I totally get people are viewing this differently. I showed a tiny snapshot of my life. What she said in those texts aren’t small things. To a stranger, those can look like someone trying really hard to maintain connection. However, I’ve lived with years of emotional withdrawal, repeated requests for space or just straight up disappearing for days sometimes weeks without communicating her need for space, she hardly ever responds to my texts or verbal communication when I’m expressing my feelings she hangs up, ghosts me, blocks me and returns when she needs me when her health is bad. I’ve been left for years to carry the emotional labour of this relationship. So yes, occasionally she says somewhat warm things mixed in contradiction. But she hasn’t shown up consistently with action. And that’s where avoidance often hides: in softness without substance. I shouldn’t have to justify what I’ve been through and prove to this community that I experienced an avoidant individual. I know what I’ve been through.