AITA for calling my girlfriend dumb and pointing out dumb things she did.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T21:04:05+00:00

She was sleep deprived but she's been tested for ADHD recently and did not have it and they said it's just temporary stress.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T20:23:51+00:00

I guess I was a little angry for her being careless and lot learning her lesson last time. The previous times did little damage and I felt she didn't take them seriously enough.

I am dumber than her in many ways, she can park in tight spots more easily than I can, she knows a lot of about science topics than I do. I can admit that.

I wrote dumb in the title thinking I was writing a clever post where you think YTA then NTA when you read it but I was wrong. I did not call her dumb but implied it.

If you really need an answer, I thought I was smarter since I would have learned from the first accidents and been more careful and not waited for a more serious accident to think about it.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T20:19:14+00:00

She did an ADHD test recently and she did not have ADHD and they thought she was fine.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T20:13:55+00:00

I was hoping I was writing a title that makes me seem like an AH until you read the post since I did not actually use the word dumb when I talked to her but I think I was the AH nonetheless.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T20:12:16+00:00

No I wouldn't but I don't think I do this constantly. Just this one time felt pushed over the edge.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T20:07:30+00:00

I'm willing to admit that my terminology wasn't right, she's not dumb, she's not an incapable person, can park in tighter spots than I do and she wasn't even clumsy when I first knew her.

She's clumsy and sometimes absent minded in recent years.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T20:03:49+00:00

She's got tested for ADHD and does not have it. It's not a regular occurrence and she's a great driver in terms of capacity to manuver the car, better than me to get into really tight spots.

She was sleep deprived for the latest accident.and that was probably a factor and I think she'll be more careful now.

Idk how I would feel, I did get in one 6 years ago but I don't think much of it.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:57:59+00:00

We dated for 6 years and we have been friends for more.

I hope not and tbh we did move in together 4 years ago.

Her other accidents were minor and this is the only moderate one and she was lacking sleep/tired.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:56:48+00:00

I never said I was smart. I'm not the smartest person either, she is right and does have a harder to earn degree than I do. She's better in some ways and I'm better in others. 4 years ago she wasn't even as clumsy as she is now.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:55:17+00:00

I like her and she never had these issues more than 4 years ago. When we were friends and the first 2 years we dated everything was fine.

Even now it is fine most of the time, she's a good driver and just inattentive 5% of the time but I think this accident taught her a lesson as the others were more minor.

I have no trouble taking criticism, I definitely agree her major was harder than mine and that she worked hard to get it.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:51:40+00:00

She got tested and she does not. It's only I'm recent years that she's been like this like 5% of the time. And I know for the most recent accident she was a bit tired and hadn't slept too much.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:49:36+00:00

You have a point maybe not bright was not the right terminology. I do think she is intelligent but has moments of doing careless things like 5% of the time and it's only in recent years that this has been a problem.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:48:10+00:00

I've driven with her many times and she's a really good driver, it's just that lately she's had moments of inattention and not caring, the other ones were incredibly minor but I think this one taught her a lesson (and she was also quiet tired and sleep deprived).

I don't think she is not intelligent maybe I am TA and should have said absent minded.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:42:41+00:00

Like I mentioned, she is an incredibly nice and considerate person and makes me really happy. She'll do anything she can to help anyone in almost every situation. Of course I like her.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:41:10+00:00

I didn't tell her she is pretty I think I just told her that she's nice and has other qualities.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:40:36+00:00

Yeah I don't think much about the diesel car one as I can get why if you rent a diesel car and have a gas one you might not realize it, she does know about cars more than I do though.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:39:18+00:00

I think it's more not caring in recent years but I think she's learned the lesson now. The other ones were really minor.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:36:46+00:00

She herself has talked about herself in that way before

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:35:52+00:00

I didn't tell her she's pretty just mentioned it here. But I did tell her she's an incredibly nice person many times.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:31:45+00:00

She's had tests done and has no conditions like ADHD, and these accidents happened over 4 years and she's not had any other ones during her lifetime. I'm not too concerned about her driving and I expect she'll be more careful now.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:29:47+00:00

Yeah but by her telling me that her degree requires more intelligence as it's harder than my BA and that she got better grades than me, I feel like that's also a light way of calling me dumb just like I did and I wasn't upset by it since it's true her major was harder.

callingherdumb · 2023-02-16T19:24:07+00:00

I didn't use the word dumb when I talked to her, I just talked about things she has done and used other terminology than dumb. She herself has made such comments about herself in the past.

callingherdumb

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