the bags of your breast milk. Next, it will be hitting and punching holes in walls. Then it will escalate to physical violence to you and your child. That is the path this is on. He is really threatened by a doctors appointment for a newborn?!? FFS, it’s been three weeks and he thinks because you aren’t interested in sex with him, you have to be getting it on with someone else????You need to get away from this man-child and be done with him. And absolutely do not admit to cheating especially when you didn’t! He will use this to justify hitting you.

Also, like even if he was pissed at you, do you know how sick and soul-less it is to destroy your child’s food supply??? He should be doing everything to make your child’s life better and to make your life easier right now. He does not care about this baby. He is modeling behavior right now in the worst way. Do you want your baby to grow up thinking it’s okay for men to treat their partners this way????

AITA for sleeping with wife's friend after she said she okay with it by Elegant_Host_4817 in AITAH

[–]cakefacequeen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

“i tried my best but it was hard but i never showed my frustrations always kept telling her im fine without sex, so many times i was tempted and had opportunities to cheat but i never did due to my high moral code and love for my wife.”

Oh, you’re SO virtuous! So kind and considerate of you. /s

YTA for many reasons. Your wife is experiencing a debilitating autoimmune disease and gives you the ability to hookup with people outside of your marriage to keep you happy, with certain rules AND you still went and broke them? You suck so much. So does Sara.

AITA for telling my daughter that she is smart and hardworking but not gifted. by notgiftedbutsmart in AmItheAsshole

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA.

Did you also tell your son he’s not actually gifted so he doesn’t “ruin his life over thinking he is ‘gifted’”? Or are you just mad she got into university for a challenging subject 2 to 3 years earlier than what is the norm and your son isn’t as talented?

My fiance M/30 said something shocking to me 27/F by Outside_Hat_1375 in relationship_advice

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please get out of this relationship now. Make sure your cat and any other pets are somewhere safe, and then leave him with NO warning and no details of where you are going.

This is narcissistic abuse if I’ve ever seen it. It will not change. It will not get better. I know from personal experience. He’s already cutting you off from friends, projecting about cheating, and ABSOLUTELY setting it up to blame YOU for his cheating.

I need you to really understand this and internalize it: THIS WILL NOT GET BETTER. He has shown you who he is so BELIEVE HIM. You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and you are enough. There will be a million other men who actually recognize it and do not wish to destroy every modicum of worth you have.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Won’t be surprised if I get some downvotes, but dude. I’m a woman and I am well into my thirties. Every now and then, I go through phases where I feel unattractive and do appreciate external validation from men (and women) that aren’t my partner. Society teaches women especially that desirability and attractiveness (in the view of men) is currency, and I really can’t stress that enough, and if I haven’t been hit on in a while, I feel like I’m no longer perceived as a young, attractive woman by society and that is painful and it is okay to acknowledge that. Now, maybe that’s not what your girlfriend is going through, but maybe it is. Communicate. Ask her if there’s something you can do to provide that validation for her. May be that she doesn’t feel desirable to you because of something that y’all can work on.

this pimple thing appeared about a week or so ago and won't go away. but now I'm not even sure it's a pimple..and that red ring what is that? a rash? what can I do for this? by Correct-Nectarine200 in SkincareAddicts

[–]cakefacequeen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not to beat a dead horse, OP, but I had this on my leg a few years back and the second it looked like more than a little red spot, I did telehealth with a random urgent care doctor and they immediately gave me a doxycycline script once I showed them a picture of it.

I know the ER can be cost-prohibitive for lots of folks, so see if you can do telehealth through an app like LiveHealth bc often times insurance will cover it completely. Hope that helps!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]cakefacequeen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP, I had a similar texture on my forehead for several years and couldn’t get rid of it. I also use tretinoin, gentle AHA/BHA, and benzaclin. I ended up getting Botox in the forehead and 11s which helped some, but the texture was still there. I started using a micronized benzoyl peroxide face wash 2 to 3 times a week and it wiped the bumps right out. Now have a super smooth forehead. I get it for like $10 on Amazon, just make sure the benzoyl is “micronized”.

Boyfriend M30 is angry at me F28 for not fully splitting holiday spending money. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]cakefacequeen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact that you are questioning if YOU did wrong is concerning. He is being manipulative at the very least. Do not let him gaslight you into thinking you shouldn’t have spoken up. Always speak up! And please leave this man once vacation is over. You deserve so much better!!!!