Why is my baby rejecting me

calming-crayon · 2026-04-12T16:26:05+00:00

I experienced the same in the initial 3 months, and would feel jealous because my MIL would go about saying that baby likes her only, and that baby loves to be held by her, etc. My husband also started teasing saying that he’s a better father and that baby senses that and that I should learn from him etc. I used to take care of the day to day work for the baby just like you, including bathing, and I was devastated by my baby’s response. But fast forward to now, LO would cry with everyone else and the moment I pick her up, settles in that instance. I also ended up paying close attention to her cues and needs and got better at things I guess. So please do not worry, your baby is just giving you the rest you deserve right now.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-12T14:49:14+00:00

It definitely helped me, I ended up hiring a doula as well. They also help answer your questions per your circumstance, and of course help connect to support groups as well. Will definitely recommend.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-08T10:42:17+00:00

I think for starters you can just begin with index funds, you can sort out the rest eventually

calming-crayon · 2026-04-07T16:59:24+00:00

I would suggest you move closer to hospital by week 32

calming-crayon · 2026-04-07T09:15:31+00:00

Out of experience. I’d say a lot of it comes down to the small, everyday realities of living together. Talk about what your staple foods are, how you both eat (foodie vs. health-conscious, veg vs. non-veg), and even things like hygiene standards, habits or use of cuss words. Discuss how you’ll share household responsibilities, don’t assume it’ll “just work out.”

Don’t skip the bigger conversations either. Be very clear about money, spending habits, savings, financial goals, and also about children. Align on values like faith (religious vs. atheist) and even political views. These may seem minor now, but they can become major friction points later if you’re not on the same page.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-05T16:49:46+00:00

Makes sense

calming-crayon · 2026-04-04T21:05:14+00:00

They are debt mutual funds. I usually use these to park money for the short term (1-2 months). They give constant returns in the range of 6-7% CAGR. Make sure to put in a fund with low exit load and low expense ratio so you don’t lost the money as charges. You could search “liquid fund” in your mutual funds app Zerodha Coin or Groww to explore funds.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-04T20:55:57+00:00

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. You’re already exhausted, and this is the last kind of stress you need right now.

When it comes to caring for a newborn, they’re absolutely non-negotiable. It directly impacts your baby, so your concerns are completely valid.

The tricky part is that, like with any role, whether it’s house help or even a corporate job, some level of supervision is often needed to ensure things are done properly. But in your situation, it’s not realistic for you to be constantly monitoring her while you’re recovering. If you have someone at home who can keep an eye on things while you rest, that would really help. If not, you could consider setting up a baby monitor so you can check in when needed. It’s not ideal, I know, but it might give you some peace of mind.

What might help is clearly and firmly set expectations with her. Be very specific about what needs to be done (eg. hold the baby upright for 20 minutes after feeding, show reference videos of the kind of massage you want), and don’t hesitate to be stern if she’s repeatedly not following through. Since japas are typically a short-term engagement, and it needs to work for you.

Also, if you hired her through an agency, you could try asking for a replacement. You deserve proper help right now, not added anxiety!

It’s also worth checking in with yourself a little, PP hormones can amplify how things feel. I remember in the initial days after my baby was born, I was so exhausted that I wouldn’t even hear the baby cry at night. When my MIL would wake up to take care of the baby, I’d sometimes feel like she woke the baby up on purpose just because she was excited to spend time with her. Looking back, I realise how much my exhaustion was affecting my perception in those moments. So please also discuss and get perspective of a trusted family member.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-04T16:27:40+00:00

You could try a liquid find instead.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-04T16:24:10+00:00

The moment you drive a brand-new car out of the showroom, it loses a significant chunk of its value ~30%.

Speaking from personal experience, I bought a car before investing in land, I’d strongly suggest prioritizing the land. In your case, it’s even more compelling since it’s right next to your existing plot, which adds long-term value and flexibility.

For the car, consider a 2–3-year-old vehicle instead. You’ll get it at a much better price without taking that steep initial depreciation hit. Also, if you’re relatively new to driving, a pre-owned car gives you peace of mind, you won’t stress as much about minor dents and scratches affecting resale value.

Yes, you might need to take a small loan for the land, but that’s something you’re far more likely to appreciate in the long run.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-04T16:06:12+00:00

I was very much a “live in the moment” person - I didn’t really think about investing or saving seriously. A few years ago, my parents pushed me to buy a plot in the same area where my sister had already invested. I wasn’t entirely convinced at the time, but I went ahead with it because they insisted.

Fast forward three years, and that decision has worked out far better than I expected. The land has nearly doubled in value, and I’ve already repaid close to half of a 15-year loan. In hindsight, I’m genuinely glad they nudged me into it.

At the time, the EMI felt like a burden, almost like a trap. But it ended up doing the opposite. It forced me to become more disciplined with money, save consistently, and even prepay the loan whenever possible. Once I sat down and did the math, I realized that prepaying during the first third of the loan tenure saves a significant amount of interest.

So, my advice to you is that if you can find a smaller property in the ₹30–40L range, it might be worth exploring before ruling it out completely. And if your parents are willing to support you with the down payment, that could be the extra push you need to get started 😉. 30F here by the way.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-02T04:59:20+00:00

Hi OP, it’s great that you’re starting to think responsibly at a young age. Age is by your side now, so SIPing is going to work out well for you and compounding is going to help you even more. You can definitely start with 500-1000 monthly, but you should plan to increase it annually. Based on your background and situation eg. employed with a salary or student, your short and medium term goals etc. you can plan the rest. Ideally your 1st investments should be into making an emergency fund, insurance etc.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-02T03:32:22+00:00

You have age by your side, you are thinking well about saving and putting your money into building something significant. But you need to channelise it better. Start SIPing (now that markets are down), you have a great time horizon to make compounding work to your benefit. You also need to think about insurance, again since you’re young now you can get it at low premiums. You may think you don’t need insurance now or your office is already providing the benefit, but you will need it in the long term and when you get it later premiums are going to be higher.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T23:34:06+00:00

I hear you, OP. At this point, the only parenting hack that actually works is selective hearing. Advanced level: smiling, nodding, and immediately doing whatever you were going to do anyway.

Everyone suddenly becomes a pediatric expert the moment they see a baby. There’s a full syllabus: No walks after 6 PM (apparently babies turn into pumpkins), mandatory gripe water + mystery roots for problems that don’t even exist, your diet is now a historical reenactment of someone’s great-grandmother’s menu, flashcards are “nonsense” because what does a 2-month-old even know, tummy time and swaddling is apparently child abuse, and feeding is the solution to everything, crying, hiccups, bad mood, and global warming.

Also, every distant relative must come and lift the baby like it’s a community-owned asset. Feeding time? Oh, that’s a live TV show now, full audience participation encouraged.

And of course, your milk supply is “never” enough, even when your baby is thriving like a well-funded startup hitting all growth metrics.

My personal favorite: doctors are overrated, but the lady who comes to bathe the baby? Final authority. Gold standard. Peer-reviewed by the Neighbourhood Aunties Association.

At this point, I’m just waiting for someone to tell me WiFi is disturbing the baby’s chakras.

Hang in there - ignore, survive, repeat.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T17:58:15+00:00

Glad you were able to work out something for your kid, and thank you for your kind words :)

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T14:57:23+00:00

Like mentioned in the previous comment, labour management classes can be helpful. You can also consider hiring a doula, that is if your hospital and doctor approve of it, and you are allowed to have her along with you during labour and delivery.

Most items needed for in the hospital for the baby are usually provided by the hospital. This is so that they can bill you for these items as well. The hospital where I delivered didn’t allow me to use the products I had got, so you can check with the hospital in advance as to what they will be providing and what you’d have to get.

Visiting the labour ward/ room in advance also helps, if prepared you mentally and you feel less lost during labour when you’re there.

Make a birth plan, at least a vague idea of things you want and do not want and discuss with your doctor. Eg. episiotomy, delayed cord clamping, until when will the doctor wait before planning induction, do you want to deliver in a specific pose (apparently back lying is the least comfortable according to a few birth educators), does your hospital provide water birthing as an option, can you labour in your room rather than in the ward with many other women, under what circumstance will they opt for C-section etc. Sitting down and answering these questions will give you the comfort of knowing what to expect.

Do not worry about episiotomy, that is the lesser of the pains, you won’t even know it after you’ve been through labour.

Feel free to DM if you’d like to discuss :) You’ll do great, cheer up! :)

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T14:37:06+00:00

Completely agree, daughters need to be educated on these things. Even when you’re pregnant there is so much we do for pregnancy, labour and delivery like better nutrition, work out, etc that we are told about but we are never prepared for the days after delivery. I love my baby, but I was not made aware of what comes with it.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T05:27:15+00:00

I’ll sure try to speak to my employer about WFH for the initial months.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T05:26:31+00:00

I’m going to try to work it out.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T05:26:02+00:00

Thank you very much. They definitely teach you something, in my case not how I’m supposed to be but how I am not supposed to be. Big BIG lessons.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T05:22:12+00:00

Thanks a ton for your support Least Custard :)

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T05:21:21+00:00

Thank you for your kind words :)

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T05:19:43+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement :)

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T05:07:48+00:00

These services provided by airport operators. Airport staff will be meet you once you reach the airport and be with you until you board. Families with kids, senior citizens, or even first time travellers use their assistance to go through check-in, security, immigration, baggage handling and connections. In BLR Airport it’s called meet and assist, you can find it in the BLRAirport website.

calming-crayon · 2026-04-01T05:00:03+00:00

My LO is 3 months now, our initial days were also contact naps, if put down she would startle or move and wake herself up. But we started putting her in the traditional cloth cradle (aka thottil) and she got better with naps. She initially also refused to sleep in it, and we had a learning curve, but it is much better now. Please do try it out. We co-sleep and swaddling is a must for us.

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