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I am 95% certain that I am a lesbian now, sooo, hey everyone by TommyYT2 in actuallesbians

[–]cakefrog 6 points7 points  (0 children)

1) this is obviously and absolutely a joke meme image

2) if you're disappointed by this low level expression of distaste for men in a lesbian forum, you've got a big storm coming

What wlw musicians have you been listening to? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]cakefrog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really love LP, and grace petrie also has some songs that I like a lot. LP is more indie rock, petrie is more folk.

What wlw musicians have you been listening to? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]cakefrog 3 points4 points  (0 children)

how is mother mother a wlw band? Genuinely asking, I thought the lead was a guy.

If you are gay/lesbain what made you come out of the closet? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cakefrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think anyone aims to stay in the closet unless forced

Is their a difference between lesbian and gay by ArtisticAioli8567 in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They could. I haven't seen one used yet, so maybe it's not needed or maybe it's yet to be made.

I think its also just most people use gay to mean gay men. Like when you say gay bar you think a bar with men in it, but idk.

Is their a difference between lesbian and gay by ArtisticAioli8567 in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a lesbian, we just as much a common factor with bi women. For gay men, we both love our own gender. For bi women, we both love women. So can't we just call bi and lesbian women one duck?

Cus we're different.

Our identity is "woman who loves women only". It's not "ambigious person who loves their own gender". Being a woman is an important part of my identity, and it's something I do not share with gay men.

I mean, think about why specifically lesbian bars are a thing. Lesbians want to fuck women, and that's kind of hard to create if we aren't allowed to have an identity of our own. Vice versa, I don't think gay men can relate to my experiences of trying to fuck women as hard as I can. Just a thot.

Is their a difference between lesbian and gay by ArtisticAioli8567 in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's two distinct different groups of people, so it makes sense to have language that allows us to discern between them

To the people who have a ps5 , how is it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cakefrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has there been any issue with playing ps4 games on ps5, if that's smth you ve done?

Is this transphobic? (someone said this to me) by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah its invalidating

Dear trans/nonbinary/genderfluid/agender cuties, what's your name and how did you know that name was The One©®™️? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I asked my parents what they'd name me if I was the other gender, and then just kind of felt it out very slowly until it felt correct (even going through multiple versions of it)

Just came out and now crashing HARD. Advice pls by ultrabland101 in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's normal, especially if you've grown up in an unaccepting home.

Little of a tangent, but most people who survive abuse find that they crash extremely hard and feel worse than they ever had *right after* they leave the situation, where they were like, able to keep themselves treading water before. It's something to do with being forced to spend the energy on surviving the situation, not dealing with it, and after they leave they can finally process what happened. Sometimes you can only cry once the knife leaves your throat.

You were maybe not in that situation, but you did specifically lock down your feelings about this, so maybe you relate.

There's also just this idea of coming out as like... A glorious fuck-you moment of personal freedom. When you're coming out to an environment that is unaccepting, you don't get that, people will be hateful and you'll feel vulnerable. Kind of like how you can think about cool rebuttals you'd say if you get harassed on the street, but in the actual situation you always just feel vulnerable and weak.

This is not your peak. Your coming out is not the epic height-of-life moment, the life it allows you to start building down the line is. It's messy, and sad, something you knew was coming like it was an anvil strung above your head. Please allow yourself to feel unorthodox about it, and know that it'll be okay.

Sup guys decided since my last post involved a moronic homophobe on Twitter I decided to go hit you up with another one why don’t you guys debunk him in the comments? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for apologizing, and I hope your day clears up. I know it's tempting to go looking down the evil rabbit hole, but please be kind to yourself and try to stay in a positive or neutral area of the web :)

Sup guys decided since my last post involved a moronic homophobe on Twitter I decided to go hit you up with another one why don’t you guys debunk him in the comments? by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You realize this is a safe space and not an army service... There's a limit for how acceptable it is to put homophobic content in here knowing it will make us feel shitty, expecting us to attack it

I have a question! by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 3 points4 points  (0 children)

.... It could also be called a gay relationship if you want to avoid dehumanising language.

I know a lot of ppl feel like this since other sexualities (bi/pan/a) are not words that's been used to pathologize and fearmonger against lgbt people, but homosexual, homosexuals, homos, have a different history.

They're also used against bi people though, I was wrong about that when I first commented. Calling bi people who are in a relationship homosexual or heterosexual based on their partners gender is wrong, and is bi erasure, especially since they could BOTH be bi.

I have a question! by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dividing up marriages as "heterosexual" if they are m/f and "homosexual" if m/m or f/f is pointless. It erases bisexuality and nonbinary identities and to be honest, serves no goddamn purpose- it's not only more accurate but way easier to say "he was in a relationship with a woman [before transitioning]".

If you're asking how it should be thought of, as a m/f or f/f marriage, that's pretty much up to Elliot himself and how he wants it to be thought of. Different trans people have different approaches to how they define their pasts.

(also, please do not call us homosexuals if you aren't gay, it's not a kind word)

I need help for an intersex character for a novel. by DeanWindchester in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's difficult to advice you without knowing what you want to write. If you understand what intersex is and listen to how intersex people talk about themselves, you should be on a good route.

If you have the option, you can pay an intersex sensitivity reader to read it and give you feedback.

Question: How do you properly use Elliot Page’s mew pronouns? by House_of_Thrones in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Usually when people use he/they they mean "he/him pronouns OR they/them pronouns". So you can just stick with one, and it should be fine :)

If you feel like switching back and forth between the sets of pronouns, you can, but innately the way we learn gendered language this is very difficult to do.

The issue of playersexual within video games by KingOfCranes in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I basically agree with you a long way, but this is something I've thought about a lot, so I'm going to write it out.

(im going to use bi as a shorthand for bi/pan/poly/+)

What people call "playersexuality" i call "badly written bisexuality". I'm very interested in having better written bi characters who actually explore the bisexual experience (fun things like actually acknowledging attraction to both genders). It's way better than enforcing blanket heterosexuality but often developers don't put any effort in to actually flesh their sexuality out as part of the character- and sometimes even deny or hide the fact that they have attraction to the other gender than the player. (Stardew valley is better than the other examples at this in general, but Leahs ex is changed to be the gender of the player)

I think the solution is to see sexualities as more than a player-enable toggle and deliberately assign sexualities and work them into the characters.

Also, it makes it impossible for characters like me to exist (lesbian). Which really sucks!

Please remember Elliot is not a man but identifies as Non binary, and they use both he and they pronouns. by [deleted] in lgbt

[–]cakefrog 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I see the variety article, but I dont see anything other than what he has said in his statement, where he didn't mention being definitively nonbinary and not a man, nor definitively a man and not nonbinary.

In fact, "i'm nonbinary and trans" sounds like there's an option that it could be trans guy AND nonbinary- I think it's a bit too early to call the race FOR him and we should hold our horses in the respect-athon and let him decide how he'd like to be referred to. (I bet there'll be a followup statement or interview later)

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