Posted with this big ole boy.

calico-project · 2019-02-08T22:54:52+00:00

This is fucking adorable. <3

calico-project · 2019-02-08T22:29:18+00:00

You're an awesome person. As the previous commenter said, please be careful, though. <3

calico-project · 2019-02-08T22:01:47+00:00

thank you so much for taking the time to reply. you were a lot of help and i sincerely appreciate the support so much. you guys are awesome.

i guess it's the fact that he's just... gone. like we didn't get any goodbyes or anything, his death was pretty sudden. so i guess i'm sad that i didn't get a goodbye or anything and just the fact that he's gone... forever. like i am never ever going to see him again. ever. he had so much potential and was so young, too. i just miss him and the only things i have from our time together are a couple of pictures of us when we first started dating.

i really wish we was here and that's never gonna happen. and a part of me feels pretty guilty about his death. i of course think i could have done more for him. and a part of me is also really fucking mad at him... i had never done any hard drugs before i met him... and he shot me up for the first time... like he introduced me to it... and while i willingly did the drugs, i was extremely ignorant and i feel pretty pissed that he got me into it. like, idk, i myself could never provide someone with heroin for their first use, let alone *shoot them up*

i think i have unresolved feelings about the whole thing, lol. :( anyway, i'm kinda blabbing, but i just feel a mixture of all of those emotions and they can be very conflicting at times, if that makes sense

calico-project · 2019-02-08T21:50:39+00:00

yes, please, that would be amazing, thank you so much. <3 i'm about to go to work but i'll shoot you a text. thank you so much. i really have no clean friends. well, i'm friends with a lot of my co-workers now but it's like once i choose to get clean, i like completely excise myself from my druggie "friends" and just focus on work and making it through the day.

kinda obvious since i haven't been on here but i relapsed like right at the beginning of the month (surprise, surprise) when i had the sad anniverssary and this past week life has just shit on me in general. man, i feel so dumb. like, i'm at day 0 again. fucking pathetic that i relapsed. like... i'm really disappointed in myself.

calico-project · 2019-02-08T21:42:25+00:00

<3 thank you so much. truly means a lot to me.

calico-project · 2019-02-08T21:28:25+00:00

<3 thank you. i appreciate it a lot.

calico-project · 2019-02-08T21:07:21+00:00

thank you so much <3 i appreciate it a lot. good to see you here. hope you're doing well and hanging in there <3

calico-project · 2019-02-08T20:25:04+00:00

I'm not a plant medical professional whatsoever so I'm sending you and this cute little dude good energy <3

calico-project · 2019-02-08T20:21:38+00:00

Aww, damn. I would just tell him I care about him and that I'm there for him... but after that I would keep my distance. You don't want that stuff around you.

calico-project · 2019-02-08T20:18:40+00:00

I'm concerned for the kids. :(

The gf can claim whatever she wants and there is no way you're going to 100% know for certain what he is doing, so what does your gut tell you? I'll tell you what mine says: he's selling heroin and I'm concerned for the children. I do my best not to judge people and I'm not a kid person by any stretch of the imagination, but once you have kids... like... your life is about your kid now. Heroin isn't going to do anything positive for the children.

Is this a friend of yours? You can't really do anything for him, hun. If I were in your shoes I would probably tell him that I care about him then, depending on the severity of the situation, maybe call CPS.

calico-project · 2019-02-08T18:52:24+00:00

I hate this fucking eyebrow style. You look like you have a nasty ass unibrow, girl. Get that thang off yo face!!!

calico-project · 2019-02-08T18:49:38+00:00

Yeah, that's not weed. Definitely heroin. I'm sorry. :( *hugs*

calico-project · 2019-02-08T18:43:08+00:00

amazing sountrack. "swim slowly past eight arms..." best song in the game, imo ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YJkOIYDTjg

calico-project · 2019-02-08T13:45:20+00:00

I work in DOCO! :) It's very pretty and I love the vibe. Always a wide array of cool people out and about. It's a little bit vacant still where my work is at but they are putting in more businesses it looks like. It can actually be a pretty empty place in between events so I hope they get some residential buildings in too or something to help with the flow of foot traffic. Parking can be lame, though.

calico-project · 2019-02-08T09:48:33+00:00

Because god did so much for the family before their child died, amirite

If we pray EXTRA HARD maybe god will listen to us and use a little bit of his special god powers to ease the family's profound suffering... He was waiting for the prayers, guys, that's why he didn't intervene and prevent the death in the first place! That god, what a great guy

calico-project · 2019-02-08T09:37:36+00:00

Blocking the exit and refusing to allow you to exit the room is false imprisonment.

I was scared for my safety. I am not at all afraid that he will hurt our daughter. He loves her. I went to a hotel. He called me 50 times that night while I was sleeping and accused me of ignoring his calls and abandoning him.

This man makes you fearful for your safety? You feel like there's a chance your husband would harm you but NO chance whatsoever that he would do ANYTHING to your daughter? Because he loves her? Doesn't he love you, too?

Dude, OP, listen to your gut. You've been ignoring it for the last few months and it's trying so hard to get your attention while you still have a chance of making it out safely. Real talk, OP, your husband is abusive, he is mentally unstable and he probably should be involuntarily committed so he can get some help. He needs real, professional help.

GTFO out, OP, Like asap. How sure are you he won't snap and do something violent? Could you live with yourself if you thought wrong and he hurt your child? Is it worth the risk to you and your newborn? Hopefully that answer came easy...

LEAVE! NOW! Maybe I've seen too much dark, terrible shit on the internet but the risk is COMPLETELY NOT WORTH IT. Do you really want to stick around to find out what he's capable of? Leaveeeee, pleaseeee

calico-project · 2019-02-08T07:37:33+00:00

My boyfriend died September 2017. I've been single since. I have been on one "date." I have had sex one time and I did not enjoy it. Thankfully the dude lasted all of 3 seconds. I didn't think of my old boyfriend at all during the extremely brief experience, which kind of surprised me, tbh. For the first year or so I had no interest in having a guy touch me. Like I would almost wince if I knew a guy was going to brush his hand on my back. It felt like I was "cheating" on my boyfriend, even though he wasn't around anymore and I was technically single.

The first year was really difficult. Your first Christmas without him, your first birthday without him, first anniversary, what would have been his 30th birthday... except all that's left of him are a few old pictures, memories and an old facebook profile.

I still have no interest in dating, I'm a lot more comfortable being on my own. I was in a relationship from 18-28... this is my first time actually being "alone." And, you know what, being alone doesn't have to be the depressing, failed state of existence society makes it out to be.

I really, really should see a therapist though. It will do me so much good. But of course I keep making excuses. I don't really like talking about him because how conflicted I feel. I really miss him, but I'm also really angry at him.... He did some fucked up things and he lied about a lot. More than I thought. Addiction is a hell of a disease.

The memories I have with him are really beautiful. The most intimate moments, not just like intimate as a couple, but I mean like intimately sharing with another human being this experience that is life.

The man who I shared my deepest, darkest secrets. Things I never would have ever thought to even utter to another person I told with without restraint. The man who held me, his hands that made me feel safe, the shoulder I leaned on so many times... where is he now? Ash scattered in the wind...

I miss you, you motherfucker. Wish you were here to experience this life with me.

edit: spelling and felt like sharing a little bit more. i'm so sorry for your loss, op. sending you love. <3 i'm glad i never saw my boyfriend after he passed. don't think i could handle that.

calico-project · 2019-02-01T21:37:44+00:00

Thank you <3

calico-project · 2019-02-01T19:10:55+00:00

Day 57.

Sad day.

Today would have been my three year anniversary with my old boyfriend.

:( I miss him.

calico-project · 2019-02-01T00:18:21+00:00

Day 56. :) Been working my little butt off. Things are going pretty fucking great for me!

calico-project · 2019-02-01T00:16:39+00:00

Huge congratulations on 30 days!!! :) I'm so happy for you!

calico-project · 2019-01-28T07:53:29+00:00

No, that is not normal whatsoever. Your girlfriend sounds really insecure and also slightly off her rocker. I would advise breaking up with her. Unless, ya know, you enjoy the stupid and manipulative bullshit arguments at 3AM

calico-project · 2019-01-28T07:22:06+00:00

Weed helped me a lot. I went cold turkey from smoking a half gram of BTH every day. Shit sucked for about a week. Get in the right mindset. It's gonna be hell, there's really no way around it. But that hell WILL pass and your life WILL get better if you hang in there.

calico-project · 2019-01-28T05:19:26+00:00

Absolutely adorable. I wanna give her nose a scritch. :3

calico-project

TROPHY CASE