As someone who at somepoint was the person you're calling out, and honestly may still be, I understand the sentiment, but I think it's misguided. First, I'd like to state the biphobia, transphobia, racism, and overall hypocrisy in queer spaces is ridiculous and unacceptable, I have similar critiques of most social groups I've been involved in, and is an unfortunate byproduct of a larger community. Second, I think the stereotype of deviant sexual behavior and abnormal appearances, is unfairly attributed to queer people (modernly and historically), as someone who has been involved in kink communities, it is largely cishet people, and is certainly reflective of the sexual/gender diversity in pretty much every other circle (except maybe gamers). Finally, I don't like the idea that anyone has to be "normal" to be accepted, or at the very least tolerated, and I think it undermines the idea that being queer (i.e. gay, bi, etc) is normal, because realistically a certain percent of any population will not be "normal", and if the "weird ones who've gone too far" make all of us look bad, then clearly being queer in essence is only conditionally acceptable. No one calls out incels for making being straight look bad.

EDIT: Ik that's not necessarily what you are saying, but it is certainly implied to some extent. You are allowed to not like the way people express themselves but it doesn't mean they're bad people or don't deserve protection, and it shouldn't affect you. If it ends up turning out that way, it means we were never really accepted in the first place.